Summary: Will, James Norrington, Jack, and Kelly... armed and dangerous. Rated K because of the handling of guns, and Jack's choice of language. (e.i.: "Oh, bugger.")
A/N: This story takes place as if Terry and Ted never filmed, or ever planned to film, a second and third "Pirates of the Caribbean". The main character has no knowledge of other events that took place in the Pirates' world, because in her time, despite the year being 2007, Terry and Ted left the Pirates' story at how they left it in "Curse of the Black Pearl". Therefore whatever happened to the characters afterwards that may be mentioned in this story are of my own creation, or left to the reader to decide.
I would like to thank my father for helping me figure out some of the lines. I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I did writing it.
Beta: Tira Archer
This is not a marysue (if indeed such a thing exists in the PotC fandom, for I do not know).
Shouts of laughter and yelping could be heard all around as a group of four raced around the small yard of the home that sits near the border of Benbrook and Fort Worth. It was secluded enough that no one would pay much attention to the group, but surrounded still by several houses and a school so that one didn't feel closed off from the world.
Cold water pelted Kelly's face and neck making her shriek in surprise as she squinted through the spray at her attacker. He grinned at her, golden teeth catching the sunlight, as she scowled at him, then he began to get ready to shoot her again. Bringing up her own weapon she shot at him as she took off away from another attacker, who also was intent upon soaking her.
Once her newest attacker had used his ammo, she aimed the gun and shot him, causing him to stop and raise his hand to block the stream of water from getting in his eyes.
"Ha!" She shouted at Norrington, then turned and shot another approaching figure. Moving her gun up and down she watched carefully how she was using her ammo, making sure none was wasted - so as to prevent using it up to quickly.
Suddenly she was hit with three different sprays at once, and it was all she could do to just see as she fired her own water gun back at her opponents. A sharp sting hit her leg making her jump instinctively, leaving her for a moment on one foot.
"Hey! That is not fair! You guys can't gang up on me like that!" She glared at the one that had thrown the water balloon: Will.
"But it would appear that we are, so therefore we can; and your statement is inaccurate, because it can very obviously be done; otherwise we would not be able to do what we are doing." Jack grinned slyly, pumping the water gun handle.
"No, no, n--ack!" She yelped when Jack shot her again. "Argh! That is it!!" She struck out at them with a flurry, but soon all of them were just standing there with empty guns. Jack was staring oddly at his and shaking it, trying to get more water to come out.
"Refill time?" It came out more of a statement than a question, so no one answered; but silently walked toward the hose.
"Remember what I told you? No one shoots while the others are filling the guns." Kelly turned the switch on the spray attachment and filled her gun. "James, please give me your gun and I will refill it."
"How am I to know that you won't shoot me with it?" He challenged.
"Because, I am not a cheat, nor a pirate. He" -she waved her hand at Jack, who was still staring at the empty gun and didn't see the gesture- "is the one we should not be trusting."
"She has a point," Will commented, handing her his own gun when she reached for it.
"Should not be trusting who?" Jack looked up. When he saw her refilling Will's gun and then James' he questioned, "Why do I have to go last?"
"Because, Jack Sparrow--"
"Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow!"
"--you can not be trusted," She continued as if he had not said anything, "I am pretty darn sure that it is in your pirate nature to cheat, and shoot us before we were done getting reloaded; and you confirmed that when you didn't seem to honestly agree when I presented the few rules. Now if you were more like Will, you could go first."
"Bugg'er..." Jack grumbled, as she took the weapon from his hands. He was still muttering something when she returned it to him.
"Now if we are all done?" Without another word the fight began again. About another minute had passed before she realised that they had ganged up on her once more.
"I told you - you're not supposed to gang up on me!"
"Not supposed to, but we are," Jack answered evenly.
"But what happened to the every man for himself philosophy?" She lowered her weapon.
"That would only apply if we are all men; which I'm not saying that we're not. Unless, of course, we're including you; which I am not saying that we are; but if we were, that would be the end of it."
They all exchanged puzzled expressions, then Kelly scowled. "Jack, you didn't answer the question."
"Didn't I?" He sounded confused, surprised, and his facial expression was one of innocence.
"No, you did not," James replied.
"I am just as much asking you" -she rounded on James and Will- "as I am him." She raised her eyebrows in question.
"Can't rightly say that I know, Miss Kelly." Will shrugged.
"Going all proper and addressing me like that isn't going to win you brownie points." But despite the statement she smiled slightly. "Now I want to know! What happened to the--"
"Enough! No more parley-or-ler-lering, parley-ee-ering, parley- parleyuring..." Jack frowned at the ground in confusion as he sought the right word. Suddenly he looked up and waved his hands saying, "No more talking! Fire at will!" He paused, and realising what it sounded like - and the look Will gave him - he amended, "I mean, when you want to!"
Kelly brought back up her gun again as they began to fire once more. But when it became obvious they had no intention of stopping their combined attacks, she dropped her gun and grabbed the hose. Quickly turning the switch on the handle, she sprayed the attacking boys with gusts of water from the high-spraying-jets. They began to retreat from her greater power.
"You can't be using the hose! You are ignoring the rules of engagement," A thoroughly soaked Jack shouted.
"Why does that sound so familiar? Oh wait, that's because Will said something just like that once. Well, the only rules that really matter are these: What a man can do and what a man can't do."
"Exactly! You aren't a man, therefore you can't do what you are doing!" Jack waved his hand and nodded sagely.
"I was meaning a human being in general, but if you would prefer that I change it to woman, which I considered doing, then I will. But no matter what, you still know what I mean. I guess I shall just have to be very specific when I talk to you, which would become very boring, so I guess I will not be talking to you anymore. Have fun talking to yourself, captain-sassy-pants." There was mocking emphasis on the 'captain' title.
Someone snickered. "No more talking," Kelly mimicked. "Back to the fight!"
The shouts of protests and glee once again filled the yard. To the one sitting on the porch watching them the entire situation was extremely comical. Elizabeth laughed and cheered them on from the shade of the porch, and life in the yard continued as it had for the past half an hour.
Will decided that he had had enough of fighting with James and Jack and joined Kelly on her side of the water fight.
"What are you doing?" Kelly looked into the man's dripping face, his hair and clothes sticking to him in places, and couldn't help but laugh.
"Joining the winning team?" Will offered.
"I am afraid that I have let you guys watch too many movies, for somehow that sounds like a Winnie-the-Pooh line. But then again that could just be due to the hyper mood I am in," She replied amidst her other battle shouts. Will just grinned and focused his attention on the fight once more.
Things fell into a routine: Will and Kelly fought the other two, and Jack and James struggled to fight the losing battle; only stopping to get refills. After several more rounds - the rounds being counted by the breaks for fuel - James decided to change tactics and joined Will and Kelly; leaving Jack to fight alone.
Jack refused to admit defeat and continued to combat them.
"Jack, you just need to give up! Before we obliterate you!!" Kelly grinned. "You can't beat us."
"One can always hope!" Jack put in lamely after several silent seconds.
"You can't win," Kelly muttered. "We shall have to make him admit defeat."
"What do you have in mind?" Will asked.
"You and James try and catch him, when you do then I will pelt him up close with the water."
"You think this will work?" James raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe. If you do it correctly," Kelly shot back.
Will snickered, "I don't think she likes it when you ask such questions."
"Now, boys, shush and go get that pirate!"
They frowned at being referred to as such, but took off around the house in the opposite direction of where Jack was. Kelly stopped her attacking and turned her back to pirate.
"I don't see why you continue to fight, Jack." Kelly sighed when she felt the water hit her back. She ignored him, and waited for some indication that Will and James had succeeded. She just stood there being a diversion.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Jack shouted.
Kelly turned in time to see Will and James struggling to get a firm hold on Jack.
"Let go! You lot are cheating!"
"We are not cheating, Jack. We are abiding by the rules...the pirate rules," Will answered.
Jack struggled for a second longer, but when he realized it was hopeless, they just had too great of a hold on him, he ceased moving and looked at them. "Care to explain what is going on, lass?" He asked Kelly.
"Making you surrender," She replied, spraying the water at him.
"Hey, hey! Stop that!" Jack struggled to get his face away from the high-power sprayer; which can be extremely uncomfortable when at close range.
"What's that? You surrender?" James asked.
"Alright then." Kelly continued to spray him.
"Alright! Alright! You win," Jack yelled.
The winners grinned at each other and then let their captive go. Settling on the grass in the sunshine they began to let themselves dry.
"That was quite an interesting fight," Elizabeth commented, sitting down next to Will..
"Next time, you should join us." Will wrapped a wet arm around her shoulders.
Elizabeth grinned. "Maybe I will."
They sat in silence for several minutes. "That was fun," Kelly sighed.
"What are we going to do now?" James asked.
Kelly looked at him, thinking. She smiled slyly. "Who's up for a game of poker?"
A/N: When I had posted this at a different place, everyone there said that I should write another part. So there shall be another part, but instead of a second chapter it will be a sequel; look for it coming soon, it will be titled: Poker Games and Tickling Matches. It would have been finished by now except that I...don't know how to play poker. Surprise, surprise! And how can I write about a poker game if I don't know how one plays it. Don't worry though, it will be here soon. Just got to talk with some family members that DO know how to play it.