A/N: Another Harry/Draco fic. This one is extremely silly. Nighttime adventures, broomclosets, getting caught. And the Weasley Twins make an appearance too! The idea came from a friend, who wanted me to write a fic in which Harry and Draco get caught in a broomcloset by Fred and George. Hope it makes you laugh. And please review, because reviews make the world go round. If you spot any mistakes, spelling, grammar, or otherwise, feel free to point them out!
Monday nights are boring. No one ever expects a whole lot of anything to occur on a Monday night. But at eleven o'clock on a Monday, things were most definitely occurring.
From a rarely-used broom closet on the third floor, noises were audible. They weren't very loud noises, or ones particularly designed to catch attention, but if one were to stand very close to the door and press their ear against it, they would know.
"Draco… Oh shit, watch out for that box."
"… Maybe this broom closet wasn't the best idea?"
"What about if I do this?"
"Never mind. Now, where were we again?"
"That's more like it."
Upstairs in an abandoned hallway, noises of a much different caliber were about to occur.
"Fred, are you sure about this?'
"Of course I'm sure, George. When did you become such a ninny?"
"I'm not. I just can't believe we've been reduced to pulling pranks just to wake Filch up. Sure, the wanker will probably piss himself, and sure, it'll be quite hilarious. But there's something, I don't know, lame to it."
"Frankly, I don't really care. I haven't pulled a prank in almost a month, and if you make me wait any longer, I think I might just explode."
"Alright, fine. I still don't like it, though."
"Good. Help me push this statue over."
A resounding boom echoed down the hall. For a moment, all was silent. Then, from the floor above, came the faint sounds of enraged shouting.
"Well, that was louder than I thought it would be."
Back in the broom closet, things were getting rather steamy.
"Harry, it's too dark in here. I can't see your pants zipper."
"Find it anyway.'
"What the hell was that, Harry?"
"I haven't got a clue."
"Ok then. Where were we?"
"That's the attitude I love."
On the fourth floor, a staircase was the only escape.
"Quick, Fred, this way!"
"Where does this thing lead again?"
"To the third floor, dunce. Can't you see the stairs moving downwards?"
"But can't we find a staircase that goes upstairs?'
"No, Fred, we can't. We kind of need to be running from Filch right now, not looking for specific staircases."
"But the Gryffindor Common Room is upstairs."
"If we go downstairs, that means we'll have to go farther to get back to the Common Room."
"You are so lazy! You're the one who wanted to pull this stupid prank in the first place, and now you don't even want to run away properly, and– "
"Oooh, a broom closet. Let's hide there!"
"Harry, do you hear that?"
"It sounds like footsteps."
"I think you're imagining things. Now come back here so I can kiss you some more."
"Are you sure? I think they're in the hall outside; it sounds like they're getting closer."
"Draco, I'm not wearing any pants and unless you want me to put them back on, get over here."
"Wait, Fred, did you hear that?"
"Those noises. They're coming from inside the closet."
"I don't hear anything, George. Come on, Filch is coming! Open the door already, and hurry!"
The broom closet door flung open and a good deal of screaming ensued.
"…Draco, you scream like a girl."
"Thanks ever so, Harry."
"What are you two doing here?"
"Harry, why aren't you wearing any pants?"
"Fred, you dolt! What's the usual reason for someone to be pants-less while in the company of someone else?"
"Harry, you're shagging Malfoy?!"
"To put it in simple terms, yeah, he is."
"Is he any good?"
"Sorry. Just curious…. Well, is he?"
It was in this condition that Filch found them. It is highly debatable whether he actually noticed the state they were in; such was his joy at finally catching students out of bed after curfew. But even if he didn't, Dumbledore certainly did.
"Well," said the Headmaster, pushing his glasses further up his nose and looking down at his four nighttime visitors. "I do believe that you gentlemen take the cake for the most compromising situation ever brought to my attention."
Instantly there was an uproar.
"George and I weren't involved in that!"
"We just pushed over the statue upstairs!"
"It's not what it looks like!"
"It was all Harry's fault!"
"Well if you weren't so damned sexy, I wouldn't feel the need to snog you in broom closets, now would I?"
"Whoa! Hold up! Fred and I did not need to hear that!"
"We most certainly did not!"
Dumbledore sat back in his chair, very clearly amused. "Gentlemen, please," he said, interlocking his fingers over the desktop. All four of them quieted in response. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying, I don't think I've ever seen such an… interesting display, either during the school day or, as the case is now, in the late night hours. I must admit that I am quite unsure how to handle it."
He looked back and forth from a flustered Fred and George, who both had paint on their hands from vandalizing statues, to Harry and Draco, who were both missing various articles of clothing and sporting rather swollen lips. His eyes twinkled.
"However, I have come to the conclusion that the most appropriate course of action would be to award you all a detention. And I should probably take away house points, while I'm at it. The four of you will be expected to clean the potions classroom tomorrow night; Professor McGonagall will be there to oversee your detention. Now I highly recommend that you trot along to bed before it gets any later; you will be expected in class first thing tomorrow morning despite all your late night drama."
The next day, there was a general confusion amongst the school body over how house points from both Slytherin and Gryffindor had been lost over night. Amongst friends, there was a general confusion over how Harry, Draco, Fred, and George had all managed to get detention. The four boys never said a word; they had decided that maybe it might be best to keep the details of the previous night's adventure between themselves.