It Must Suck

click, click, click.

"You know, I just noticed that our lives.. kind of suck."

Haru paused in his typing to glance at the orange-headed boy beside him. Eyebrow raised, fingers poised above the keys, he let a small smirk make its way onto his otherwise emotionless features.

"You just noticed?" He finally drew out.

He was answered with a stern look, before crimson eyes became downcast, and orange eyebrows were set in a concentrated knot. The tapping of Haru's laptop keys filled the air moments later.

click, click, click.

"Actually, life sucks some serious balls."

Once again, the room was quiet, pale fingers frozen above the light gray buttons before him.

"..Serious balls?"


"Yes, serious balls!" His partner shrieked. "I mean, we're two cursed, gay teenage boys who can't even tell anyone about their relationship because of their stupid 'family leader'! I mean, who do you know who's life sucks more ass than that?"

The short clicking resumed, as Haru decided this talk wasn't worth losing points on his science paper for being late.

"So life sucks ass now?"

click, click, click.


The cat rose from his laying position beside his boyfriend. The bed squeaked slightly, mingling momentarily with the clicks of the ox's keyboard. He stood, making sure to send his lover the infamous 'you-are-so-not-getting-any-nookie-tonight' look, and making his way downstairs.

click, click.

Haru couldn't help but be proud of himself. 'The Theory of Matter', his paper read in big, black letters. It had taken him hours to find the right information, and this being the only project he'd ever cared to do, it was pretty damn good. He skimmed through the paper, completely pleased, until he saw the words that made his heart stop, anger and complete exhaustion filling the pit of his stomach.

'As said by Anthony Carpi, Ph.D, "Bernoulli, Dalton, and other pictured atoms are tiny-

life sucks serious ass.

holy. freaking. shit.

He slammed his laptop closed, groaning helplessly as he did so. Maybe the cat was right? At that very moment, the older boy's words made complete sense. Life didn't only suck ass and balls, it also sucked everything that one could suck, then, after it sucked you dry of everything, it bent you over and fucked you right in the ass.

"Is something wrong?" A familiar voice asked from the doorway.

He rolled his eyes, not caring to raise his head.

"Your stupid rant about 'life sucking' made me mess up my paper."

Kyo just blinked, making his way across the room. He flopped carelessly onto the bed, opening the laptop and skimming through his boyfriend's files.

"Couldn't you just fix it?" He spoke slowly. "I mean, you only messed up one line. Just take it out."

Of course.

No wonder he loved his kitten so much, the boy wasn't a complete dumbass, unlike himself.

"You know," Kyo began.

click, click, click.

"Life isn't the only thing that can suck your balls."

click, click, click.

and Haru's laughter filled the air.

"But don't you only suck serious balls?" The black-and-white haired boy asked slyly.

click, click.

and more laughter.

"Nah," The cat paused, closing the small computer and setting it to the side. "I think your's will do."


Life may have sucked, but as soon Haru concluded, Kyo sucked much harder.


I've lost my luster when it comes to humor, unless you count the many sexual innuendos I tend to make during almost every bland and pathetic excuse for a humor story I've ever written.

This is for Crystaline-Crimson and Overlord Crazyjane XIII who I upset with my former story, 'It Doesn't Do To Dwell On Dreams' (shameless advertising).

and I'd also like to apologise for never answering reviews.

I'm always wondering what I'm supposed to say, and my chronic procrastination problem causes me to put off the reviews I actually can answer.

I'm such a douche bag.