Mashou Tokoshi leaned back in his chair, bobbing his head to the pulsing music. The giant of a man, 6'6 and a ton of muscle, grinned perversely as the near naked blond girl's ass shook to the rhythm. Her hips gyrated to and fro and he licked his lips lewdly at the sight. The sexy blond bent over in front of him, touching her toes, and she turned her head, winking coyly at him.

Mashou couldn't stop admiring the look of naivete and innocence the girl's pigtails, long and flowing, gave her as they brushed across her tempting heart-shaped ass. She lifted one of her long, slim legs, rubbing her inner thigh against the cool metal pole in the middle of the stage. Her leg coiled around the pole, and she bent back seductively, her breasts falling at him. He leaned forward to get a better look.

"Damn, baby! You're something else!" the missing Steam-nin exclaimed. He wore his headband proudly, a bold scratch through three curvy lines, and the rest of the clubs patrons willingly had left him alone because of it.

At the behest of the manager, he had been invited to have a private room. He had considered killing the man for talking to him, but had reconsidered and accepted the offer. The room was very impressive, sporting its own personal dancer and a pole she seemed to be very familiar with.

"If you weren't so overdressed-!"

The girl pulled herself against the pole, grinding against it. She smiled back at him, turning her head to the music, her long ponytails caressing her creamy thighs.

"What's your name?" Mashou rumbled, standing up, hands grasping the edge of the stage. "You're so good at your job."

The girl slid down to her hands and knees, and crawled toward the missing-nin. She beckoned him closer and Mashou complied, leaning in. A delicate hand slipped into his hair and his eyes scanned her slender arm down to her chest, then face, for the first time noticing three strange whisker marks on each of her cheeks.

The dainty hand seized his hair and his head was snapped back, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Name's Naruto Uzumaki," the girl whispered before she exploded into a puff of smoke.

It cleared quickly, revealing a twenty something young man, fully clothed in typical Jounin garb. Shaggy blond hair fell down around his cheeks, over a Konoha headband and his sky-blue eyes. The hand yanked on his hair, pulling his head back further.

Mushao's eyes widened.

"And yes, I'm damn good at my job," Naruto growled before slamming a kunai into man's unprotected throat.

The missing Steam-nin tried to scream, but gargled on the blood filling his throat instead. His mouth was covered by the blond Leaf Jounin's free hand, silencing him completely. He convulsed weakly, body slumping in his chair.

Naruto removed his hand, and leaned back, admiring his work. He slowly cleaned the blood from his kunai, eyes never leaving Mushao's face. Frowning, the Leaf-nin scratched lightly at the back of his neck with his newly cleaned weapon.

"Hope you're not angry, just doing my job," Naruto apologized.

The corpse didn't respond.

"I'll take your silence to say that you're not."

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"Never contend with one that is foolish, proud, positive, testy, or with a superior, or a clown, in matter of argument."
- Thomas Fuller

A Mind Bending Inconvenience
A Naruto Story
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga right now (Chapter 356) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time. Updated to include more recent events in the manga.

Also, thanks to Corwin for his help.

Prologue - Good Day, Bad Day

Naruto Uzumaki was having a good day. He'd completed his A-Rank mission all too easily and upon his return to Konoha, Tsunade had offered him a long awaited S-Rank.

His last one had been so long ago, he barely could recall what it had been about. What made the S-Rank mission all the more great was that it was in Spring Country, once known as Snow Country. He'd get to see Princess Yukie again and maybe even get another kiss. Apparently she had requested him specifically.

The blond Jounin rubbed his hands together, grinning slyly. Naruto was to leave some time in the next three days, but the sooner the better. He planned on heading next day, early in the morning.

He stretched his arms over his head before resting them on his neck. His large grin caused many pedestrians to stare, but he didn't care. They could stare all they wanted; it was a good day.

Ino Yamanaka was having a bad day. Horrible day and it was all because of a certain boy. Sai had grated on her nerves so badly over the past two weeks and today just topped it off. After spending nearly six years of training him to show his emotions, Sai was about as lively as a turtle. Any romance they may or may not have had after their first meeting was small, and Sai even now could hardly understand the concept of giving her a compliment.

He had, after a couple years of her coaching him not to, called her Ino-Pig. It stung. She hadn't been called that in a long time, and to hear it come from Sai made her feel like crap. It also pissed her off and she had punched the painter in the face before storming away, leaving him bleeding and confused.

Ino had wanted compliments, especially from her ex-boyfriend, if she could even consider Sai that. They rarely went out, they'd hardly made out, and he rarely was around in the first place, constantly on missions. She was really regretting all the time she'd spent on him. Sure he was good hearted, and occasionally sweet, but he
seemed to really be obsessed with other guys penis', specifically Naruto Uzumaki's.

She had hounded him constantly to find out why he was so obsessed with it, but he'd just shrug and smile. Ino was surprised that her patience had lasted as long as it had, putting up with Sai's frustrating nature. Chouji and Shikamaru couldn't stand him at all, as all Sai did was insult them.

The beautiful blond sighed heavily, shoving her hands deep into her pockets as she continued her angry march through Konoha's streets.

She was the sexiest kuniochi of her age, the boys of the Rookie Nine having actually voted on it. From what she'd heard, only one of the guys hadn't voted for her: Naruto.

It always seemed to come back to that blond idiot, as if everything in Konoha revolved around him.

The blond kuniochi could admit that Naruto really had changed. He was one of the most respected Jounin in the Leaf Village, and there were whispers of his possible succession to the Hokage after Tsunade-sama's retirement.

He was much taller now, with broad shoulders and a well toned body as well as a handsome face, in a shaggy haired sort of way. It made sense considering how much he trained: Nonstop. A fan club followed him around from time to time, and it wasn't uncommon to see him with a female companion walking by his side. Not that he would ever admit to dating one of them. No, he was still saving himself for his beloved Sakura, who was so busy nowadays that she rarely ever left the hospital.

And while Shikamaru was a genius-genius, Naruto had a a complete idiot savant. He'd come up with utterly ridiculous battle plans, in the middle of being beaten to a pulp, that would miraculously work and save his ass.

Ino shook her head, long hair swishing. That didn't change the fact that he was still loud, annoying as all hell, and a pompous jerk. To her anyway.

She grunted as someone bumped into her shoulder and turned to give them an earful. 'Speak of the devil.'

Naruto grinned back at her. "Hey, Ino! Sorry about that," he said, smiling still.

Ino glared dangerously. "Just watch where you're going, idiot," she growled and spun around, making to leave.

"Such a brat," Naruto mumbled.

The blond kunoichi turned on Naruto. "What was that, idiot? What did you call me?"

"I called you a brat, because you are one!"

"I am in NO mood today, Naruto, and your loud mouth and stupid shit-eating grin aren't helping!" Ino exclaimed, pushing the other blond.

"Yeah, well I WAS in a good mood, but you sure know how to keep things upbeat! No wonder Sai's still so weird!" Naruto shot back, stepping up to Ino and towering over her. "You're such a. . . a. . . I don't know, but you suck!"

A few pedestrians eyed the two arguing blonds.

Usually soft pale blue eyes turned hard and glared up into Naruto's much darker ones. Ino grabbed the front of the taller Jounin's jacket. "Team 10's training grounds, right now. You and me."

Naruto barked out a laugh. "You're kidding! I'd cream you in a second, Yamanaka! I'm not going to waste my time fighting you!"

"You're just afraid to fight me, Uzumaki! I'll beat your ass!" Ino taunted, letting go of his jacket and turned away.

"Beat my ass? You coming onto me, Ino-chan?" Naruto teased, and grinned winningly.

Ino paused in mid-step. "Team 10's training grounds, or I'll tell Sai you want to take a bath with him." She started down the street, hips sashaying almost mockingly.

Naruto grimaced at the threat before raising an eyebrow at the blond kunoichi's backside. Sliding his hands into his pockets, he pursed his lips in thought. "She does have a nice ass, I'll give her that," he muttered to himself before stepping to follow.

Next Time: Chapter 1 - The Mind Is A Dangerous Tool
Naruto and Ino's fight results in a dire circumstance.

A/N: Hey, another one! So, hopefully this short prologue has sorta filled you all in as to some of what's happened. Naruto and Ino are around 22 years old, both are Jounin and though Naruto has grown physically, he's still rather immature.

Spring Country/Snow Country is from the first Naruto movie.