Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me...well unless you count the DVD's.

Spoilers: Chimera, Solitude, Divide and Conquer, A Hundred Days.

Rating: K

I was watching one of my favorite movies last night, and this song played and I got terribly excited about it and started writing this straight away. Jack's thoughts after "Chimera" to "King of wishful thinking" by Go West (from the movie Pretty Woman). I hope you enjoy it, if you do, please review, it really does brighten a writers day and give them inspiration to keep writing if they get positive (sometime even negative feedback is good, tells us where we can improve) feedack.


"Humming?" Jack's voice was almost accusatory in tone as he turned towards Sam

"I am? Sam replied back, shocked that she had a) been humming and b) been humming in front of Jack…err, the Colonel.

"You are." He replied, so fast that Sam swore he had read her mind and knew exactly was she ws going to say.

"Sorry." She wasn't really. She was happy today. She was getting her chance at normality.

An awkward silence filled the elevator as the lift sped them downwards, Jack the one to break the silence.

" What's his name?"

" Now, why…" Sam began, confused…did he really know her that well?

"Humming." Oh yeah, Jack knew Sam inside and out. She didn't hum for no reason. She didn't hum for no-one. He, the thought of Sam being with someone else lanced through him, must be one great guy for her to hum over him.

"Pete."

"Pete." Jack repeated, letting the name roll off his tongue. Deciding that he hated that name already, and the man who belonged to it.

"Pete Shanahan. He's a cop."

"Speeding again, are we?"

"From Denver. He's a friend of my brother's." Sam explained, cringing inwardly, knowing that it sounded pathetic.

"A setup?" Jack was mildly shocked. The fact that Sam had been setup with a guy was well...shocking, but not as much as he had thought. She was practically married to her job.

"Pathetic, I know."

"Not, it's great." Jack said quickly.

"Really?" She fired back, just as fast.

"Isn't it?

"Well, it's not serious or anything."

"And yet, it is…hum worthy."

"Sir."

"Now Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy you're happy about something other than…quarks." Jack paused, that annoying awkward silence once again filling the lift, "Not bad with the quarks."

"Excellent." A brief smile playing at her lips.

"Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?" Jack finally said, mentally kicking himself.

"Yeah, a bit." Sam admitted as the doors swung open, Jack making his escape as soon as possible.

"Good luck." He threw over his shoulder as he strode down the corridor of Level 28, barely hearing her response.

"Thank you, Sir." Sam knew at the moment that she despised that word. It was for that very word that she was humming today. If it weren't for that word she would have been humming a long time ago.

So Sam was telling her beau about the SGC. It had taken some major string pulling for that to happen, including one very heated argument between Jack and General Hammond, and that's why Jack was sitting at home on his couch staring at the bottle of whiskey that he had been saving for 'that' special day. The one where he told the woman that he loved that he loved her, and then after sweeping her off her feet and making passionate love to her, he would drive around to George's house, declare that he had been right after all, that he owed Jacob money and they would crack open the bottle to celebrate a new found love and eternal bliss. But not now. The woman that he loved loved someone else. He wouldn't tell her, he wouldn't sweep her off her feet and make passionate love to her. He wouldn't drive around to George's house and declare that he had been right. He would sit at home and lament of a love lost.

So, after staring at the bottle for what seemed hours, he broke the seal and poured the amber liquid into a glass. He didn't even both with ice. Just downed it in one gulp. Flicking on his cd player, tuned to an station that played classics, he recognized the tune. How could he not. It was from Sam's favorite movie.

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

He couldn't expect her to wait forever. He cared about her, that much was for sure. He had realized that…no, he had known that he cared about her a heck of a lot more than was allowed to on that very first mission. He'd all but admitted it. But nothing concrete had ever been said. Oh sure, they had admitted they both 'cared' about each other during that whole Za'tarc thing. But…apart from little moments of…something since then.

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

Pouring another glass, he swirled it around before gulping it down. He could pretend he didn't care. He could pretend he didn't love her. He could make it his new chant. He could replace, "The regs!" with "I don't love her."

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

Jack scoffed silently, how could you refuse to give in to your blues? When you loved someone this much you couldn't just let them go like that. You needed a mourning period. Sure, they were still alive. But no longer yours. Swiping his hand angrily over his eyes, destroying all evidence of his heart ache, that hole that was now in heart…that empty space, which once had a 'sold' sign on it was now occupied with a 'condemned' sign.

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

Pouring another glass, he ignored the slight pounding on his head he downed another glass, knowing that he was falling into that black hole again. A hole that she had helped him climb out of years ago, she was now shunting him back in. Without knowing that she had saved him, and then killed him.

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

He poured his third glass down his throat, grimacing as the fiery liquid burned his insides. No, Jack O'Neill would never cry over Samantha Carter. He would fight hard, and he would let go of her. Wishing, hoping and praying that she got her well deserved happiness. He couldn't cry if she were happy.

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

It was just ignoring the rumours at the SGC. Sure they had been circulating for years, had intensified briefly after the za'tarc incident, and after Antarctica, after Edora, after…well, quite a few missions really. They had weathered all sorts of sordid rumours, including what really happened with the za'tarc incident. The worst of which had been that they had had to prove their feelings to each other…in front of an audience. Thankfully he had strung everyone up before that had got too far and Sam had never heard it. Though it probably fueled a few more rumours.

I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..

Jack would get over her, if only in words. He would tell himself and others that he didn't love her. Knowing that they would see through his façade. See the way his eye would twitch at the mention of Pete's name. Knowing that they would see his crestfallen expression when he walked past her lab in the hopes of her being their, but knowing already that she was with Pete. Knowing why he would storm around the base for days after her engagement was announced. Because he knew already that's where this was going. Sam didn't do things by half. It was all in or nothing for her. Pete was her chance at happiness. A happiness he couldn't give her.

I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..

Angrily slamming down his glass he ignored the ominous crack it made when it the heavy wood of his table, knowing he had broken it, he wiped his face with jumper sleeve. Ridding himself of the last tears he would ever cry over Sam Carter. She was happy. That was all that mattered to him, her eternal happiness. If she happened to find that in the arms of another man, then he would have to live with that. Because all Jack O'Neill wanted in life was to see Sam Carter happy.

I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

Sighing, he screwed the lid onto the bottle of whiskey. Saving it for the next day he would need it. The day Sam Carter got married. He would be there, standing in all his finery as he watched her say her vows, sparkling and glowing with happiness. He would stand up, and give a, hopefully, funny speech. He would wish them well. He would tell them that he hoped they would be happy together for a long time. He would tell them that nothing is more sacred than the love of a man and a woman, and that it should be cherished. He would stare at Sam throughout the whole speech. He would say more to her with his eyes than he ever had, or ever could with his voice. He would dance with the bride, his hands on her waist as they swayed to the music. He would then let her go, passing her to the other man who loved her. He would watch them as they drove away in the car. He would then go home and complete his mourning. After all, it was only wishful thinking that he could have his fairy tale ending. But he would be happy, knowing that she was. And that was why he was going to try and let her go.


Hope you liked it, please make my day and submit a review!