Title: Ack! I wrote something about Riley!
Author: Goldy... except I think that my evil twin had control over my body when I wrote this one.
Disclaimer: Who do ya think? The big J man, maybe? The one who had a terrible, terrible dialogue between Buffy and Riley in 'The Yoko Factor'? The one that destroyed Buffy and Angel? The evil evil genius man? Yep, Joss Whedon. He owns them-not me. Most of this dialogue is from 'The Yoko Factor' but I changed some of it to make it more the way I think it should have been.
Synopsis: Riley's POV during the conversation the Buffy and him had after she finished talking with Angel. I changed the dialogue so it has a B/A twist in it if that makes any sense...
A/N: I really don't know how I came up with this. I realize that this episode happened almost two years ago and I should get over it already, but I really didn't think that the conversation Buffy and Riley had after Buffy and Angel talked was very good. I wanted to get inside of Riley's head and sort of try to understand the B/R relationship. And just a little side note... I still don't understand it!
Feedback: if anyone is actually reading this right now-I don't really know why, but I love feedback! So, pretty pretty please?
Rating: G

I'm standing here in my girlfriend's room considering my position. My head, arms, and legs all hurt from bruises or cuts that I obtained. But I hardly noticed as my mind went a million miles an hour.

She was standing out there right now talking to him. I struggled against the urge to go out and beat him with my bare hands. But I'm not quite that stupid-I've already seen and felt what he could do to me. I know that I would stand a chance, but I still want to go out and hurt him-I want him to feel pain like me.

I don't want to loose her. I've changed since I've met Buffy. She made me more open to other people. It's not like I've never had a girlfriend before-but I've never had one who I'm so in love with. Although, that's clearly not the way that Buffy feels about me.

When she came in I only allowed myself one weary glance at her. She looked about as bad as I felt.

"How bad are you hurt?" Buffy asked and I thought that I actually heard concern in her voice, but I wasn't hoping.

"Not sure yet. The night's still young." I answered trying to sound as manly as possible.

"I have something to tell you."

"Figured," I said with disappointment. This was it-we were breaking up. I could feel it.

"Maybe you should sit down," the love of my life suggested.

"I'm fine."

"Riley..." she started.

I held up my hand. "No look, I think that in the past few months we've gotten really close and I feel that we can share anything."

Buffy gave me a weird look, "What are you trying to say?"

"Look I just think.... Did you have sex with Angel?" I blurted and then cringed. Great way to be gentle about it.

Buffy's eyebrows shot up and she didn't bother to hide her surprise. "What...? You think that Angel and I.... How did you decide this?"

I shrugged feeling numb at this point. All hope that she and him... didn't, left me quick. "Xander. He explained the trigger-how Angel went bad."

Buffy's face softened and she even managed to give me a small smile. I stared at her blankly, having no idea what she could be happy about. "Xander," she said softly and shook her head. "Riley, we didn't. I would never do that to you."

I blinked a couple of times as her words hit home. Licking my licks guiltily I mumbled "Oh."

She smiled at me again, "Xander is so getting an ass kicking."

"No, I pushed... it was my fault. I'm sorry," I explained and even tried to smile, but it think it came out rather flat.

Buffy didn't smile. "Have I ever given you a reason to feel you couldn't trust me?"

I shook my head feeling intense relief. Buffy had gone to LA. She had been with her ex-boyfriend whom she had been madly in love with. Still might be madly in love with for all I knew, but the important thing was she chose me.

Buffy chose me. Nothing else mattered. Except I still didn't trust Angel. "What about the fact that he was bad?"

Buffy looked at me and chuckled, "He wasn't bad."

My eyebrows shot up. This was news. I looked at her in confusion... and then it hit me.

I was acting like a big jealous looser.

"Oh," I said slowly concentrating very hard on the spot behind her head as I sat down on her bed.

"What brought this on?" she asked plopping down next to me.

I looked at her pleadingly-wondering whether or not to tell her what I was feeling. I didn't want to sound like a sissy, but I figured that it was a little too late for that. "Because I'm so in love with you I can't think straight," I admitted trying to gauge her reaction.

Buffy looked at me tenderly and reached up to gently touch my face. "Tell me about it," she whispered.

I sighed in relief and pulled her against me. I felt secure in the knowledge that Buffy wanted to be with me. But, I still had this strange nagging feeling in the back of my head. It was telling me that Buffy was only with me because she couldn't be with Angel. That voice in the back of my head was saying that if she had a chance to be with him she would chose him over me in an instant.

I took a deep breath and asked the question that had been bothering me ever since I found out that Buffy fell in love with a vampire. "So, if Angel magically turned human tomorrow you would stay with me?"

Buffy pulled away from me and I could tell from the expression on her face that something was wrong. "I still need to tell you something. And-there's no way to..."

"Just say it," I said with a reasonable amount of fear. What could possibly be wrong now???

"Forrest is dead."

I stared at her-hearing the words but not understanding them. Forest couldn't be dead. He was too good a soldier. He would never do anything stupid like that. Buffy had to be wrong. There was no other explanation.

"I'm so sorry... there was a fight. Adam killed him. I barely got away," she whispered.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I knew then that her words were true. Buffy wouldn't lie about something like that. Plus, the cut above her eye really helped her story. But I still can't believe it...

"I know nothing I say can make things better. But I swear to you, we will find and destroy this thing. Right now you need time. Take what you need. I can..."

"I have to go," I interrupted sharply cutting off the speech that I hadn't been paying attention to.

"Are you sure? You..." she tried.

"Have to go now." I said getting up and moving out the door. There was only one thing I could do to help Forrest. Get revenge.

I ran out of the college and kept my sprint up down the street. I was almost to my destination when it hit me like a punch in the stomach.

She never answered my question.