What could have been.

Summery... Sam's feeling worthless after events at Devil's Trap and his visions are getting out of control as he is shown what could have been.

Disclaimer...Still a Supernatural free zone in my house, I don't own them.

A.N... Last chapter, some things didn't happen at the start of season two you'll see what I mean by the end. Thanks for reading. Colby's girl this is for you, I couldn't make you wait till you got back, also to Sammygirl1963. Enjoy everyone.

"I know who it is now, Dean. I know what they want to tell us." Sam called out before starting to sob uncontrollably.

"Calm down Sam. What's the matter? What's going on? Who is it? What do they want?" Dean fired question after question.

Sam attempted to respond but the words just wouldn't come, taking the coffee Missouri handed him he took a mouth full whilst trying to calm down his frayed nerves. It was a good hour before he felt able to tell what had happened after his latest vision.

Sam again found himself in the classroom, which he now recognized as one of his lecture rooms at Stanford, sitting down again he waited. It wasn't long before the door opened and the man from his earlier vision entered. Again Sam could make out the shape but the man's face was blank. As the man entered further into the room Sam's mind began to register more and more things. A long, jean clad leg covered a well worn battered boot, a long black leather jacket fitted comfortably over a plain shirt which in turn covered a muscular, working mans body, dark hair and stubble beard were peppered with grey. Suddenly it all fit and Sam looked up and found eyes that matched his own.

"Dad." He gasped out.

"Sam." John answered.

"But how? Why?"

"I found some things out and this was the only way that I could tell you. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you, if there had of been another way I swear I would have taken it, but the information was important."

"You never change do you dad, if it involves the demon you don't care who you hurt, even your own sons." Sam spat out.

"Sammy, please I don't have a lot of time and I don't want to spend it fighting with you, we always seem to go around in circles, just for once please just listen to your dad."

Sam was overcome with a sudden sense of deja vu. He remembered a similar scene not too long ago, which had taken place in John's hospital room. He remembered how hurt he had been, after his dad had died, that his last words were thrown in anger. It was something he couldn't go through with again, so taking a deep breath he nodded his agreement that his dad should carry on.

"Things have been working against this family for a very long time son, but I've only just realized just how big this thing is. Every hunt you and your brother have been on this last year have been down to the yellow eyed demon, he's not been personally involved which is why you have been unable to sense him all the time, but his minions have all been involved."

"But why dad, I don't understand."

"Our family has caused numerous problems in the underworld since your mothers death, but know matter what we did there seems to be an unwritten rule that we shouldn't be harmed. I needed to know. It was the yellow eyed demon, Sam. The visions that I showed you, that's what could have been, if that rule hadn't been there, but the demon has plans and he needs you strong so he stepped in and helped us, a slight suggestion here and there to nudge you, but really he just played on your natural instinct as brothers to save one another". John stopped, allowing Sam to take in what had been said so far, before continuing. "The demon needed you with Dean, Sam. It knew he was the best one to teach you all you needed to know, but now your strong enough he will try and separate you both. You can't allow that to happen. You have to stick together, Sam, you and Dean. Now you know why I had to make that deal Sam, I found out when he possessed me."

Sam cut in. "But if that's what he wanted, me and Dean separated, why did he save us at the cabin? Why did he make the deal with you? Why not just let Dean die?"

"He needed you to kill me that was a test for you. After that time we had the colt, that was a powerful incentive, he needs it for something, plus I don't think he realized just how strong you both are when you stick together. Apart you formidable, together your a force. You will eventually get the evil that destroyed our family, but only if your together. I made the deal son, because you need Dean, just as much as he needs you. Whatever happens stay together, don't leave one another. I wish there could have been another way and I'm sorry that I won't be there with you both, but I'll never be to far away from you." John paused; he had more to say but Winchester pride was getting in the way, biting the bullet he continued. "I'm sorry for the way I acted when you got accepted to Stanford, I was scared Sam, I wouldn't be able to protect you and I lashed out, but that doesn't mean I wasn't proud of your achievement. I'm proud of you son, I'm proud of the man you've become, I love you Sam." John turned to walk out of the room." I have to go, I'll see you again."

Sam tried to grab his father but his hand just brushed right through John's arm. "Wait dad, there's so much more I need to know. What does the demon have planned for me? Tell me how to get you back?" His questions trailed off as John took one final look before walking out the door. Sinking into a chair, Sam started sobbing, slowly realizing as he did so that he was returning to the motel room.

As Sam recounted the last piece of the remembered vision and meeting with his father, he looked up to find Dean in tears, Missouri also.

'What do we do now, Dean?"? Sam asked eventually

"We do as dad says, Sam. We stick together, stay sharp, kill things and don't stop until we get that yellow eyed sucker." Dean's masks firmly back in place now, he gave his brother's shoulder a quick squeeze before saying. "And we're gonna eat, greasy burgers and fries all round." Fixing Sam with his usual cocky smile.

Later that night found both boys sleeping, Sam for the first time in days not drug and vision induced, and for the first time in weeks not dreaming.

Dean was.

Sitting in the Impala Dean was listening to the occupant of the passenger seat. "I never got to tell you Dean, just how very proud of you I was, you took care of both of us even when you were still a child yourself. It was a job you did with such passion Dean and I have another one for you now. Take care of Sammy, Dean. They will try and turn him but if you both work together they won't succeed."

"I will dad, you know I will, I promise you."

"Dean, I have one more thing I need you to do for me."

"Anything dad, what do you need me to do?"

"If they succeed in turning Sam. I need you to kill your brother, Dean."

A set of green eyes shot open in the quiet motel room.

The end?

Thanks to everyone who read my little fic, and massive thanks to those who reviewed. Hope your not too disappointed with the ending, I had an idea where I wanted it to go and I think I managed to get where I wanted it to be, but if you have any suggestions to make it better, I'm all ears, hit review and let me know. Will post another fic soon, it could possibly be a little dark so I'm nervous about posting, so wait and see. Thanks again, Peanut ; ) x