written by: ohwhatsherface


And so, after years of practicing with a pillow, Naruto got his wish.

He, Naruto Uzumaki, just kissed his crush, Sakura Haruno.

And it sucked.

Naruto moved his head back and couldn't help but frown.

Sakura did the exact same thing.



"That was…"

"It didn't…"

"It'd never…"

"Just no."

Naruto felt his lips—the ones that had just been on hers—pull upwards into a small, pathetic smile. "You know, Sakura-chan, I've been picturing this moment ever since I met you."

"And this was nothing like your little fantasy, now was it?" she asked, leaning back on the bench they were sitting on, staring up at the night sky.

"Hell no."

He snorted.

"My fantasy was actually… fantastic, you know?"

"No, I don't know."


"And I don't want to know."

She sighed.

"So have you learned your lesson?"

"There was a lesson in that?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "What I mean is have you realized that the whole 'couple' thing you're trying to turn the two of us into is just pointless and dumb and…" She pursed her lips to find the right word. "Sparkless…"



"That's not a word."

"That's not the point." Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. "And you of all people are not allowed to correct my grammar."



Naruto sighed. "Sakura-chan, you're right, me and you as a couple is weird…" He frowned. "I can't see myself kissing you in a romantic way ever again."

"That was really rude…"

"It's like… Like kissing Iruka-sensei, or Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto reasoned.

His face looked disgusted.

"Or Tsunade-baachan!"

The armrest on the bench cracked.

"Excuse me?"

Naruto sensed danger. "Wh—What I mean is that it was like kissing family! You don't kiss family like that!"

He gagged.

"That's nasty!"

He shuddered.

"That's like incest!"

"Okay just shut up."