Disclaimers: Not mine
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Written for Lacuna-Coil-Girl, who requested it on my journal on DA.
"Yup. Why not? It's not like we have anything else to do." smiled Kisame
After two weeks full of missions, the two of them were finally given a few days off by Sir Leader and Kisame intended to use them to their fullest. And spoiling Itachi-san was a good way to do it, even if the I'm-so-not-impressed look his partner was giving him was a sure indication of some future uncooperative behaviour.
"Do you realize that we are S-class criminals and, as such, every nin out there has our face in their Bingo book, don't you?" asked Itachi
"But we've never been on a date before." whined the blue-skinned nin
"We have gone out multiple times together..." stated the black haired man
"All the scouting and spying during missions doesn't count." pouted Kisame
Itachi glared at his partner and sighed. What the hell was wrong with his partner? The Konoha nin was content with just them being together, even if they were doing nothing. Hell, he even enjoyed the rare times when Kisame would actually try and read 'Icha Icha Quests' aloud to 'heat things up'. Not that he had any intention of telling him that.
He was so engrossed in his thinking that he didn't even notice that Kisame had stopped blabbering and was looking at him with a curious and half-concerned look.
"But if you don't want to go... I guess that's alright, too." conceded the larger man
Itachi bit his lip and diverted his eyes from the still form of his lover. He had this nagging sensation in the back of his head that told him that this date would be hell but he wanted to please Kisame, even if it was just going out and eat something.
"We'll go out this evening. I heard that there's a new tea shop in the village."
Had he been looking, Kisame's smile would have blinded him.
"How did it turn out this way?" grumbled Kisame, wet from head to toe
During their walk to the village the sky had turned from Sunset Red to Awful Black and in a few minutes the two missing nins were drenched by the freezing rain. They had run in the village and had found shelter under a small balcony near the village's gates. Their date could not really turn out better than this, could it? Kisame's mood was as dark as the raining clouds up in the sky.
He had moved his body to stand between his partner and the rain, effectively trapping him against the wall, and was reading himself for Itachi-san's disapproving glare. When the younger just watched him calmly, Kisame frowned.
"You're not angry." stated the blue-skinned man
Haha, here comes the glare.
"Why should I? It's not like the rain is your fault."
True, thought Kisame. But it was his idea to go out on a date. His finger caught a rain drop that was making his way down his partner's cheek and noticed how cold the fair skin felt. They would need to hurry back to the hideout and change before the freezing rain could make Itachi-san sick.
"We could use a transportation jutsu to go back..."
"No. We're here and we're drenched. We should go to the tea shop to warm up and wait for the rain to stop."
Kisame had to admit that, for all his initial reticence, Itachi was hell bent on doing this 'date thing'. Was his partner a closet romantic too, perhaps? He grinned toothily at the young man, touching their bare foreheads together, their hitai-ate left in their room.
"We should go." murmured Itachi, a hint of red colouring his pale cheeks
Kisame's attempt to kiss that cheek was met with the application of a sticky explosion tag on his mouth.
The tea that was brought to them was murky in colour and smelled vaguely like fertilizer.
The two missing nins looked at each other, silently daring the other one to drink first. Even if the shop owner had recognized them, he wouldn't dare to poison them in a so obvious fashion, would he? And Itachi was giving him a pointed look that clearly said 'No way in hell I'm drinking this'.
But their date had already had an awful start, with the rain and everything. And when they arrived at the tea shop the queue was so long that their cloaks had the time to dry up and become uncomfortably warm. The shop owner was lucky that customers had to pay in advance for the tea, because even a whiff at the smelly concoction would have made everyone run away without leaving a ryo.
But now the two of them were sitting comfortably at a round table in a corner with their orders in front of them and Kisame desperately wanted for something to go the right way during their date. What if Itachi didn't want to go out with him anymore because of the trauma?
So Kisame took the cup and brought it to his lips, Itachi-san's eyes never leaving his face. The smell was nearly overpowering but he managed to take a small sip. Only to spit it out in the cup with a meek 'plop'.
Having Hidan as a cook meant that most of their dinners looked like living nightmares that, if poked, would sometimes poke back, but at least they tasted good. Really good in fact. The strange tea smelled like fertilizer, looked like muck and tasted like dirt. A full tris of shit.
Itachi-san gave him a patronizing look and stretched over the table to touch their foreheads together, just as Kisame had done before. Then he tipped out his tongue and traced the contour of Kisame's lips in an unhurried pace.
"You're right. It tastes horrible." smiled the black haired nin against the other's lips
Kisame pecked his partner's lips and then pouted.
"I guess this is the end of our date, isn't it?"
Itachi didn't really need to answer to convey his feeling on the matter.
At least the rain had stopped about halfway to the hideout, but the two nin still managed to get wet and cold. The Konoha nin didn't spare his partner a word and went to their bathroom to take a shower, leaving Kisame sitting on his bed, all sad and wet.
After a few minutes Itachi came out of the bathroom, still dressed in his wet clothes. Kisame frowned. It wasn't healthy for his Itachi-san to stay in those drenched pants and fishnet. Maybe he was already sick.
/...such nice nipples./
"I was thinking about having another one." said Itachi
Kisame wondered, for the first time in years, if his partner had completely lost it. Or maybe the one that he went out with that night wasn't really his partner but another person. That would make much more sense than this.
"Another date? You're kidding me, Itachi-san. Dates suck."
"Yes, another date. You'll meet me at the hideout's kitchen at 7 PM."
And up went Kisame's eyebrows. The hideout's kitchen? Now Kisame was totally sure that his partner had lost his marbles. Itachi smiled a little as if nothing happened.
"Then we'll eat a bowl of instant ramen and we'll cuddle on the sofa, watching 'Real Ninjas' for the umpteenth time. How does this sound for a date?"
Kisame looked baffled for a moment and then jumped his partner, kissing the breath out of him, before running to the bathroom to prepare for their date.
A/N: I find it amusing that, whatever prompt they throw at me, I still manage to completely destroy it. Well, I hope you'll like it! Not your usual date but... In real life the tea was an Ananas 'granita' (crushed ice drink) and all of my friends agreed that it tasted like muck.