Title: Make it Real
Author: Barbara Graf
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Summary: Draco makes a decision that changes his life forever.
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling and are hers. I'm just another bored Harry Potter fan waiting for the fifth book to come out. No harm is intended. Just wanna tell a story.
A/N: This is the sequel to "Hold on to the Nights." I'm here to tell you, this is once again SLASH. Meaning, it is the telling of a relationship between two males. If you do not like this type of writing, please hit the back button on your browser now, for I have no time for your prejudices or bigotry. If you feel that slash is horrible or sickening, then hit the back button now and if you choose to flame me, I will laugh, because flames are nothing but rubbish to me. The song is "Make it Real," and it's by the Jets.
Dedication: For my angel. Thank you for always being there for me and making me think I have some sort of talent.
Tonight it's been a year
We met each other here
Here I am, all alone
As thoughts of you go on
It's been a year since I've made the decision that changed my life forever. I mean, how often can one say that they've had to choose between love and loyalty.? Do you do what's right? Or do you do what your heart tells you to do? I'm alone at the place that we first met, Harry. The very first place. Do you remember when we were 11 and we first met in the robe shop? I knew who you were. I mean, what wizard didn't know who you were? We were brought up knowing you, that you were the "Boy Who Lived," or in the words of my father, "The Boy Who should've Died." My father hated you Harry, and from the time he heard you had survived the curse, he knew that you had to die, even if Voldemort never came back into power. He knew that he would make it his personal mission to kill you.
Enough thoughts about my father. I'd rather think about you. It's been a year since I last saw you, what with the war with Voldemort going on and on. I'm all alone again. Didn't think that it would be this hard, to let you go like this, to tell you everything that has happened. I'd rather think about you, than what I'm about to tell you. The memories come back to me of the night I told you everything that happened.
"Harry, I have something to tell you."
"What is it, love?" you asked softly, your green eyes looking intently at me.
"Tell me Draco."
I hesitated and you saw the uncertainty across my face, and you came over and cupped my face in your hands, saying quietly, "Tell me."
Instead of telling you, I just lifted up my shirt, showing you the mark of the Death Eater. You stared at it, intently for a moment and then looked at me, eyes full of suspicion and something else I couldn't identify. Was it hate, pity, understanding. You didn't say anything for a long moment, just stood there, staring at the mark.
"Tell me what your thinking, Harry. Please, don't stand there and stare at it, looking at it like you've never seen one. Snape has one, you've seen his."
You didn't say anything for a long moment and I waited in fear for your response. "I swear, I didn't want this, it was a present for my father on my 16th birthday. I swear, I had no choice."
Still, you said nothing.
"Harry, please," I pleaded, grabbing your arm and trying to make you understand. "Please, believe me."
"Draco," Harry said quietly, green eyes unreadable, "You made me a promise you would tell me everything, that we would never keep anything from each other, but yet, when it came down to me, your like the rest, you just wanted to bed me so that you could turn me into Voldemort. Didn't you?"
"No, Harry, don't ever think that, I love you." I felt the tears running down my cheeks. "You know I love you."
"Do I? You couldn't trust me with this. I told you everything, all my hopes, dreams and fears, and yet, you couldn't tell me this? This is a big blow, Draco. A very big blow." You turned then at that moment, "Goodbye Draco."
"Harry......wait, please, wait........can't we talk this out?"
"There's nothing to talk about. Good Bye Draco."
I shake my head, trying to clear out the memories of our last goodbye. You moved out shortly after, not
that I can blame you. I kick myself everyday, cursing myself everyday for not telling you right after it
happened. I guess this is what I get, thinking that someone could love Draco Malfoy, the son of Lucius
Malfoy, the son of a Death Eater. I guess that this is what I get. I wish that I could get rid of these
thoughts of you, that I could go on with my life, but I can't. My thoughts of you keep going on.
Hear me crying out to you
You said, "never, never would I leave."
Here's a tear from me to you
And maybe it makes you hear me
I need you, Harry. I need you more than I ever thought I could need another person. You were everything to me. My heart hasn't been the same since you left. I thought that I was incapable of feeling, but you showed me that was wrong. I do have a heart, and you were my heart, my feeling, my everything.
"Dammit," I think as a tear slips down my cheek. I hate you, Harry Potter, I hate you for making me realize I have feelings, that I am capable of loving another human being. I hate you, I hate you. But then again, I love you. Why can't you be here to realize everything I did was for you? I went and became a spy for Dumbledore, I put my life on the line to protect you. I turned against my father, I killed my own father for you. I watched you from afar, but yet, you've never even let me explain myself. Why is it I hate you but I love you at the same time? Why? Why can't I get you out of my system. Maybe the tears I'm crying will somehow reach you. I love you, why can't you love me back? Why?
I loved you
You didn't feel the same
Though were apart
You're in my heart
Give me one more chance to make it real
I loved you with everything that was inside me. You promised me that you would always love me, that nothing would ever tear us apart. And lord knows that we had enough against us to tear us apart. I guess you didn't feel the same. I guess that all the words whispered late into the night didn't mean anything to you. I guess they were all words. What else could explain why you walked out of my life without an explanation. You said that you would love me forever, and that nothing would tear us apart. I guess that it wasn't true.
I've tried to rid myself of you, I'm not going to lie. I've slept with other men, I even slept with your best friend, Ron. It didn't do us any good, and he knew that I was just trying to replace you. He said that if anyone found out he had sex with his old nemesis, people would think he'd gone crazy. I would say the same thing, because I've gone crazy without you. I've slept with more men than I can count, and they haven't made up for you not being here. Your still in my heart, you still own my heart, and that will never change either. I love you, Harry Potter. Even though we've been apart for a long time, your still in my heart, can you please give me one more chance? Is there anyway you will ever come back to me?
In a dream, you are here
You smile and hold me near
And in my heart, I'll pretend
That you are here again
I had a dream that you came to me last night. You were as you were all those months before you walked out of my life, to go fight on the side of the Light. You came to me and held me, all without saying a word. You held me and kissed me and told me that you loved me and then you were gone again, a figment, a dream. I begged you to stay in my dream, but you just smiled and disappeared before I could stop you. I reached for you and you were gone. Why did you leave me, Harry? Why, once again, are you gone, still there, but just beyond my reach? Why can't I reach you?
I keep pretending that I'm fine, that all is right in my world. But its not. I have everything anyone could want out of life. I have money, good looks and friends......but all that means nothing if you don't have the one person who doesn't love you. I love you with everything that is me. My heart is only half. I know I'm not supposed to have feelings. After all, I am a Malfoy, a name I've come to detest. I don't want to be Lucius Malfoy's son.....I don't want to be known as the "Son of a Death Eater," I want to be known as something good. I want to be known as "Draco Malfoy, someone who's done something with his life. He turned out different than anyone ever expected." I want to be yours Harry, if you'll have me.
Hear me crying out to you
You said "Never, never would I leave"
Here's a tear from me to you
And maybe it will make you hear me
I need you Harry. More than I ever thought I would need another person in my life. I always pretended that I hate you, and now, when I should hate you, I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another human being. Funny, hearing those words come out of Draco Malfoy's life. Human being and Draco Malfoy in the same sentence? You promised me forever, and I'll be dammed if I'm not going to hold you to it. You were the one who once told me you never thought you could trust another person after what your Uncle Vernon did to you that one night, so long ago. You said that it shattered your trust in everyone. You said that after Ron, I was the only other male you would ever trust. You said that I was the only person you could ever see yourself with.
I feel the tears running down my cheeks and I sigh, turning over and looking out the window at the night. The moon is so pretty and full tonight and in the distance, I hear a wolf howl, and I wonder if it's Remus. I shake myself and blink, trying to control the tears that are sliding down my cheeks. How could you leave me, goddamn it? How could you make promises you couldn't keep? I understand that you were hurt, but you never let me explain. Goddamn it, you never let me fucking explain what happened that night so long ago. I want to find you, but I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of rejection all over again. Funny, isn't it? I kill my father for you, I go and become a spy for Dumbledore, and yet, its still not going to bring you back to me. When does this pain end, Harry? When will you come back to me? When?
I sit up in my bed, drawing my knees to my chest. I stare out the window and look at the moonlight. "Where are you, Harry?" I wonder out loud. When will you come home where you belong? When will you stop pretending? I have....After I met you, I never was Lucius Malfoy's son, because he was no kind of father to me. I was yours Harry, always and forever. Please hear me Harry, wherever you are, please hear me and come home to me. I hear the doorbell ring and glance at the Muggle clock that is by my bedside and wonder who could be ringing my doorbell at 4:30am. Sighing, I get up to answer it, wondering who it could be.
A/N2: Cliffhanger! Ain't I evil? *smiles evilly* If your nice to the author, the author will respond. *Smiles sweetly* Please read and review. Flames aren't of any importance to me, as I will use them to make marshmallows.