Jack sat once more at his desk trying to tame the raging sea of paperwork that had accumulated over the past month. Most of it was so out of date that it was moot and could simply be shredded, which was about the only thing he liked about paperwork. The phone rang for about the tenth time that hour. He was going to ignore it until he noticed that the call was coming from a line off the Base. Rolling his eyes he picked up the annoying device.
"General O'Neill." He answered irritably.
"Daniel," Jack interrupted "I thought I told you to take a few weeks off. What's up?"
"Jack?" Daniel asked in a overly sweet tone. "You...you wouldn't happened to have signed any Death Certificates lately?"
"None at all?" Daniel pressed.
"Not that I can think of."
"Not even one with my name on it?"
"Oooh..." Jack said as he recalled. "Yeah, I guess I did."
"You...guess." Daniel repeated icily.
"It was just a ruse, we didn't think you were dead." Jack explained. "Sam held the wake this time. It was lovely...we had shrimp."
"And you never thought to tell me?"
"It slipped my mind."
"I'm going to kill you." Daniel suddenly growled.
Sam stepped into Jack's office. When she saw that he was on the phone she started to duck back out, however Jack smiled brightly and waved her inside. She watched quietly as Jack turned his attention back to the phone call.
"Yeah, I heard you. What's the big deal?" Jack listened for a moment and then a look of shocked mirth fell over his face. "What?! You're kidding? ...No, no, I am taking this seriously. ...Wipe what look off my face? ...Okay, okay, calm down, Danny. I'll be there as soon as I can, don't...uh...don't go anywhere."
Jack put down the receiver and just stared at it for a second. Sam shifted her weight nervously. Snapping out of his quick daze Jack hunted down his car keys and stood.
"Sir?" Sam asked. "Something wrong?"
"Daniel's been arrested." Jack replied casually.
"He was trying to replace his car."
"And they arrested him? Why?"
"Insurance fraud." Jack smiled.
"Insurance fraud?" Sam repeated skeptically. "Daniel...our Daniel?"
"For impersonating a deceased person on a claim..."
THE END of Hotwired...next up: Rewired.