OMG, the title does not lie! This is it! This is really it! The final chapter of Teen Titans: Comedy Club!
Thankyou SO much to all who reviewed! And complained. And flamed.
Heh. Just kidding. Seriously. THANKYOU. :D
Please do enjoy:
The Last Chapter
"Whelp, we've come a long way," said Cyborg.
"Twenty-four chapters, to be exact," agreed Robin.
"Dude," said Beast Boy.
"Booyah," said Cyborg in response.
"Titans, go," said Robin, determined not to be outdone.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," said Raven, suddenly appearing out of nowhere and PWNing them.
Awed, the boys turned to Starfire, pleading her to avenge their defeat.
Starfire shrugged apologetically.
"I am sorry," she said. "I have no catchphrase. I also did not receive an arc of my own. I am always bypassed on everything. I am terribly unloved. I feel that I should rip some executives' heads off."
They were all silent for a while.
"So… last chapter," Raven observed finally.
"Yup," said Cyborg.
"I get the feeling RobinRocks ran out of ideas," said Beast Boy.
(AN: Totally true!!!1111!)
"Well," said Robin (un)sensibly, "how about we just recap everything that we've parodied in this parody of parodies?"
"Okay!!11!" Agreed everyone, expecting a witty and satirical paragraph-long recap of the events of this fic.
TO BEGIN THE RECAP, PLEASE CLICK BACK TO CHAPTER ONE: THE GODAWFUL TRUTH AND START READING.
Boy, were they disappointed.
When everyone got back to this point, the Teen Titans all looked at each other again.
"So… last chapter," said Beast Boy after a while.
"I swear, if anyone else says that, I will pry out their eyes with a spoon!!!11!eleven!" Declared Cyborg angrily.
Raven rolled her eyes.
"Oh, holy…" Robin socked his fist into his palm a few times irritably, searching for an appropriate word; then remembered that this wasn't the Sixties, and opted for "…shit."
"What is it, Robin?" Starfire asked.
"This chapter," Robin lamented. "It's dreadful. Devoid of direction, humor, and—"
"Slade," Raven supplied flatly.
"Yes," Robin agreed, looking at the floor and scuffing the toe of one boot embarrassedly. "And Slade."
"Well, up until now, we've found various other creative ways to amuse ourselves," Beast Boy pointed out, "from making porn tapes to playing Strip Spin the Bottle to… um, well, various other random things that would never happen on the show."
"But we can dream," Raven sighed, recalling that wonderful time in the mop closet with Father Anderson from Hellsing; even though Han Solo frozen in carbonite had been digging into her back.
"Might we please protest for me to have my own season arc?" Starfire asked, tearing the head off a Cartoon Network executive, making the others scream and flee for the hills.
"No, Starfire," Robin said gently. "Why would we want to do that? That's just silly."
"Why don't we go pop off all the people who have made cameos in this fic?" Cyborg suggested, already carving Paris Hilton's name into a bullet.
"Ooh, yeah, I have a list!" Beast Boy cried, pulling it out of his pocket. "Simon Cowell, George Clooney, Paris Hilton, those guys from Ghostbusters, all those other random cartoon, game and anime characters, Batman, Quentin Tarantino—"
"Uh, Quentin Tarantino wasn't actually in this, per se," Robin interrupted nervously.
"Let's just kill him anyway," said Raven. "Seeing as I am teh PWN demon byotch and whatnot. But I have a better way of killing them all off."
She pulled out her Death Note.
"Okay, this is just getting weird now," Cyborg observed, throwing the gun away anyway.
Although we're not sure why he needed a gun in the first place, when he has a proton cannon built into his arm.
Raven ripped a page out of the killer notebook.
"See, what we'll do is manufacture some mini poison darts using a deadly poison found deep in the heart of the jungles of the Danube," she said, rolling up the sheet. "Now, it'll take seven months to mature into a concoction which will probably kill whoever we shoot with the darts, and then we'll roll up these sheets and hide behind a bush or other conveniently-placed piece of shrubbery and blow the darts at our enemies if and when they happen to walk past."
"Uh…" The other four looked around at each other.
"I think we've completely bypassed the plotline here, but sure, whatever," said Robin.
"Here, Beast Boy," said Raven, writing the green shape-shifter's name on the sheet and handing it to him. "This one can be yours. It's got your name on it so you know that it's your one."
"To be honest," said Cyborg as Beast Boy promptly clutched at his heart and keeled over, stone dead, "I think this is just making up for the fact that Death Note didn't appear anywhere else in this parody."
"Is that perhaps why some giant robots are fighting in the middle of the city?" Starfire inquired. "Neon Genesis Evangelion was not mentioned either."
"Neither was Indiana Jones," said Cyborg, "which is probably why there is a giant boulder thundering towards us."
"And neither was—"
"Okay, just stop," said Robin. "Look, let's just dump Beast Boy's body. He'll be inexplicably back next chapter anyway, so… it hardly matters."
"But Robin," Cyborg said patiently, "there aren't anymore chapters. Didn't you pay attention to the title? This is The Last Chapter."
"Oh, hell." Robin glared at Raven. "Couldn't you have done this earlier?!"
Raven promptly wrote his name into the notebook too.
"Robin isn't my real name," Robin said smugly, not clutching at his heart and keeling over.
"Fine, then," Raven snapped, hitting him over the head with it instead.
"Okay, two of our team-members are dead," said Cyborg. "Now what shall we do?"
"Actually, I'm not dead," said Robin from the ground. "She only hit me with a note—"
Cyborg stamped on him repeatedly.
"As I was saying," he reiterated loudly when he was done, "two of our team-members are dead. Now what shall we do?"
"Something random and obscure, I guess."
"How about we get a van and wear hippy clothes and drive around solving mysteries?"
Starfire clapped her hands together.
"Oh, glorious," she said. "And we shall get a talking dog, and—"
"No need," said Cyborg with a grin. "Notice a pattern? Shaggy and Scooby go off by themselves; Fred stays with the two girls. Every. Single. Time. What do you think they're all doing while Shaggy and Scooby are running away from the butler in the Halloween mask?"
"Fine. I'll go get an orange sweater…"
Suddenly Slade showed up.
"I want to make a complaint," he said. "Twenty-four chapters of this laughable so-called fanfiction, and I am in two – count them – TWO chapters!!!111!"
"This makes three," Raven pointed out.
"Oh." Slade paused for a moment.
"The butler!" Starfire shrieked, hitting Slade over the head with a lamp.
"Wow," Cyborg noted, looking at the accumulating pile of bodies on the ground as Slade joined Robin and Beast Boy. "Boy, this chapter sucks."
"What were you expecting from a parody of parodies?" Raven said flatly. "I recall saying this right at the start, when Beast Boy was slightly less dead and you were… no, I guess it's fair to say that you were never slightly less perverted, Cyborg."
"Friends," Starfire said, "how is it that even while dead, Slade is managing to grope Robin?"
"Love knows no boundaries," Cyborg observed, sounding scholarly.
They all rode off into the sunset with some accompanying-and-very-appropriate violin music.
Suddenly, without warning, Teen Titans was cancelled.
And they all lived happily ever after.
"If reading each of these chapters took you an hour (which it really shouldn't have done, incidentally)," said RobinRocks, showing up for one last smug self-inserted little cameo, "then you just wasted a full twenty-four hours of your life!!!!111!"