A/N: Not sure if you noticed, but with this storyline...Lilly and Logan never dated. And Veronica never dated Duncan. And by the time this story's present started they were 16 (Lilly 17). I think if Lilly never dated Logan then she wouldn't have gotten with Aaron and never gotten killed. Make sense? I don't know. Also, because of the revelations at 13, Logan and Veronica became very close over the years...Anyays. It continues...Enjoy. R&R! Thanks. -Mac
Disclaimer: I still don't own...
Wish I Could Disappear
"Thanks for the ride, Logan. I just wasn't trusting my car this morning." Veronica said as she hopped out of Logan's Xterra in the school parking lot.
"It's no problem, Ronnie." Logan responded slipping an arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the buildings.
"I really wish you would stop calling me that." Veronica rolled her eyes at the nickname he had blessed her with so long ago.
"Sure thing." Logan agreed, but Veronica knew it would be short lived. "Hey, Ronnie, do you need a ride home?"
Veronica sighed, "I'm sure my dad might be able to get me...my mom is incapacitated."
"Again, Veronica?" Logan looked concerned.
"It's nearly everyday now. And she's going to meet him more and more." Veronica looked around to make sure no one would hear her next comment. "I think my dad is suspicious and I know Celeste is suspicious."
"Veronica, I didn't realize it was so..."
"I know you didn't."
They started walking again, and they had gone a ways before Logan spoke again. "You can catch a ride home with me. I'd like to talk to you about something important."
"Logan, do you mean..."
"Not here, Ronnie. Go on and meet Lilly. We'll talk about it later." Logan smiled, gesturing her toward Lilly's locker after they entered the building.
"Okay, but...We're going to really talk about this right? This isn't going to be some kind of worthless waste of time. You're going to mean this, right?" Veronica questioned, speaking fast.
"Yeah, Ronnie." Logan nodded, then to lighten the mood he said, "Now run along."
Veronica laughed as she turned around to go join Lilly at her locker. Logan watched her for a moment before heading over to meet Duncan. He didn't know how they would leave behind the good. What he did know was that the good would never be good enough until they left behind the bad.
Veronica unlocked the door to her house and let Logan and herself in. She had talked to her dad and he said he was going to be working late. As she checked around for her mom, she discovered both her car and she were gone. Veronica let out a sigh as she stepped back into the house from the garage.
"Gone?" Logan asked.
"Gone." Veronica answered simply.
"So..." Logan started, but trailed off.
"Let's talk." Veronica stated firmly. "What do you have to say?"
"You're so forward." Logan joked with a smirk.
"Logan, I'm serious." Veronica replied evenly. She sat down at her kitchen table to wait for his response.
"Look Ronnie, I think we should..." Logan trailed off and sat down in a chair next to her. "How are we supposed to pull this off? I mean, your dad is the Sheriff! As soon as he figures out that you're gone, he'll hvae everyone and their mother looking for us, you. And when they do, they'll bring us right back here, back to everything we've tried to escape. We'll have accomplished nothing."
"You want to do it, though." Veronica said softly.
"Veronica, I really think we need to be very clear on the fact that we might not be able to do this...whether we want to or not." Logan explained himself. "There are things that are keeping us here, obstacles in our way...We're not going to be able to just pick up and leave and expect no one to notice we're gone."
"I know that Logan." Veronica nodded, "But the least we could do is try...Get a few days of freedom, without worry or troubles."
"I would love that, if we could pull it off." Logan shook his head. "I don't think we can."
"I do. I think we can. I can get my dad off our backs for a couple days."
"How do you expect to do that Ronnie?" Logan raised an eyebrow in question.
"He'll understand Logan. I can make him understand." Veronica responded. "He'll let us be for a little while so we can figure everything out. You can tell you parents you're going on the surfing trip with Duncan and Dick--they won't even think twice when you're not back on Monday. It's spring break. We won't miss school unless we go for longer than the week. We can do this."
"I don't know Veronica."
"Logan, you need this. I need this." Veronica replied softly, looking down at her hands. "I can't take this anymore--living with her and her lies. I can't stand her coming home thrashed like it's normal. I can't stand the alcohol on her breath, the lies on my father's tongue. I can't stand it anymore."
As if to punctuate her point, that direct moment the front door opened and Lianne Mars stumbled in. Veronica flinched when the door slammed behind her mother. Logan's hands instinctively searched out Veronica's and held them tightly. Lianne walked into the kitchen and it took her a moment to notice her daughter and her friend.
"Logan Echolls." Lianne slurred. "What a change from the Kane boy..."
"Hello, Mrs. Mars." Logan resonded, but he kept his eyes trained on Veronica.
"Veronica darling, I have a headache. I'm going to go to bed early." Lianne stated in the least believable tone Veronica had ever heard.
"Okay." Veronica nodded, turned away from her mom. It was barely after four in the afternoon, but it was useless to verbalize that fact.
"I feel like I'm breaking apart completely, sometimes." Logan replied once Lianne had left the room.
"I feel like that all the time. I feel like my life is being torn apart at the seams and I have zero control over it." Veronica agreed. "I just tolerate everything that goes on--knowing I can't put a stop to it--but I'm through with it. But I can't do it alone."
"I hate that you've had to go through this alone." Logan said quietly. "I mean your dad..."
"I hate that Lilly and Duncan don't know what's going on in their family. I hate that my Dad can stay with her when all he gets from her is pain. I hate that no matter what I say or do I can't change what has happened to my family." Veronica rambled on, emotionally. "I hate that my Dad, my family, might not even be that."
"What?" Logan questioned.
"I told you that day--when we told each other our secrets and made this promise--that I put two and two together to know who she was with. I hear something that made me suspect that this has gone on a lot longer than I had prevoiusly thought."
"How much longer?"
"Long enough that there might be a possibility that Keith Mars isn't my father and that Jake Kane is." Veronica answered. "I finally connected why my mom despised Duncan so much when he liked me during Freshmen year. She didn't want me to date a boy that could possibly be my brother."
"I never knew Duncan liked you." Logan murmured as he let it all sink in.
"He hid it pretty well after I turned him down. I didn't want to mess up our friendship. And my friendship with Lilly." Veronica responded. "And it didn't help that his dad and my mom are...well, you know."
"Do you really think we could do this?" Logan sighed, knowing he had given in to the idea of it.
"Yes I do. I think we could." Veronica nodded, looking up at Logan.
In this world they were drowing in pain. They suffered with each turn. Logan had never believed he could escape it, but with Veronica there urging him on he was starting to. He felt as if his world was spinning out of control and crumbling to bits. He imagined she felt the same. If there was anything he could do to change it, he was going to do it. If it didn't work out then at least he tried and that's what mattered in the end.
"Then let's do it."