Kisame had no idea how he got landed with Itachi of all people. Most days, the other man said a total of one word, and usually it was some sort of grunt of agreement. He would have rather been paired up with Hidan, for despite that fact that Hidan was a rude, annoying asshole who didn't shut up, he at least talked.

Which was more then could be said for Itachi. Ever.

On good days, he could coax a sentence or two out of the other man, but that usually involved killing something, and the sentence or two was always something about, "Too weak," or lacking hatred. Kisame had no desire to cross Itachi, but for being the supposedly most bad-ass member of Akatsuki, he was incredibly boring.

Even the way he killed was boring.

At least Hidan had those crazy religious rituals. Slow and annoying, but he actually enjoyed doing the job.
Kisame really wondered what Itachi was getting out of all of this.

Sitting down to eat out on a grassy field, Kisame thought he would try conversation.

"So, Itachi," said Kisame.

Itachi glanced at the shark man, bored. "What?"

Kisame sighed. That look did not bode well. "What do you think about all the time?"

The bored expression changed. He now had a look of bored curiosity. Kisame had not thought such a combination possible.

"What do you mean?"

"You're so damned quiet all the time," said Kisame. "It's boring."

"I am not here to entertain you, Kisame. We have a job to do."

Wow. Words that formed actual sentences! Ok, maybe they were insulting, but. . . it was a start.

"Yeah, but. . . don't you get bored?"

"That's none of your concern," said Itachi, flatly.

"I'm not concerned," said Kisame. "I'm bored. Out of my mind. Because I am stuck out here with you, who says nothing. Not a word, ever. And I'm bored."

Itachi said nothing, and stirred the food. Kisame sighed. He didn't even care if he was pissing off the other man, he was bored and Itachi was boring, and even if the other man was about to kill him, at least it would bring an end to his boredom.


"Itachi. Dammit. You're as ass."

Itachi looked at Kisame blankly.

"Don't give me that look," said Kisame.

Itachi continued to stare. Kisame was about ready to kill him.

"You're really a pain, you know," said Kisame. "What's dinner?"


"That's cruel."

"It's not shark," said Itachi. "Trout."


That night, as Kisame slept and Itachi kept watch, he couldn't help but grin. It had always been easy to fool the minds of the weak, and it pleased him to no end that the silent treatment that he gave Kisame all the time had been working. Itachi's face returned to his normal, bored expression. It was too easy to drive people to insanity with the sharingan, and much more satisfying if you could do it without words.

If Kisame wanted an answer to why. . . . . Itachi would have gladly told him that he was doing it because it amused him.
At least he wasn't bored.