Green Scaly Chest Monster

Harry and Hagrid have The Talk. Characters belong to Rowling.

"Um... Hagrid?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

"There was something I wanted to ask you."

"Ask ahead, boy."

"Well... you being one of my best friends and all, and having lived a long life and seen a lot of the world..."

"Ay, I have that."

"And you being the Magical Creatures teacher, knowing all there is about all kinds of beasts."

"No mystery for me there, Harry."

"What I wanted to ask you..."

"Ay?"

"What I wonder if you can tell me about..."

"Ay?"

"What I need your advice about..."

"By Merlin's beard, spit't out!"

"You, who know all manners of beasts and monsters, you of any must know about the Green Scaly Chest Monster?"

"...the Green Scaly Chest Monster?"

"That's the very one."

"Yer asking me about the Green Scaly Chest Monster?"

"As true as I stand here."

"Sit down, Harry."

"I'm sitting down."

"Now, lad, what on earth makes yer come here to me, this fine day, askin' 'bout the Green Scaly Chest Monster?"

"You do know about it, don't you."

"Ay, I know."

"Then tell me!"

"I remember yer, Harry, when yer were barely a pup in your mother's arms, and yer looked at me with those green eyes of yers... and I remember when I took yer from Sirius' arms that night... I remember the night I picked yer up at that gods-forsaken hut, and brought yer to London..."

"So do I, Hagrid."

"And never did I think, that that scruffy little tyke I saw would one day grow up to come here this fine day, askin' me 'bout the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"And yet, here I am this fine day, asking you about the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"Harry, Harry... Yer've lived an adventures life, yer've faced all manners of creatures..."

"...Sphinxs, screwts, mandrakes, chess pieces, basilisks, dragons and a three-headed dog."

"A beauty, Fluffy, aint she?"

"...Centaurs, merpeople, giants, dementors, Voldemort..."

"Don't yer go sayin' that name!"

"Sorry."

"...But I'm tellin' yer, lad. Yer've yet never faced anythin' like the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"I've flown a thestral to London."

"Who haven't?"

"I've wrestled a werewolf."

"Does yer good!"

"I've fought a dozen of death-eaters."

"That's the spirit."

"I've survived the killing curse!"

"Yer might want to try that again."

"And yet you say, that I've yet to face anything like the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"Ay, Harry. Yer've yet to face anythin' like the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"It's like an itching and a prickling..."

"A clawin' and a bitin'..."

"Have you ever faced the Green Scaly Chest Monster, Hagrid?"

"Harry, I've lived a rough life, and I've faced what manners of beast there are."

"I've seen a few of them."

"I've fought trolls, I've tamed hippogriffs, I've raised screwts - an' a mighty fine job I did too. One of my best friends was an Acrumantula!"

"We've met."

"An' the dragons, Harry. Ah, the dragons."

"But the Green, Scaly..."

"But in my long life, I've never faced anythin' else that's quite like the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"What was it like?"

"There come a time in every man's life, when he has to worry about the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"Every man?"

"Harry, in New Guinea, the Lethifold strangles its victims, unseen at night. In Greece, the Chimaera and Manticore stalks. In Africa, the Nundu spreads death as no other creature ever walkin' the green earth - but I tell you. None of these is antyhin' compared with the Green Scaly Chest Monster."

"It attacks me from where I can't see it."

"Ay, it does that."

"It bites through all my protections, leaving me defenceless."

"Ay, that's the Green Scaly Chest Monster, all right."

"It hurts like nothing I felt before, and it only gets worse."

"Ay, a poisonous beast, it is."

"What can I do, Hagrid?"

"Aint anything to do, Harry."

"How can I defend myself?"

"Yer can't."

"Can't I get rid of it, then?"

"Once the green Scaly Chest Monster has sunk its fang in yer heart, it's not about to give up on yer, lad."

"Don't you have any words of comfort for me?"

"Yer'll get over it Harry. We all do, eventually."