Disclaimer: I own Animaniacs. But only in the form of DVDs.

Edited: May 15, 2010

Thursdays were always such a weird day, Yakko mused. If something were to happen on a Thursday, then it would either make or break the weekend, among other things. Continuing his thoughts on his least favorite day of the week, Yakko surveyed the contents of the Warner's refrigerator. There was nothing, milk, nothing, nothing and nothing. And mayonnaise. He could always just have a mayonnaise sandwich, but he would rather sit for twenty minutes with Baloney the Dinosaur AND Mr. Director at the same time. And milk was definitely out of the question. He and his siblings learned the hard way that he was lactose intolerant. 'All in all,' he thought, looking back at the experience, 'that was the best studio party ever.'

"Hey, Yakko. I'm hungry," said Wakko, poking his head into the kitchen.

"I know you are, little bro," he replied. "Help yourself to whatever we don't have. Just try to leave some food for Dot." The last thing he needed was another argument between the two younger siblings. Yakko watched as Wakko wasted no time in devouring any and everything in his line of sight. He was used to Wakko complaining about being hungry. Heck, everyone in the studio was used to that. But in the past couple of months, the amount of complaints a day increased. And it wasn't just Wakko, either. Dot seemed to have taken a liking to her brother's unofficial catchphrase, because she also complained.

The first couple of months after the show was canceled, things were relatively good for the Warners. They watched what they spent their (little) money on. They spent it on mostly food. But with Wakko around, that was a given. But even though times were a little less than what they were used to, they managed to get by.

It wasn't until their (little) money started to dwindle that Yakko began to worry. Being the oldest, it was his responsibility to see to it that his siblings had everything they needed to survive. They already had a roof over their heads, so that was one less things to worry about. They had clothes, no problem. It was the miscellaneous things that Wakko and Dot felt they needed that made it hard on Yakko. But far be it from Yakko to deny his siblings anything. Ever since they were little, if he couldn't get them something that they wanted, he would feel bad about it. He often found himself wondering if all older siblings felt that way, or maybe he was a special case. (After all, not all older siblings were orphans who were locked inside of a water tower for almost 60 years.) Lately, everything seemed to be breaking down around him. Because if both of his siblings were hungry, that meant there wasn't any food. That meant that Yakko wasn't fulfilling his responsibility of caregiver.

That meant that Yakko Warner was a horrible big brother.

"Wakko! You cleaned out the entire fridge?" Dot cried in horror.

"Not the whole fridge, I left the mayonnaise and the milk," Wakko said, shoving a carton of baking soda in his mouth.

"And what am I supposed to do with mayo and milk, Wakko? Make cottage cheese?"

"It's not MY fault there's no food!"

'Low blow, little brother,' Yakko thought miserably as he listened in.

"Maybe if you did stuff your face every two seconds it wouldn't be your fault!"

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"Ok, guys. That's it!" It was time to intervene. "Wakko, apologize for eating a scootch too much food, Dot apologize for…"

"Oh great, here he goes again!" Dot said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Yakko and Wakko shared a look and turned back to Dot.

"And just what do you mean by that, Dot?" Yakko asked.

Dot marched up to Yakko and pulled him down to her level. "Every time Wakko and I get into an argument, you're always there trying to play the hero. And I gotta tell ya, it gets kind of annoying after some time."

"I don't try to play hero," he replied quietly. He turned to Wakko for support. "Do I?" Wakko looked sheepishly at his feet. He was avoiding answering the question. Wakko never did that. Unless he didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. "I don't mean to play hero, I just don't want you two fighting so much…"

"That's the problem, Yakko!" Dot said. "Do we ever ask you to stop our fights? No. You want to know why? Because we can solve them on our own. We're not always going to need big brother there to help us out."


"No 'buts', Yakko. I hate to tell you this, but you aren't the dad. You're just the big brother who gets into things that sometimes he shouldn't."

Dot left the kitchen and headed towards her part of the water tower, leaving Yakko and Wakko to mull over what had just happened. Wakko went over to see if Yakko was ok, but when he put a hand on Yakko's shoulder, Yakko just pulled away from him. Wakko sighed.

"I'm sorry, Yakko. But Dot does have a of a point."

Yakko nodded silently. Realizing he wasn't going to get any other reaction from his brother, Wakko left. Yakko stayed in the kitchen for a few minutes, just thinking. Wakko's Don Knotts videos were heard in the background. He was right. He was a horrible big brother. And it seemed his siblings agreed.

Without really paying attention to what he was doing, Yakko reached for the gallon of water and a glass. Filling the glass until it was completely full, he downed the contents. As he went to toss the glass in the sink to wash it later, he noticed the little bit that was left wasn't clear at all. Water was always supposed to be clear.

"Wait a minute! Since when do we have a gallon of water?" he cried. Slowly, as to not call attention to himself, and the really stupid thing he just did, he made his way to his part of the water tower. It would be a couple of minutes of waiting, and he was not looking forward to the consequences of his actions.

Ten minutes passed since she exploded at her older brother, and Dot felt really bad about what she had said. She didn't mean to come off so harshly, she was just really mad at Wakko. He always overdid it when it came to eating. And then Yakko came in trying to make things right, as always, but this time she lost it.

She made her way to where Wakko was finishing his 2nd video, and noticed Yakko was nowhere to be found.

"Hey Wakko, where's Yakko?"

"I dunno. Maybe his room."

And sure enough, there he was, curled into a ball on his bed. Was he really that upset by what she said?

"Hey, Yakko."


"I just wanted to say that I was sorry for yelling at you earlier. You okay?" She waited for response. All she got was "ugh…" "Fine! Be that way!"

She was about to leave when she heard him sniff. Was he crying?

"Yakko? Are you ok?"

"ugh…water…pain hurts…"

That made no sense. Had he not rolled off his bed in a way that seemed to really hurt, she would have told him so. Instead, she panicked and called for Wakko. He was in the room all of two seconds later kneeling in front of Yakko, who was clutching his stomach, tears pouring from his eyes from the pain he was in. Dot took his head and placed it on her lap and brushing away the tears on his face in a form of comfort.

"You drank milk, didn't you?" Wakko asked.

"…little bit…"

"Why would you do that? Don't you know you're lactose intolerant?" Dot joked.

"…little bit…"

"Well, you're in for a fun night. Wakko, get some pillows. We're taking care of big brother tonight."

Yakko's tears returned, but not from the stomach pain.