優しい両手十一

The Aftermath of Sake

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Bloody blasted great mist ears, I should have prompted to using an earplug.

"Itachi, next time you'll have a go with your woman, make sure to remind me to plug my ears," I mumbled, the sake that I've drunk already working its aftermath.

Finding the storage of the Uchiha's was quite easy, and I've drunk enough for ten people, and the aftermath is just as worse. To make matters worse, pinky, just have to yell so early in the morning.

Sigh.

"If you're thinking its morning, fish-chan, guess again un." Deidara just have to ruin my fantasy of waking early in the morning, not that he has any need to drown sake like I do. Che.

"Don't be grumpy fish-chan; I'm sure everything will be alright-

"Right. Do you mind leaving me alone Deidara? Why don't you bother Itachi, who knows how far he'd gotten with pinky already; I don't know about you, but pinky wearing Itachi's clothes could be a possible turn on."

"Wipe that grin un. I don't think Sakura-chan changing her wardrobe to Itachi's clothes would affect Itachi at all. Nothing fazes Itachi, at least he looks like nothing fazes him un."

"If you keep nodding like a broken kodama, I'll hit you hard enough that you'll regret doing it. Who knows maybe the great Itachi has a weak spot for pinky"

"Un." Deidara stopped nodding finally and looked at me seriously. Never mess with Kisame in the morning, not with a humungous hang over.

"So how did it go with the Hokage?" I asked him, I had a vague idea what the conversation consisted of, but it never hurts to know how much a comrade knows. That and Itachi wouldn't care much to informed me anything that's going on. He doesn't waste energy on words and explanations.

"The usual briefing, but it looks like we have to take things seriously, and stay lay low for a long time, un."

"Not like there's anything we could do about it." I snorted at the idea of hiding like cornered mouse, but at least we still get to keep the usual kind of missions we do.

"…" Judging by Deidara's lack of respond he's not looking forward for it himself.

"Deidara, don't you find it odd that we're suddenly Konoha ninja's now, and no longer rouge ninja's."

"Don't really see what's wrong with it. It's not like Akatsuki members are just going to rise from the dead one by one, un."

"Ah, but leader is still out there, wherever he is, he's not going to like that we three betrayed Akatsuki."

"Either way it's a lose lose situation un. Konoha save our hides, so we owe them a debt of loyalty."

"Itachi seem to have this in mind, does it not bother you, Deidara?"

"If you're testing if I'll remain loyal to this three man team we're suddenly put into Kisame, there's no need. I'm in this too, all the way, so there's no need to see if I have doubts with Itachi's decision un. Though it will be hard to try and blend in Konohagakure, we'll just have to make do, un." He smiled cheerfully.

Only Deidara could smile in times of dire situation. Not that I don't do it myself, but I enjoy a thrill in a fight, and that Gai freak, is one thrill I could drill anytime with Sadahame.

It doesn't faze me that Deidara figured out that I was pretending to have a doubt with Itachi's decision, to fish out if Deidara has one. For a blond he's not that stupid. Heck the only stupid enough in Akatsuki is that twit, Tobi. Deidara would agree with me whole heartedly too.


"So Kisame, is leaving Sakura-chan in Itachi's mercy, a good idea?" He look worried, I couldn't help but flash a grinned.

"If you're that worried Mommy Dei Dei, then why not check on them yourself?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, fish-chan, who bleed to death and made me mom of this dust infested blast of a house, un."

"What, you don't like your new title Deidara? I thought it suited you nicely."

"Stop grinning, marinade shark face, I'm sure having you for supper would sound quite a cuisine, with my explosive clay as cream un."

"Now wouldn't you love that, Mommy Dei Dei, you're planning supper already, as long as you include a jar of sake, I have no objection with tonight's dinner."

"Shark-face, are you draft, you-are-the-dinner, or what will be left of it, after my clay have feasted on your contaminated skin first, un."

"Are you two done bickering like an old married couple?"

"Sakura-chan, Ohayou, un" Deidara quickly change the topic when pinky decided to just enter the scene, and remind us that we were bickering. Just what I needed. Deidara looked a bit uncomfortable with Sakura presence; he probably saw Itachi and Sakura together this morning. It's a shame I didn't get to see some actions, but if that scream is any indication that anything happen, I bet I didn't miss much.

"Pinky," I greeted and fall back, I wanted to tell her to stop worrying about Deidara and me bickering, because we're not getting married, she is. I doubt she'll have that many arguments with Itachi; he's just not the type to take any crap from anyone. But still, she is still marrying the extremely vague man of our little group.

"Nice outfit," I grunted, she was wearing Uchiha clothes; Itachi's most likely. But only Itachi could answer that question.

"Where's Itachi-san Sakura-chan?"

"He…well…I really have no clue where he went." She answered glaring at Deidara. Deidara looked at the floor, probably wishing for the floor to swallow him whole, HA hah.

"Shouldn't you be keeping tabs on him, pinky, you never know, he might be cheating on you." I taunted, I know for size that Itachi is no womanizer, despite his looks he was never interested in any woman; with the exception of rare cases, but otherwise the man keeps to himself all the time.

That's probably one of the reasons why we work so well as partners, since women hardly enters the scene. Not that they would like to hang around with me around, and Itachi would only grunt and ignore they're existence anyways.

Pinky was blushing madly. Madly was probably an understatement though, her face was glowing red, embarrassment maybe, or it could be jealousy, but I already ruled that one out, seeing as she doesn't have any intimate feelings for Itachi at all.

She didn't retorted or anything, all she did was walk away.

"Look what you did, Kisame, you struck a nerve, un."

Struck a nerve huh, she's so easy to tease, and her buttons aren't exactly well hidden either.


"SAKURAAAA-CHAAAAAAAN." The loud voice of the kyuubi vessel rung in our ears, does that fox brat know not to yell so much in the morning.

"Naruto-kun's voice is as annoying as that insufferable Tobi, un." Deidara grunted, and made his way to get the door, mumbling about Tobi this and Tobi that. Deidara, you never did like Tobi that much. It's not like we know if that fool made it out alive or not. Which is most likely not, that baka, he can't even handle a pot of boiling hot water even if Leader barked at him to do it.

"Deidara, I got this one, I got a bone to pick with the kyuubi." I told him, Deidara gave an amuse glint in his eye, he probably caught my maniacal grinned. Here I go kyuubi.

"Don't you mean you got a flesh to bite, Kisame, un." I shrugged at him, and hurried my bottom to the door and greet Mr. Bubbly Sunshine.

I opened the door. There stood the kyuubi boy, in all his glory with the same outfit of black and orange.

I felt Pinky's chakra rushing madly to get the door. Probably trying to avoid a conflict with kyuubi boy and us ex-akatsuki members.

Not that it matters much Pinky-chan, besides the one they want to pick a fight with, is not even around. Itachi must be taking care of business like always.

"Fox-grinning loud mouth," I greeted the kyuubi boy.

"Oi, its fish skin, is Sakura here yet? I went to her apartment and she wasn't there," great, now what, of course she's here, this is her home now, kyuubi. But he sure gave me an idea of pissing him off back. BWA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH.

"She's here, but I'd have to ask Itachi if she's awake or not," take that kyuubi.

Or not. Who knew that the kyuubi boy is this dense?

He looked like he was thinking what I meant by it; but before he could even draw any conclusions Pinky decided to ruin it.

And I left her sight before she could start glaring daggers at me, their not enough to make me flinch, but I don't think I could take a screaming feast at the moment. Retreat.


"I guess we have a lot of things to work on with Sakura-chan, un. We can't have her running wild like the kyuubi host, who strikes first, talk later, especially when irritated un."

"Work?" I asked Deidara, I already know that Itachi wanted to protect pinky from something, I already gathered that it was connected with those guys that gang up on us and took us out. Granted that they didn't really defeat me, or Itachi, but we sure as hell were outnumbered.

"Un, work. Itachi-san wants Sakura in safe hands, and who else to guard her, but the ones that those crazy cheating little organization, thinks didn't live to see the next day un. Besides, we're going to be working on assassination assignments, Konoha won't see our shadows at all, only that people know we're here, but that's about to change too, the less they hear from our group the more they'll think that the hokage was just making things up to scare Konoha's enemies un."

"Where does marriage life fit in to this entire schedule?" I just had to ask the most ridiculous question there is.

"It practically doesn't, at least not until all threats have lay low, un. At any rate, it's Itachi's life not ours. And since the village has to see us less, as much as possible, we don't get to have romance in our miserable lives fish-face, un." He looked a bit disappointed, then again I was too.

Right, and the moon had decided to collide with the sun, literally, Deidara may not have any trouble attracting girls, but I sure heck do. If it wasn't for this stupid shark face and blue skin, I'd probably attract girls like no tomorrow, chikkuso.

I felt a hand patting my shoulders. Deidara must have felt a bit of sympathy. "Guess we're going to be single for a long time, un."

You can say that again. "At least we get to torture pinky."

"Un, Sakura-chan is loads of fun to tease, but I won't try to get at her bad side Kisame, she did manage to defeat Sasori-danna."

"With the help of an old hag." I added.

"Right. But it doesn't change that she has the potential to grow stronger. She is the apprentice of the hokage un."

"What happens to her tutelage with the Hokage?"

"All will stop, the Hokage said that Sakura is on her own now, and it will be much better if she gets less publicity un."

True. The less the land hears about Pinky's healing abilities the better.

"So now it's up to us to make a shinobi out of Sakura-chan, we'll have to teach her to be just like us, the faster we do that, the better, but we don't exactly have all the time in the world to train her either, she has to be anbu worthy at least by the end of three months, un."

"Great, we have tons of work to do then. Has Itachi talk about the arrangement of what each of us will teach?" Deidara shook his head sideways, che, Itachi didn't even bother to talk about who will teach what. How typical.

"But base on what we're good at, don't you think it's self explanatory already, fish-chan, un?" He grinned.

Right. I train her in taijutsu and sword arts. Deidara in ninjutsu. Itachi would hone the rest.

I grinned back.

"Oh PINKY-CHAN!"

"What!" Sakura appeared when I yelled her name. She sound grouchy, must have been the aftermath of being wake up by Itachi, sleeping late, cleaning loads of stuff, and not having her own clothes to wear.

"Tomorrow you wake up at dawn," I give her one of my maniacal grins and snicker to myself.

"Why? If you haven't notice, we're not done cleaning here, which reminds me, buckets Kisame, and scrub the dojo's floor." She handed me the bucket and a cloth. Great. You'll pay for that, pinky.

She left afterwards, she must have been busy cleaning that she didn't notice that Deidara and I haven't been doing anything for the past hour or so. She didn't even bother why I ask her to wake up at dawn.

The repercussions of drinking too much sake hasn't completely left my systems yet, but I suppose a match at this moment isn't really a bad idea.

"Pinky chan, forget waking up at dawn, I'll just make sure you don't wake up tomorrow at all," I mumbled to myself.

And when you speak the name of the she-devil, she just has to appear.

"Kisame, move, get to work." She glared at me angrily. She sure holds grudges.

"Tell you what pinky, you, me, spar, right now."

"Wipe that stupid grin, and no, we don't have time to spar, if you haven't notice we still have a whole compound to clean, plus a few rooms here too, not to mention-

"I get it already"

"If you do, then quit mentioning sparring, since we have no time for it."

"Oh but you will."

"Will not."

"I'll make you a deal pinky, if you manage to launch one good punch at me; I'll clean the rest of this dust forsaken house, and will help your friends clean the rest of the compound."

She appeared to be thinking of the deal. She would have to be a fool to refuse it.

"What's in it for you, Kisame?" She asks, I guess she is clever at least.

"A good spar, that's all," besides I have to do it in the following days anyways, why don't we start early pinky.

"Oh sure, and you'll really clean the rest of the compound by yourself," she snorted. I suppose she doesn't believe me.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, he would do it, as witness to what he said, I'll make sure he does," Deidara had this stupid grinned on his face, I really want to wipe it off with a good beating but I still have a pinky pest to have a spar with. Revenge is sweet, only when it comes from your own hands. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"Fine, let's take this outside," Sakura finally agreed, thank whoever gives a damn that she agreed. Though Itachi would correct her about accepting challenges soon enough. Itachi's problem, not mines.


When we got in the clearing, Pinky put her black gloves on, and took on a fighting stands. Her short pink hair blowing against the wind, that large Uchiha shirt was too big for her, it looks like a dress not a shirt in her figure, that wide turtle collar was folded down so it doesn't cover her whole face.

'Well at least the pants fit, Kisame' damn consciousness for even thinking that. Does it even fit her? I wonder.

"Oi, Shark-chan, are you done checking what you made me wear yesterday? I want to pound your face so hard that you'll wish you didn't come out of the seas, Sharky." Now that is rich, at least she could insult someone, I totally want her to insult beaver face, that slimy earth user; he knock me a couple of good punches enough to let me see the next day. I'll get him back. No way in hell I'll let that slimy beaver and his organization catch a strand of Pinky's pink bright hair.

"Ready when you are, Pinky"

The girl is no pushover, but she can throw a decent punch, too bad she can't land one on my person. At least she's not hopeless, lacking in experience maybe, but ex-Akatsuki will fix that for her.

So far I've been fair to her, letting her punch and I would either dodge or block, I think it's high time I show Pinky that she can't rely on taijutsu alone or chakra punch, they hurt like hell though, but still, relying too much in the same technique is too predictable.

Maybe I'm being too lenient, but it's time to add jutsu in training. I jumped back a bit, giving some distance between pinky and myself, and ready my self to do some simple hand signals for a simple water jutsu.

"Kisame," Itachi's cold voice stopped me from finishing the jutsu, he was behind me, I didn't feel him even getting there, must be from all the excitement of showing off to Pinky-chan.

And before I could even react, I was flying away, my left cheek hurts like hell. Her chakra punch sure knows where to hit a spot, now the girls won't come near me ever. I need to grab a steak; my cheek is going to swell for a few days.

"You okay, Kisame?" Deidara asked, he come to my side, and was still starring at Sakura in awe.

"What do you think Deidara?" I grinned and wipe the blood seeping off my lips.

"Sakura-chan, don't worry Kisame is alright, un." He nodded after he yelled at Sakura who was busy glaring at Itachi. Probably angry that he stopped me midway from performing a jutsu.

And just how he suddenly appeared behind me, he was now behind Sakura, Sakura must have felt his chakra, since she block Itachi's arm from attacking her with the same arm Itachi was aiming for.

"Still think that my awareness sucks," she spat fumingly. Deidara had the same look as I have, confusion, whatever happen this morning, probably includes Itachi insulting pinky's skills.

"Hn." Itachi replied. Deidara must be thinking how cryptically Itachi's retort was, not that I blame him. I don't get what he's saying half the time I'm around him.

"Do all Uchiha's lack vocabulary to respond properly?" Yep, Pinky's mad. Fuming magma rate mad. Whatever Itachi said to her this morning and what happen earlier must be adding more fuel to her anger. Not a good sign and she's not even laid with Itachi's child yet.

If this is her rage, I don't want to get caught in messy hormones attack.

"There's no reason to reply," Itachi respond, "however, you shouldn't loose control of your emotions, raged would only cause you your life."

Before we could even blink, Itachi had Sakura pin on a tree with just his body. "You can't afford to even let your guard down when there is an enemy on sight; or even to carelessly doubt the enemy won't do anything just because you block the first assault."

Pinky-chan went from angry to shock, but nonetheless, she seemed to be listening to Itachi intently, the only indication that she had been listening is her small nod, after Itachi spoke.

Itachi withdraw and went back in the Uchiha house, leaving me and Deidara to look after Pinky.

"Sakura-chan, are you alright, un?" Deidara asked looking concerned.

"I…I…" She started she couldn't find the right words to come out of her mouth.

"It's alright, Sakura-chan, Itachi, was just teaching you a lesson that's all un." Deidara was about to put a hand at her shoulders to comfort her, when all hell broke loose.

We no longer have the brave and fury Pinky chan, instead we have a little girl who's lost and needed guidance, and more importantly answers.

"I better help Naruto and the others," Pinky iggy Deidara, now that is funny, except she didn't meant it that way, but brushing that aside, who knows what's running in her head, or Itachi's.

A situation where I can't grin or just drank sake and have a normal hangover.

If this is going to be an everyday occurrence, I better learn some medical jutsu to cure hangovers.