Never Is A Promise
Another Zelgadis/Amelia songfic. I know I did this song before in 'Paper Bag (Fiona Apple)' but this song describes Zelgadis just too well, I think. Zelgadis tells his feelings to Amelia in a song.
Zelgadis sat down at the piano in the grand hall of the palace, Amelia was sitting nearby, her eyes intent on his stiff back. Lina and Gourry were off to the side, the swordsman sitting at Lina's feet. The Chimera's fingers paused over the keys of the piano, finding the right ones to press. Slowly, he started, playing out a beautiful set of chords before starting to sing softly.
"You'll never see - the courage I know. Its colors' richness won't appear within your view. I'll never glow - the way that you glow. Your presence dominates the judgements made on you." Zelgadis's tenor voice rang out over the mellow sounds of the piano. Amelia's eyes glittered as she listened.
"But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights. The shades and shadows undulate in my perception. My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights. I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you," he continued softly, his fingers dancing over the keys, feet moving from one pedal to another adding soft and lengthened tones to the song.
"You'll say you understand, but you don't understand. You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye. But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie." Amelia was now crying, her tears falling forgotten from her chin.
"You'll never touch - these things that I hold. The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own. You'll never feel the heat of this soul. My fever burns me deeper then I've ever shown," Zelgadis paused in his playing, his voice echoing in the large chamber, "-to you," he continued softly, sadly.
"You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems. You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high. But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie," Zelgadis shook his head as he sang, lost in his own world of the keys and words, ignoring the wide eyes of his friends. He'd never displayed such talent in singing. Lina had known he could play guitar, but she'd never known he could play other instruments.
"You'll never live the life that I live. I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night. You'll never hear the message I give. You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight," again, Zelgadis paused to let the sounds die off a moment then continued playing a few measures before raising his voice.
"But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights. The shades and shadows undulate in my perception. My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights. I realize what I am now too smart to mention," he glanced over at Amelia, "-to you...
"You'll say you understand, you'll never understand. I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why. I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am. You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry," Zelgadis shook his head, finding it hard to find the keys because of the tears in his eyes. He hadn't wanted to do this to her, but it was how he truly felt. "But never-" his voice faltered, "is a promise," he paused for breath, "and I'll never-" he held the note as his fingers caught up with his voice, "need a lie." Zelgadis continued playing a few more moments before the song was ended and he let his hands fall from the keys to his lap. He heard the soft tapping of Amelia's shoes as she ran away, crying. Zelgadis hung his head, his ears picking up the sound of Lina dragging Gourry away.
Alone, Zelgadis found himself alone once again, he was somewhat glad. He felt tired from revealing his deepest secrets to so many people at once. Slowly, he got up from the bench and made his way to his rooms.