Chapter 15: Confusion
They had port-keyed back home as soon as Draco and Hermione returned from their walk. Nick had been holding a small bucket filled with various sea shells that he wanted to take back home. Upon arriving, Hermione told Nick to take a bath and he was asleep soon afterwards, obviously exhausted from the big day. Draco had locked himself up in his office and had not come out since. He needed time to think about the situation that had occurred on the lookout tower.
Hermione lay in bed, staring at the roof. She could not get the kiss out of her mind. It had blown her away. Never had she thought that Malfoy could make her feel this way. She hadn't had many kisses in her lifetime, but there was something definitely different about this one. Kissing, to Hermione, had always been slightly repulsive. To her there was nothing appealing about sharing someone else's saliva and having their tongue slipped down your throat. But the way Draco had kissed her…it had left her lightheaded, exhilarated and longing for more.
But she was not supposed to feel this way about him.
He was the guy that had raped her. He may have given her the best thing in the world but that didn't change the kind of person that he was. Knowing him, he might try and use their situation, if something else ever did occur, to his advantage, as he did with every other aspect of his life.
But would it be so wrong to have feelings for him? Would it really be that bad if she fell in love with Nick's father?
In the case of Malfoy it was. He would only end up hurting her and she could not bear to deal with that pain.
There was nothing to do but wait and see what he would make of the situation and then if he did try to pursue some kind of relationship between them, which to Hermione were extremely unlikely, she would have to wait and see exactly how honest he was being before agreeing to anything serious. One wrong choice could possibly cost Hermione her son, and she was not prepared to take that risk.
He couldn't get it out of his mind. That damned kiss. He didn't know what in the name of Merlin had possessed him to kiss her, but he had and now didn't know what to make of it. It was different to any other kiss he had shared. It wasn't lust-driven like the rest of them. There had been a certain feeling behind it, one he could not recognise. It left him confused and he just didn't know what to do. But, he was sure of one thing and that was the fact that he wanted to do it again. He wanted to feel her soft lips against his once more. He wanted to be able to taste her again. Just once would never be enough.
But was it right?
He shouldn't be feeling like this. It was Granger after all. She was the bushy haired know-it-all whom he had spent his Hogwarts years envying. She had made his life living hell, whether she was aware of it or not. His father constantly punished him for being behind her in school, for falling behind a Mudblood.
But things weren't the same anymore. They were no longer teenagers fighting for the limelight. No. She was the mother of his son. They lived together and were learning to maintain a little peace.
Would it be so wrong to have feelings for her? Would it really?
Yes it definitely would.
Not because of who she was, but because she would instantaneously suspect something. He really couldn't blame her because, after all, he had "raped" her. The thought gave him the chills. He may not have been in his senses at the time but it didn't make a difference. That was all she would see him as. So he would have to wait and see if she were at all comfortable being around him and wait for her to make the first move.
Draco walked into their bedroom to find Hermione sitting on the bed, leaning against several fluffy pillows, a book lying open in her lap. He was shocked to find that instead of being intently absorbed in whatever story the words had to offer, she simply stared at the pages blankly. She seemed to be in a world of her own. Considering her usual obsession with books, this was extremely odd behaviour. Draco could take a fairly accurate guess as to what exactly the cause of such a reaction must have been.
Hermione snapped out of her reverie as Draco closed the door with a sharp snap. She stared at him with a guarded expression and he gazed back equally as hesitantly. An awkward silence pursued and neither seemed to know how to break it. Hermione looked away first and cleared her throat. She absentmindedly closed her book and set it aside before arranging the pillows around her head. It seemed she was doing this, just to have something to occupy her hands. Draco continued to standing by the door for a few seconds, blinked a couple of times and shook his head as if to clear it. He had been overcome with a sudden urge to jump onto the bed and kiss the unsuspecting girl senseless.
'Easy there, Draco, no need to frighten the poor bird.'
Just then, Hermione stretched her arms above her head and fell back onto the pillows, releasing a long sigh. To Draco she looked absolutely delectable. Her hair fell messily around her face. Her tank top was riding slightly up over her stomach, exposing just the right amount of skin. And her legs, exposed by the small shorts she wore, were angled in the most inviting position. His breathing grew heavy and there was a slight tightness in his trousers.
'I need to get out of here,' he thought silently to himself before crossing the room with long, purposeful strides. He closed the bathroom door behind him as he entered it, letting out a long breath. He hurriedly ripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, making sure the water was ice cold. As the water hammered down his back he took deep breaths to calm himself. Only when he was sure that he had completely returned to his senses, did he step out of the shower.
When he re-entered the bedroom, Hermione was thankfully under the covers. She looked up at him as he entered and her eyes followed him as he walked around to his side of the bed and got under the covers himself.
"What?" he asked her when he noticed her stare.
"Nothing." Hermione blushed and looked away.
There was an awkward pause. Draco stared up at the roof, his eyes tracing the intricate patterns. Funny how he had never noticed the detail before. He could feel Hermione fidgeting beside him, trying to get into a comfortable position. She finally settled for laying flat on her back, just as he was, starting up at the roof.
"Nick had fun today," she said slowly.
"Yeah, we should take him out more often."
Draco looked at Hermione out of the corner of his eye and was surprised, yet only slightly, to see her looking back. They both turned away, blushing scarlet.
This is ridiculous, thought Draco. I can't believe I'm acting like some ten-year-old with a crush.
"Look, I know that you're thinking about that…er...kiss," Draco started, and instantly regretted it because of the look she gave him.
"And you're not?"
"Well, what do you think? I haven't been able to get it out of my bloody mind."
Hermione laughed at that. "That makes two of us."
"So what now?" he asked, looking at he expectantly.
"I don't know. I've never been more confused in my whole life," replied Hermione, twirling a strand of her hair.
"There's a shock. Hermione Granger, confused."
"Oh you're so funny."
Draco laughed and Hermione flowed suite. They both realised what was happening and broke off suddenly.
"There's nothing really we can do about this," said Hermione, "I mean, we're just going to have to wait and see what happens."
"You're right. I mean it was just one kiss, we need to see where this if going."
Draco sat in his office on Monday, twirling a quill in his hands. It had been a long day his company was planning a merger and the paper work had been absolutely excruciating. It didn't help that he had the most incompetent people working for him. If it wasn't for the fear of bankruptcy he would have fired them all.
Suddenly and owl flew in from the open window. That was odd, who could possibly be writing to him at this time. The bird landed in front of him and held out its leg. Draco pulled the large envelope off and ripped it open.
Inside was a large sheet of cardboard folded into quarters rather messily. Draco unfolded it to see the words 'I love you Daddy' written in large crooked crayon writing across the top. A smile broke out on his lips as he read those words and looked at the picture underneath it. It was a drawing of him, Hermione and Nick, or so he thought because there were three mutated figures, a big one with yellow hair, another one with brown locks that reached the floor and a small one with yellow hair. They were at the beach building a sandcastle. The figures moved due to the use of magical crayons.
Never had Draco thought anything adorable in his whole life, but that was the only word that came to mind as he examined the picture. He walked up to the large pin-up board at the other side of his office and pinned the picture onto there. To his shock, the picture of him was cuddling Hermione as Nick lay in her lap.
Looking at the picture, Draco couldn't help but thinking that the image was absolutely perfect…and that, a real life replica of it wouldn't be so bad after all.
A/N: Okay guys, I'm so sorry I know I haven't updated in agesssss but I've been so busy. Just started uni and it's been crazy. Hope you like it….reviews???