The God-awful Truth

"Oh no," said Raven over her book; it was Edgar Allan Poe or something. "Does anyone else get the morbid, chilling, terrible, awful, dreadful, appalling, horrendous, atrocious, abysmal, gloomy, morose, sinister and overall thoroughly boring – though hardly synonymously challenged – feeling that this is going to be another one of those stupid fan fictions that parodies every character and every characteristic and every overdone/badly done fanfic convention?"

"Gee, Raven, now that you mention it, I think you're right," Cyborg declared between fighting with Beast Boy over tofu for breakfast.

Then he said "Booyah", because… that's what Cyborg says. Apparently.

(He never said that in the old comics, you know. God. Idiots!)

"Dude why'd you say that dude?" Beast Boy asked eating his tofu.

"Because, it's like, my catch phrase, or, something." Cyborg grinned. "Well, hey, look at that. I appear, to have stolen, all the commas, from your sentence, and put them in, mine. God, you're stupid."

"We are doing well here, aren't we?" Raven said. "So far, BB has said "dude" twice, Cyborg has said "Booyah", insulted BB and fought with him over tofu – a mandatory opening to any Teen Titans fan fic – while I have been shown to be reading a gloomy book while stating the obvious in a monotone voice and calling BB "BB", which is something I would never do. The fourth wall has been broken multiple times already, and frankly, I'm concerned that this may not be a parody of Teen Titans fan fiction, but a parody of parodies of Teen Titans fan fiction. A bad one."

"Oh, Hell," said Cyborg. "And it was going so well too. Booyah and such."

"No, Cyborg. It was never going well."

(There was no indication of who had spoken then. The reader assumed it was Raven; but then again, who knew?)

Then CYBORG said "Let's go out for waffles". It was obvious that Cyborg had spoken this time. "Or pizza."

(The reader assumed this was Cyborg also)

"Why?"

(No, can't help you…)

"Because that's what we do in every fan fiction," said Cyborg. "It has HIDDEN MEANING."

"What, like it conveys the freelance, care-free and health-unconscious ways of teenagers today?"

"Naw, we're just a bunch of lazy slobs. Booyah. Oh yeah, and three!"

Raven rolled her eyes, tutted, hated everyone and everything and was generally gloomy, irritable and sarcastic for the rest of the chapter.


This kind of thing happens when you are forced to spend eleven hours the previous day revising Virtue Ethics and other scary philosophy theories for your A Level RE exam.

And, I mean, Layer Cake, Remember the Titans and Small Print are so serious

There are many more chapters to come (joy…), ripping the hell out of everything from OCs to Harry Potter, pairings to DeviantART…

Updates will be phenomenally quick.

PHENOMENALLY.