A/N: This is a drabble that came to me after watching the episode from Monday 11th June. I apologise if it's rubbish.
Darren. Darren Osbourne. Darren. She fancies him, I can tell. And it bugs me more than I ever thought it would. Because I always knew she'd find someone else, after Will she'd fall into someone else's arms and that would be the end of it. But I never thought it would be slimy Darren Osbourne. I'd trust him as much as I'd trust a python not to bite me. You know, that's probably what he's wanting as well.
I was prepared. I think I was prepared. It wasn't as though I ever held any illusions, nor was I ever going to try anything. She was Zoe. My mate. My best mate. I was the one she turned to when things got rough and that's the way I wanted it to stay. I had thought she'd get back with Zak. I think that would've been torture. Living in the same flat with her and Will as a couple was bad enough but Zak would want to marry her or something. I don't know if I could cope with that.
I think I now knew how Kris felt when he said he didn't want any kind of permanence. The thought of Zoe and Zak becoming a permanent town attraction was sickening; I'd rather she…
Oh, now, was I really saying that? If she'd gone I'd be sat alone every night watching Zak push chopsticks up his nose for a bet while Elliot played with his astronomy equipment. Yeah, life and soul of the party, that's what I'd be.
And what was I at this moment in time? A third wheel. Watching Zoe flirt with Darren (and vice versa) was hardly my idea of a good time but somehow I couldn't take my eyes off them. She was really into him, and who really knew if he was interested in her for anything more than one thing? But he might be. And what kind of friend would I be if I warned her off, stopped her from maybe being happy?
That's what I wanted, after all- her to be happy. The trouble was, I wasn't going to make her happy and if I was honest, she wasn't going to make me happy either. I'm not Kris. I'm not comfortable with being different, I can't revel in it. If I was… Well, if I was with Zoe it'd be in secret. No kissing, no hugging, no touching of any nature; not even something that would inevitably be conceived of as friendship. I'd just always be on the offensive; battering the enemy before they could batter me. I knew what that'd do to Zoe. So that's why I'd never entertain the thought.
Not that I'd be as presumptuous as to assume we'd ever have anything. I mean, yes, I liked Zoe; yes, we were pretty alike, we liked the same things and all, but I could never assume she'd ever have those feelings towards me. I knew exactly how mine had come about but that had been a bit of a fluke. Five minutes of Kris singing Madonna at top volume bonded us in some way. And after that I slept with Kris- several times- and enjoyed the company of other gentleman but I knew what I really wanted to do. Pity I'd never have the guts to do it.
Darren isn't serious about her. From what I've heard the only thing he's serious about is his bank balance. And what does that mean? That she'll get hurt somewhere along the way. I'd pick up the pieces, of course I would, but I'd still have to look at her and know the truth of the situation.
Maybe Darren wouldn't want a serious relationship. Maybe even Zak wouldn't if she pressed him. I doubt there was anything on the planet that would attract her to Elliot or Kris but if that happened then I still don't think anything serious would emerge. In fact, I'm not even sure if Zoe is the settling type. But I know one thing for sure- she'd never settle for me.
And what's the worrying thing about all this? I'd never want her to.