Amusement at the Park
The Dursleys take Dudley and his friends to an amusement park for his birthday and they meet a giant someone.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize isn't mine.

Written for a prompt in the 30minutefics community over on livejournal. The prompt was "One HP character is spending the day in a completely unfamiliar place. Is it a Pureblood in the Muggle world? A character on holiday? Someone visiting a distant relative? Who's involved and what happens is all up to you."

Enjoy, and please leave a review!

If there was one thing that Vernon Dursley absolutely hated, it was the amusement park. All sorts of characters lurked there, the kinds one wouldn't meet at Privet Drive. But it was Dudley's birthday, and he knew that being a good father to his son was really all that mattered.

The day had started out fine, really. He had picked up Dudley's friends; Piers, Dudley, Malcolm and Gordon had squished in the backseat, and he had driven them to the nearest amusement park. (Harry was left locked inside his room.) He filled each of their pockets with an alarming number of tickets for the rides and games, and he and Petunia took shade under a shaved ice stand while the four friends galloped off into the park.

The four had a gallant time in the park; they tossed rings and rice sacks and climbed on the counter when the judge wasn't looking; they won little orange fish and took them out of the bag to watch them flip around on the pavement before being squished by a passerby; and they rented a wheelchair and wheeled Gordon around for half the day, cutting the queues for the lines.

It was turning out to be the perfect birthday for Dudley Dursley. That is, until they were caught cutting the queue for the Ferris Wheel. It was stupid, really, once Dudley had taken a lengthy period of time to consider; he didn't even really like Ferris Wheels. Carousels were worse, of course, but Gordon had whined, saying he'd wanted to ride it since he was stuck in the wheelchair for the entire day. Dudley, though he considered punching Gordon in the face (he was sick of his whines about the wheelchair bumping around on the grass and cobblestones) thought it would be better to stick to the promise he made to his father; to have a birthday where he hadn't knocked one of his friends out cold.

A grumpy old man wearing stripes had caught them. Gordon's broken leg disguise (made of cut up toilet paper rolls from the loo) had failed them. The old man, while brandishing his finger, had just finished telling them to turn around, return the wheelchair, get back on the queue and wait like any visitor to the amusement park, when Dudley saw him; huge, looming, hairy, and much more frighteningly powerful than the little twig of an old man, who was still yelling without much effect.

"Bloody hell, Big D— is that the biggest man you've ever seen in your life?" Malcolm's high pitched voice rang out through the crowd, and the enormous man turned. His beard and hair merged at his cheekbones, and his black eyes crinkled at Dudley and his friends. Dudley could just see the handle of a pink umbrella poking out of the blanket-sized pocket on his coat. The man's eyebrows narrowed.

"I bet you could take him down, Big-D!" Gordon squeaked from the wheelchair. Dudley's mouth dropped open. There, next to the enormous man was an enormous woman.

"Havin' a good time, Duds?" the mammoth man said with a grin as he handed his ticket to the old man who had finally stopped shouting.

"D'you know him?" Piers asked, in wonder.

"No!" Dudley said quickly. "Never seen the great thing before in my life!"

"Then how does he know your name?" Gordon asked.


"See yeh haven't changed a bit," the man said. "Still as much of a swine as yeh always were. Only this time, it's bein' a pig about cuttin' the queues. Get outta line or I'll be telling a—" His face creased as he thought for a moment. "A tail to Harry about yeh. An' we know how powerful Harry is, don' we?" His sausage-like fingers traveled to the handle of the umbrella and lingered there for a moment before entering the metal gate with the enormous woman and taking a seat in the Ferris Wheel car.

Dudley stared, unblinkingly, as they sat down in the car, which had sank quite a few meters downward from their weight. He realized his hand had moved involuntarily to his backside.

"You do know him!" Gordon said triumphantly.

Dudley waited for his friends to throw insults his way, to take the mickey out of him for being made fun of by an enormous giant that knew his name and knew Harry. To ask why he had emphasized the word tail, why he was gripping his backside as if it might fall off if he let go.


"Cool!" Malcolm said.

"Yeah, no wonder you're such a great fighter, Big D. I bet he taught you a ton of moves, eh?" Piers said, grinning.

Dudley looked astonished, and let go of his backside. It didn't fall off.

"I— Well, yeah!" Dudley said quickly.

"I reckon he knew about how much of a weakling Harry was," Gordon said. "Calling him powerful and all?"

Dudley turned to look Gordon in the eye. "Yeah, definitely." He turned to his wristwatch. "Come on, we should be meeting my parents now." He grabbed the back of Gordon's wheelchair and began wheeling him down the ramp.

A piece of flesh-colored string began to move backwards away from them as they moved down the ramp.

"Ruddy idiot," the enormous man said from the Ferris Wheel as he reeled in the string. It began to move upwards, creaking louder than ever.

"Hagrid, wuz zat ze cuzzin of Harry?"

"Yeh, as stupid as he is fat," Hagrid said, as the Ferris Wheel car inched upward, slower than it normally did.

"He wuz very fat," the woman said, "I am surprised, Harry never looks as eef he has enuff to eat. You will make him some rock cakes for me when he goes back to school?"

"'Course, Olympia," Hagrid said. He pulled the umbrella out of his pocket and pointed it out the window of the car. "Reckon I could hit him up here with a spell?" They had reached the top of the Ferris Wheel and were lingering there to pick up more passengers. The metal holding their car up was creaking and their car was slowly moving downward. "Fer bein' a ruddy lump an' fer lettin' his friends there think he was cool for knowin' me?"

"You would do better with zis," Olympia said, removing her own wand from her pocket. "Did you say you gave him a pig tail ze last time?" Hagrid nodded.

"How about ze tail of a skunk?" Olympia said, pointing her wand out the window.

From the ground, Dudley felt a sharp pinch on his bottom, and he craned his neck to look behind him. There, fluttering in the wind was a luxurious black and white tail poking out of the top of his trousers. His hand immediately flew his backside, determinedly pushing the tail downward into them.

After dropping off the wheelchair where they had rented it, they made their way to the shaved ice stand where they'd promised to meet Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, Dudley attempting not to whimper all the way there.

"Mr. Dursley," Piers said excitedly, "Do you know the giant man we saw riding the Ferris Wheel? He knew Dudley and he said he knew Harry too!"

"He was so cool!" Gordon said.

Vernon Dursley's eyes narrowed and Petunia looked around nervously. At the same moment, their eyes found the Ferris Wheel, which, instead of looking circular, was looking distinctly heart-shaped. His eyes found Dudley, whose face was pink. Vernon could see a tuft of black and white fur sticking out of the seat of Dudley's pants.

Vernon could feel his face growing red and his temper growing alongside it. The Ferris Wheel, an ordinary ride at an amusement park for ordinary people, not for their crowd, was heart-shaped because of the weight of the giant, and his son had the tail (and the smell, judging by Petunia's stifled sniffs) of a skunk. It was going to be a long ride home.

If there was one thing Vernon absolutely hated, it was the amusement park. Petunia clutched his arm, her pocketbook held tightly to her as they hurried through the park to the exit, hoping they wouldn't meet anymore characters along the way.