After many days of fighting with Tayuya, Orochimaru finally was able to get his dairy back.

Dear dairy,

I have no idea why I am writing this now but I was thinking about it recently and I don't think I've told you about it yet.

Anyway, when my parents died Sarutobi-sensei said something about white snakes bringing good luck. When I found a white snake skin by my parents grave he told me that means that my parents might reincarnated, and that I might be able to meet them when I was older.



Kabuto looked up and from the recent dairy entry and chuckled.

'I'll tell Suigetsu about this, maybe we could use this to our advantage.' Thought Kabuto.

19. Tell that the myth that Sarutobi told him was a lie, and that white snakes, in fact do not bring good luck.

Kabuto missed the small print underneath Orochimaru's signature.

'…I thought that was a load of bullshit.' Was written in Orochimaru's handwriting.


Kabuto came up to Orochimaru later that day to tell him.

"Hey Orochimaru." Kabuto called from the laboratory doorway.

"What?" Orochimaru called looking down at a bundle of papers. When Kabuto drew closer Orochimaru shoved the papers underneath a pile of other papers. Kabuto could see 'REPORT' written on it and made it a point to came back and read it to himself.

"You know that myth that Sarutobi told you when you were younger?" Kabuto asked looking innocent.

"…"Orochimaru looked confused.

"You know the one about the white snakes?"


"You know how their supposed to bring good luck?"

"…Yes." Orochimaru looked even more confused.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you that the myth is wrong and that white snake's do not bring good luck." Kabuto said still looking innocent.

"Wait…how do you know that Sarutobi told me that?"

Kabuto looked nervous for a second and then regained his composer.

"I'm psychic." Was all Kabuto said.

"Psychic?" Orochimaru looked doubtful.


"But then if you're psychic then you would know that I don't believe that myth." Orochimaru said turning back to his work.

Kabuto's face fell for a minute.

"Dammit, I didn't see that in the dairy…" Kabuto said under his breath.

"What did you say?" Orochimaru asked suddenly interested.

"Uh…uh…um…" Kabuto struggled with his words.

"You looked in my dairy?!" Orochimaru yelled now out of his chair and standing striaght.


"Alright Kabuto, if you're psychic, then what am I thinking now?" Orochimaru asked making his way over to Kabuto.

"…That you're going to kill me?" Kabuto said meekly holding his hands in front of his face.


Everyone could hear Kabuto's screams of anguish across the base.


After 3 weeks in the hospital Kabuto was allowed to go back to the layer.

When he got back he went straight to Orochimaru's room to look for the mysterious bundle of papers that said 'REPORT'.

He looked through the papers on Orochimaru's desk until he found what he was looking for.


June 1

Told me how his room-mates are playing pranks on him.

June 3

Has started wearing a ski cape.

Eyes have started twitching; I don't think he's noticed yet.

July 7

Now has a phobia of the color pink

Permanent eye twitching

Has gotten paler

July 28

Has told me that everyone laughs at him

August 2

Has told me that his room-mate is a cannibal

Sever mental break down

Used up all my tissues

August 18

Claims to have brothers

Has plotted to kill brothers (I think I saw that Maury episode)

September 1

Says the Akatsuki is out to get him

Says they claim he is the Yamata no Orochi (Whatever the hell that is)

Kabuto snickered to himself as he set the report back under the pile of papers where had found it.


20. Treat him like a baby. (Make him go to bed at a cretin time, give him a binky, blanket, make him wear a diaper, ect, ect…)

Dear Dairy,

Tayuya's, Kin's, and Karin's motherly instincts have begun to kick in. As to why it is, I have no idea. They been 'practicing' or so they say on me. They have put me in a diaper (It's really uncomfortable) they have given me a binky…

I swear if they call me to take another bath, they are going to regret it…

I hate them all.



Orochimaru set his pen down and closed the Dairy.

"Orochimaru honey! It's time for your bath!" Karin called from the bathroom.

"ARGH!" Orochimaru's cry could be heard across the base. Followed by girls screams, and then almost immediately after that, boys screams where heard.

Yep, Orochimaru finally snapped.


September 24

Has finally gone insane

Is emotionally distant and quiet

Has locked Suigetsu in a tank full of water

Has sent Karin on guard duty in the North Base

Has locked Juugo and Kimimaro in a prison cell

Has put the curse seal on his subordinates

Has sent Kin, Zaku, and Dosu to retrieve 'Sasuke' from Konoha

Has sent Kabuto to Baby sit the three above

Now has been moved to an asylum

Now plans to attack Konoha and kill his old sensei

I should call the police


A/N: It's finally over. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

If you think I should make another one just tell me and which character I should use.

Thank you!