Midnight. It was raining outside. No, that was an understatement. It was storming like it was the end of the world out there. The lightning was so bright that at moments it was like daytime, and the thunder was so loud that Lucy was surprised that it didn't wake the others up. As if to prove that that wasn't an exaggeration, in a flash of lightning she saw blue sky and white clouds in the distance, which, considering how it was coming down, Lucy would have been shocked to see even if it had been daytime. Such a storm should cover the entire sky shouldn't it? Then came the deafening roar.

Lucy turned away from the window, and left her room, or rather, Nyuu's room. Nyuu. Lucy's hand went to her breast, remembering the feel of Kouta's hand upon it. Even though Nyuu had been the asserted personality, Lucy could remember everything that happened…even Nyuu's thoughts. Perhaps the reason she kept turning back into Nyuu was that that way, she didn't have all this guilt…that way, she could let herself live here, with Kouta.

She had been headed to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich or something, but on impulse decided to enter Kouta's room, instead. Why was she even here? She squatted down next to his mat. There was a flash of lightning, and just for a split second, she could see him clearly in all his beauty. Her heart jumped deliciously, if just for a second before cruel reality came crashing back in. He was truly a beautiful creature, a sad creature. And it was her fault that he was the latter. And she wanted him. But it could never be.

She had killed his father and sister. She remembered those moments etched forever in her brain as if they were yesterday. She remembered a much younger Kouta, even then so giving, covered in his own sister's blood, staring at Lucy uncomprehendingly. She had killed many times over her life, some of them in very creative ways, but never had she seen anybody look so hurt. And then he had screamed. And screamed. And screamed some more. When he had stopped screaming, it was only because his vocal cords had worn out. She was long gone by the time they found him, screamed out and cried out, repressing his memory of any of this having happened.

Lucy would be tortured by guilt until she confessed it, but at the same time, she couldn't confess, couldn't risk reviving those horrible memories, making him relive what she had done to him. It was a conundrum: she couldn't stop suffering until she had confessed her sins, but she couldn't stand to have him remember the pain she had caused him. Quite a conundrum. Or not: if she could protect him from the pain, even if it meant suffering herself forever after, she would gladly do so. Or maybe you're just too cowardly to face him. Lucy shrugged. Maybe.

Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough so that she could see him clearly, and her ears had stopped ringing from the latest thunderbolt, allowing her to hear the noises he was making over the sound of the rain, which was beating on their home like it had a vengeance. They were not happy noises, and he was twisting and turning. A nightmare. Lucy wanted to wake Kouta up, but she hesitated. If he woke up, she would surly turn back into Nyuu, and she didn't want to do that, not just yet. Still, he was in torment.

Lucy stoked the side of his face. "Don't worry, I'm here," she said. She had to smile at herself, but it wasn't a happy smile. She was probably the reason he was having this nightmare. Her words might to more harm than good, if he could even hear her at all. So, then, what would help?

She leaned in and kissed him. He smelled faintly of terror sweat, and having been asleep for several hours gave him the first hints of morning breath, but Lucy barely noticed. To her, Kouta tasted sweet and smelled of roses. Even though he was unconscious, his soft lips parted for her tongue without resistance, yielding to her. She climbed on top of him. It would be easy…so easy to… No! What was she thinking? Molesting his body while he wasn't in it, that would be…well, kind of creepy, at the very least.

And yet…at this point, would it really matter? After what she had done to him, what more could it hurt? Kouta would not be hurt by Lucy using his body. Will I ever have this chance again? Lucy didn't even know why she was awake instead of Nyuu. Lucy wasn't worthy of being with Kouta, but he would never get with Nyuu. Even if he were the type to go for mentally impaired girls (and he wasn't), he was too honorable to take advantage of one. Shouldn't I return the favor?

That seemed the honorable thing to do…and yet…and yet…what would it hurt? Surely, he would not be harmed by it, and she would enjoy it, so…no. He whimpered again, and she kissed him again. Maybe if I just touch him. She pulled the blanket from his body, and with her right hand felt her way down his smooth chest and stomach. And then…and then, she grabbed him.

He was soft, but she moved her hand rhythmically, and then he wasn't. And he was making much more pleasant sounds. Surely, then, this was a good thing? No. If you want to save him from the nightmare, wake him up. But the voice of reason was overwhelmed by need. Overpowering need.

Removing her panties and lifting her nightgown so it wouldn't get in the way, Lucy enveloped him in her. She felt the shock of it, this being her first time, and then she proceeded to pump her hips. She kept her voice down, even though no one would have heard them over the thunder, and remained constantly alert, for fear that he'd wake up. If anything, the taboo aspect made it even more exhilarating. Taboo? Try "illegal and immoral."

Climax. First him, and then her, in quick succession. She was going to have to clean them up, and soon; as they say, what goes up, must come down. Lucy smiled down at Kouta. Well, he wasn't having a nightmare anymore.

Kouta murmured: "I love you, Yuka."

Lucy had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Really, what did she expect? What did she deserve? He didn't know the real her, and he certainly wouldn't be calling out Nyuu's name! Still, in a way, it hurt. It proved that he wasn't hers, could never be hers, was not for her.

"I love you, too, Kouta." And then she went to clean up her mess so that he wouldn't suspect that anything more than a dream had happened come morning.


Author's Commentary (As If You Care)

Hey, readers, what do you think of my very first Elfen Lied story? I think it was kind of generic, by my standards. Don't get me wrong, I'm not peddling crap off on you, potential readers; if I thought that this story sucked, I wouldn't publish it. It's just that this is really just my way of testing the waters, as it were. Seeing if I had a feel for the world of Elfen Lied, and how I would come across to readers of Elfen Lied fanfiction.

This story reminds me a bit of Captivated (Teen Titans fandom), my first lemon, and of Debt (Fullmetal Alchemist fandom), which I was too nervous about to make into a lemon at the time. Truth be told, I was considering skipping over the sex scene here, too, but considering how sensual the story was in its buildup, it would have been awkward to pan to the sky, as it were. And so, this is a lemon. That doesn't really bother me. Sex sells, after all.

So that's it. Pretty amazing, considering I only came across Elfen Lied by chance last week, and watched the entire series in a night (and the next morning).

Thank you for reading, I hope you loved it, and please R&R. Seriously, R&R. My petty ego requires sustenance, lol.