Summary: Oshitari visits Mukahi in the hospital and they talk…
Pairings: Atoji, Dirty
Disclaimer: I don't own PoT
YAY, This is another one of my more depressing stories… have fun!!! Heres a list:
Hyotei Library Session
Bets and Lovers
Book of Stupidity
Fights and Idiots
Book of Stupidity 2
Lost in Tennis
Of Cameras and Attention
Advice from Jirou
The Park and the Church
Help from Jirou
"I brought you some cake." Was the first thing the tensai of Hyoutei said as he entered the room of his doubles partner in the hospital.
"Cake?" Mukahi looked up from a magazine he was currently reading.
"Your favourite, strawberry."
"Thanks!" Mukahi grabbed the cake from Oshitari and examined it.
There was a moment of awkward silence until Oshitari mumbled, "Sorry I couldn't make it last time, there was that violin competition…"
"Yeah I heard." Mukahi sighed and took a bite of the cake to keep his mouth busy.
"So, how's your …"
"It's fine, only hurts when I breathe."
"That's good, I guess…"
"…yeah" Yuushi…why did you say I guess…? Don't you care?
Another moment of awkward silence, what's this? The usually talkative acrobatic player…doesn't have anything to talk about?
"Um, I'm not sure how to say this… but thanks…" The great tensai of Hyoutei was actually tongue-tied.
"Yeah, for jumping in front of me."
They sat together in relatively awkward silence, each thinking their own thoughts.
"Gakuto… Jirou told me…" Oshitari seemed to have found something really interesting outside the window and glued his eyes to it, determined to not look at his doubles partner.
"About…?" Mukahi asked, following Oshitari's eyes out the window and seeing nothing there, he continued to munch on his cake, doing his best to not wince every time he chewed, swallowed, breathed or moved.
"Oh…well… remind me to kill him." Mukahi did a poor attempt at a joke, it didn't work since he sounded more like he was in pain than anything.
"Not advisable… Atobe would kill you." Oshitari was worried for Mukahi. but smiled anyways.
"True…" The redhead moved back to his cake.
"Gakuto, I think we should…give it a try."
"Yuushi…?" Mukahi narrowed his eyes at his doubles partner, he could feel the faint flutter of his heart and it wasn't his wounds this time, no it was Oshitari sitting there with that uncomfortable expression on his face and determined to look anywhere but at him.
"I want you to answer me something."
"LOOK AT ME!" Mukahi shouted.
Oshitari looked, and saw, he saw his doubles partner bent over in obvious pain, his head ducked down low and clutching his stomach. He felt a faint pain in his heart and couldn't distinguish it from his real feelings and pity. He wanted to look away but his eyes were glued to his doubles partner.
"Do you …feel for me…as in…like…m-more than a friend…?" Mukahi stuttered uncharacteristically, afraid of what the answer would be.
"I…" Oshitari finally looked away.
"YUUSHI! I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY! AND YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING! I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY YOU LOVE ME OUT OF PITY! I DIDN'T JUMP IN FRONT OF YOU JUST TO HAVE YOUR PITY, YUUSHI, I DID IT BECAUSE…I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE, JUST GO AWAY!"
"Gakuto…" Oshitari got up in time to see the tears running down Mukahi's face as he turned away from him. "Gakuto…you're crying…"
"My wounds hurt."
"…I know…" Oshitari sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to Mukahi, "It's not that I don't like you…" Oshitari paused, searching for the right words. "I like you, a lot…and …I think you're more important than…tennis…so…Gakuto…"
"…you suck at this Yuushi. This isn't making me feel better!" Mukahi looked at Oshitari with a hurt expression.
"I'm no good at this…"
"I'm sorry, Yuushi." Mukahi snatched his hand away. "It's just…that I kind of envy Jirou and Atobe, it seems so easy for them, why can't it be easy for us?" Oshitari could tell that he was crying again. "Nothing has been simple for us, ya know..."
"Gakuto, things like this shouldn't bother us… it's… it can be exhilarating."
"But I…" Mukahi side glanced at Oshitari, and then looked back at the sheets.
"I have to go," Oshitari looked at his watch and got up to head towards the door. "I'll see you later…"
"…Yuushi!" Mukahi grabbed Oshitari around the legs, trying to stop him.
"Gakuto," As soon as Oshitari turned around, Mukahi jumped into his arms.
"Gakuto, stop crying."
"I'm not crying!"
"Then why is my shoulder wet?"
"Must be the rain."
"Gakuto…" Oshitari sighed, and looked back at his doubles partner, "Maybe…if you were more honest with yourself, others will be more honest with you."
"I'm not honest, you know that…I'm not smart, I'm not cute, I can't do anything right, and now I'll fail my classes even more… things just don't come easily for me, ya know."
"No. you're incredibly smart, cute, …I guess I'm trying to say that the Gakuto I know wouldn't shrink from those challenges."
"Stop it!" Mukahi playfully punched Oshitari.
"We'll start over, everything… from the beginning."
"Together." Mukahi added.
"Together." Oshitari agreed.
A/N: not my best fic but…meh, its not too angsty but...yeah. There concludes the whole ongoing dirty pair drama. I was proof reading this and listening to Moonlight Sonata (1st Movement) so it kinda got me in the mood for tragic stuff. Anyways, I know they're a bit OOC but it's very hard to write IC angst of this kind… I mean it's Gakuto and Yuushi… maybe I should've listened to Confutatis Maledictis again while writing this…anyways, excuse mistakes if i make any, i reread this late into the night... i need sleep.