I guess you could call this a prequel to my story 'He Thought He Knew'
Warning: CosmoXTimmy yaoi,slash, whatever you call it, little bit of angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own Timmy or Cosmo but I do own the plot if I did own Timmy and Cosmo...FOP wouldn't be a kids show anymore if you catch my drift so be thankful! I don't own the song either it's called "If Your Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield. I highly recommend listening to the song while your reading this!
la la la la-song,
la la la la-story,
Cosmo paced around the small bedroom almost as if he were nervous but he had a right to be nervous! He sighed as he placed his head in his hands. "Why have I gotten myself into this mess?" he whispered to darkness around him. He glanced at the clock that read 10:03pm before walking over to the bed that was placed under the window and sat down on it. He once again placed his head into his hands and almost started shaking. It wasn't from the cold but if you could describe what he was feeling in just one word...you couldn't. If he had to use words to describe what he felt he knew it would be a tie between fear and anticipation.
He was excited about what was about to happen but he also feared what could happen. 'How am I gonna control myself with him that near? I can hardly control myself when he's three feet away let alone three inches' he thought gloomy. He raised his head to find that he was still alone in the darkness and leaned back on the bed letting his weight fall on his shoulders as the memory of earlier that evening struck him.
"Isn't it beautiful?" asked a voice beside him. Cosmo turned his head to see his just recent 13 year old god-child looking up into the orange tinted sky. He couldn't help but smile as his heart did flips in his throat at the sight of the last bits of rays from the sun making the younger ones skin seem to glow. He turned his head to face the sunset but made sure his eyes stayed at the sight of Timmy glowing when he replied "Yeah, it is"
Cosmo's eyes finally left the young teen and traveled toward the sky. Almost unconsciously he slowly leaned back till his back hit the rooftop of the Turner house. He raised his hands behind his head and used them as a pillow without even noticing Timmy had done the exact same thing. Just 5 minutes ago he and Timmy were playing go fish inside his bedroom since Wanda was visiting her family for a vacation. Both were content with just each others presences but then Timmy had looked out the window to see the sun setting and had wished to go onto the roof for a better view.
Without a second of a doubt Timmy laid down right next to him, his elbow barely brushing the others. Cosmo felt him lay down and couldn't help his poor heart that was doing all sorts of flips and tricks in his throat as a warm feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. Even though he hated himself for asking this Cosmo turned his head away from his god child and questioned "Have you gotten your tux ready for tomorrow nights dance?"
Timmy was slightly surprised at the question but never the less he answered saying "Yeah Wanda tailored it for me before she went." Cosmo thought that conversation would end right there but it didn't "I'm still wondering if I should even go"
Cosmo turned his head to see Timmy still looking into the darkening sky and asked "Why?"
Timmy shrugged his shoulders slightly as he answered "It's not about the girls or anything it's just..."
"What?" he asked quietly. Timmy slowly lifted his back off the roof and pulled up his knees to his chest while surrounding them with his arms and placing his chin on his right knee.
"Usually at our old dances they just played random songs and all of us just randomly start dancing with random people but now...now we have to have dates, and that's not exactly a bad thing but...I can't..." Cosmo sat up and went far enough to put his hand on the younger ones shoulder as Timmy tried to find the words. Suddenly he just blurted it out.
"I CAN"T DANCE TO THE SLOW SONGS!" right after his left hand went to cover his mouth like what he had just said was the worst thing he could possibly say as Cosmo restrained himself from laughing in the poor teens face. He eventually just smiled and stated "Is that what your so nervous about? I bet your not that bad"
"Oh yeah" said Timmy "before Wanda left and you two were discussing...something downstairs did you here a couple of crashes upstairs?"
"Yeah so?" he questioned
"That was me...with the broom" Timmy stated while blushing.
"The broom?" he asked.
"I was trying to practice slow dancing with a broom ok!" he almost yelled.
"But I thought that was your mom in the kitchen" said Cosmo.
Timmy lifted his index finger into the air while replying "My mom crashed once...I crashed 5 TIMES!"
"Well why didn't you ask Wanda to help you out before she left?" he asked.
"I did but that was day that she announced that she was going and when I asked her she said she had too many things to do so she couldn't and everybody else was too busy so...um...Cosmo...would you mind if..."
'Please don't ask what I think your about to ask. Please don't ask what I think your about to ask. PLEASE don't'
"Would you mind if you taught me?"
Timmy was blushing slightly as he looked away from Cosmo "You don't have to I just..."
'Say no you idiot! Your life will be a whole lot easier if you just SAY NO!
"Sure why not"
'Damn it! I need more self control'
Timmy's blush quickly disappeared as the biggest grin grew on his face "Really?" Cosmo nodded and was soon tackled by a pink blur which he noted later on was Timmy. It was Cosmo's turn to blush as the teen wrapped his thin arms around his waist and carefully rested his head on the crook of his neck and practically yelled "Thank you!"
Even though he knew he was way too close then he should be Cosmo couldn't help but smile and he said "Your welcome...but when do you wanna practice?" They separated none to early for Cosmo but Timmy was still close enough that the warm feeling in his stomach never left him.
He was almost afraid of the answer but before Timmy did answer he had wished them back in his room. With a flick of his wand and a poof of smoke they both stood in the silent bedroom as Timmy cupped his chin with his hand in a way that Cosmo wanna hold him again but he stood his ground. Suddenly they both heard a familiar female voice yell "Timmy! Time for supper" It was then Cosmo could see a light bulb clicking above Timmy head as he snapped his fingers "Aha why don't I have supper then once I come back we'll both freshen up or whatever and while my parents are asleep we'll practice"
Cosmo nodded his head as he saw Timmy race to the door and yell behind him "See ya!"
Cosmo heard a door creak and lifted his head off his left shoulder and was pretty damn sure that he was looking at an angel. Timmy stood next to the door of his bathroom with nothing special on, just a pair of slightly baggy faded blue jeans and a slightly wrinkled T-shirt, he wasn't even wearing his pink hat so his hair that had grown to almost touching his shoulder was slightly ruffled. He was also bare foot but Cosmo didn't care he lifted himself off the bed and slowly raised his right hand in front of him showing Timmy what to do.
Without hesitation Timmy placed his own hand on top Cosmo's and slowly walked toward him and he couldn't help but notice that Cosmo looked...handsome. He even stopped breathing for a second as Cosmo's hand grasped his slightly tighter. "Ready?" he asked whispering it to where even if someone else was in the room they wouldn't of heard it. Even though Timmy didn't know yet if he was ready or not he nodded his head and took another step toward him.
With his heart racing like a race car engine on full speed he carefully brought his other hand to where it laid on Timmy's waist line. Timmy's heart was racing as well as he took his other hand and placed it on his god-parents shoulder. They stayed like that till Cosmo raised his wand and poofed the stereo that was in the room to play a soft love song that just happened to have been playing on one of the more romantic channels.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
They both thought the same thing 'Great...why did have to be this song?'
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Almost unintenionally both of them looked at theirs hands entwined with the others and blushed but both ignored it. Timmy looked down to where his feet were and heard Cosmo slowly counting "one,two,three,one,two,three,one,two...three" and soon he could feel the embarrassment and uneasiness slip away as if it was taken away by the soft music that seems to flow around them like water.
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
Cosmo led him through the steps carefully to make sure that Timmy understood them perfectly and every time he was about to fall or trip Cosmo helped him regain balance and let the dance continue on.
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
Even though Timmy was doing much better than he had when he was dancing with the broom he felt something rise in his chest around his heart. It was warm yet at the same time it made him uneasy. Ever since he became 13 his feelings towards Cosmo had changed. Things he did that should've annoyed him just made him laugh. Things he did that made him laugh made him laugh harder. Before he had no great need of hugs from anyone but now and then he felt like he could never get close enough to him.
I never know what the future brings
He began to notice the little things about his male godparent. Like when he was close enough he could smell a hint of lime or whenever he was sad his hand immediately went to his pocket where Phillip the nickel laid...or when he was mad at Wanda for something he would always go to him to talk about it.
But I know you are here with me now
And sometimes like right now he felt like all he would do anything to gaze into those emerald eyes and let the world melt around them...but he kept his eyes glued to the floor for more than one reason.
We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Cosmo kept counting the beats as if were just part of a routine now...which it was and slowly took his mind off the dancing and more about his dance partner. Timmy kept his head downward as if looking at his feet calmed him down. He had said he was pretty bad but once they had gotten into the sequence Timmy was a pretty good dancer. Cosmo silently wished that Timmy would raise his head so he could look into those beautiful sapphire eyes again but he knew that if Timmy did such a thing he would have to avoid his gaze at all costs because he knew one look in one of those eyes would make him lose control.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
Without even thinking about the consequences Timmy, with half closed eyes, slowly placed his head onto Cosmo's chest right where his heart was. He felt Cosmo stiffen right when his head made contact but after a moment he loosened up. Timmy was glad for this because the last thing he wanted was Cosmo pushing him away.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Instantly Cosmo felt his face heat up along with his heart, who was doing enough back flips already, almost just stopped beating. But Timmy slow steady breathing against his chest actually calmed him. He looked down upon the mass of chocolate brown hair and slowly placed his chin on it and inhaled the intoxicating scent of the shampoo that he knew Timmy used and that also calmed him down.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Timmy felt something kinda heavy lay on his head but an instant later knew it was Cosmo's head and he didn't mind whatsoever. In fact he liked it so much he pulled himself closer to Cosmo so he could lay his head on his collarbone. Both felt their breathing match and felt their hearts beat together.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
'You don't know...do you?' thought Cosmo sadly. 'You don't know how much I love you. You don't know how much joy this brings me to know that you trust me enough to do this...but you also don't know how much this is hurting me...knowing that after tonight I'll only be able to look not touch. I've been hurting before this but now I know what it's like to hold you...I know now what it's like to feel your warmth all around me and after tonight I'll want more...I don't think I'll even be able to stay in the same room with you after this'
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
'Cosmo, I...I love you so much. I can't believe it's taken me almost 3 years to realize how much I love you. My friends...Sanjay and Elmer, my best friends...Chester and A.J. I had always considered you to be my bestest friend...you did everything they didn't. Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on you were there...and afterwards if I was still sad you made me laugh...you were always there for me...weren't you? I just haven't noticed before. How...how can I show you how much you mean to me?'
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
'Why?...Why do I love you?...Someone so forbidden to me that I shouldn't even be considering it...we're both male...I'm human, your a fairy...your...married'
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Cosmo slid his hand, that was on Timmy's waist, to the middle of his back almost like he was afraid that if he let go he'd lose him forever. His grip on Timmy's hand tightened when he heard that particular line in the song. He was doing nothing but betraying Wanda's trust and love by loving Timmy...strangely though, with Timmy's head on his chest and with them dancing in the moon light...he didn't care. But all he knew for a moment after that thought was that he had a sense of falling...which is what was happening.
I don't know why you're so far away
Somehow their legs had gotten tangled up and one misstep took them flying down onto the floor. They made a very loud crash and Cosmo was very glad that Timmy had wished his room to be sound proof as both were bruised in both physical health and pride. Timmy knew now that his back and lower were sore as hell. Since Cosmo could fly he had no problem except when he saw Timmy fall his instant reaction was to catch him but their combined weight just sent him down with him. So Cosmo knew that one of his hands hurt like hell since he had tried to soften the landing by placing his hand under them ready to pull them back up. At the moment both pairs of eyes were closed and when they slowly opened they saw something that they didn't expect.
But I know that this much is true
For the first time in what seemed like forever sapphire eyes met emerald and vice versa, and both blushed considering the fact that if one of them moved another inch he would be kissing the other! Plus the position they were in didn't really help anything. Timmy was laying flat out with his back on the floor while Cosmo hovered over him with one hand placed over their heads and the other still clutching Timmy's.
We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with...
Right at that moment Cosmo was very grateful for that one hand that throbbed so much because if it wasn't for his hand springing into action, his face wouldn't be one inch away from Timmy's oh no, his face would be IN Timmy's face. Timmy's eyes widened when he realized how close Cosmo's body was to his and how...warm it felt to have him this close. Cosmo tried to calm himself but it was very hard to do when he could feel the younger one's breath on his lips and with those sapphire eyes looking into his very soul.
And I wish that you could be the one I die with...
Without warning Cosmo lifted himself with his wings fluttering and for a second Timmy was confused, one moment he felt warmth but then in the next moment it was gone. He blinked in confusion but then saw the source of the warmth bending down reaching out his hand with a sort of ashamed smile. He quickly took the hand into his own and was soon lifted back onto his feet.
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with...
"L-Let's try that again" stated Cosmo while trying not to stutter too much. Timmy nodded and they both got into the same position as before including him laying his head on the others chest and letting Cosmo rest his chin on his head.
I hope I love you all my life
They began where they left off and soon they were both drowned in their own lonely thoughts.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
Timmy's thoughts centered on the fall that had happened not 30 seconds ago. He had been so close. When he looked into his god parents eyes he saw so many emotions that matched his own. It had felt so right to be that close. He closed his eyes and felt a single tear fall down his cheek but thankfully Cosmo didn't notice his tears.
I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Cosmo didn't notice because he had closed his eyes as well. He had come so close to losing control. If he hadn't flown off of Timmy he would've done the unforgivable. He had been so close to those soft lips and those sapphire eyes...it's like they were trying to pull him closer. Now another feeling rose up in him...pain. His heart felt like like it was being torn apart. The pain he felt before was nothing compared to this.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Both were so lost in their thoughts they didn't even notice they had stopped dancing. Now they were just holding onto each other for dear life. Standing perfectly still...both wondering why this song was so close to the truth. And they stayed like that till Cosmo felt something wet on his shirt.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
Cosmo slowly pulled his head away and the hand that was laying on his back went up to cup Timmy's face to make him look up. They were now standing in the very center of the small bedroom to where the moonlight fell gracefully upon them but Cosmo wasn't thinking about himself...the moonlight surrounding Timmy made him look like an angel sent down from heaven. He was so beautiful to him there that Cosmo felt his breath get caught in his throat and his heart race up once again.
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Timmy looked up and couldn't doubt any longer that he loved Cosmo. The warm feeling in the pit of his stomach became like a fire heating up his entire body as he gazed into those beautiful eyes...but something doused the fire very quickly. The pain...the knowledge that Cosmo would never love him that way is what doused the fire within and he feel his heart break once more...
'I wish...I wish I could tell you how I truly feel'
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
Cosmo's eyes widened as he saw a tear slowly crawl down Timmy's cheek. Since Timmy didn't make a move, Cosmo slowly raised his hand and brushed away the tear with his thumb and saw him close his eyes at his touch almost as if he was relishing it. Cosmo winced visibly when he saw him close his eyes 'He doesn't know how much this is killing me' he thought and he felt tears gather in his own eyes as well but he refused to let them fall...
And though I can't be with you tonight...
Timmy slowly opened his again to see Cosmo's eyes full of tears and saw one slip away down his face. He lifted his hand off the other ones shoulder and brushed away the tear. Timmy felt himself moving to where they even closer than they were after the fall. He tilted up his head to look directly into the eyes of the man he loved and saw that his eyes were half way closed and started closing his own.
And know my heart is by your side
Cosmo's hand went between Timmy's shoulder blades and pulled him slightly closer while tightening his grip on his hand. Timmy moved his hand to behind Cosmo's neck and also tightened his grip. Their faces were now maybe half an inch apart. They could feel the breath of the other on their own lips and without thinking both finally closed their eyes all the way.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
After what seemed like ages both pairs of lips met in a soft passion. There was no room for surprise or denial for both had known it was coming if not consciously. Everything they felt came out in that single kiss, all the pain evaporated into nothing and for that moment the only thing they could both feel was the love that they had been building up.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Timmy felt more tears flow down his face as Cosmo opened his mouth and let their tongues collide. 'How...how could something so wrong feel so right?' Both were lost in their own world of pleasure as Cosmo's tongue explored his mouth tasting every inch. Timmy tasted better than Cosmo had ever dreamed and he clung onto the back of shirt as he thought he might get high off his taste and fall down again. Despite the tears Timmy couldn't help but moan into his mouth as he felt Cosmo rub his tongue along his own. Every second that went by the flame within him grew as did Cosmo's.
None of them noticed they were getting closer and closer to the bed and after a few moments they both felt another sense of falling but this time it was shorter, they landed on a softer surface, plus their lips never lost contact with each other. Timmy now laid flat on his back with his legs dangling off the side of the bed moaning even louder now that he felt Cosmo's body heat all over him. Cosmo covered the teens body with his own and felt Timmy's small hand behind his neck become entangled with his own green hair and pull him downward granting more access to young boys mouth. It was when his hand slipped under the teens shirt and heard Timmy moan even louder did he come to his senses.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms...
Cosmo's snapped open and separated their lips looking down upon disheveled teen. Timmy's eyes were half closed his face flushed a deep red "Cosmo?" he said trying to gain deep breaths. Fear swam into his body like a river 'What have I done?' and when Timmy repeated his name tears fell from his eyes 'Damn it, what have I done?' He flung himself off of him and stood on shaking knees. By now Timmy knew something was wrong with his god parent and he pulled himself off the bed and looked into his eyes which showed fear. 'He thinks...he thinks I hate him now' His eyes widened when he saw Cosmo go for his wand and he knew he was about to poof away. So he quickly gathered himself and flung his arm out to where Cosmo's retreating figure was just in time to cling to his arm before he poofed away.
Cosmo was crying harder now as he whispered "I'm so sorry." His grip on his arm tightened as Timmy finally wished for the one thing he had been wanting for a long time. "I wish..." Cosmo winced visibly "I wish that you know how I truly feel about you" His eyes widened at the wish and was slightly scared of what he would feel but he waved his wand and before he could brace himself his conscious was filled with the emotions that Timmy had kept locked up for the longest time.
Every single bit of love that Timmy felt for him flooded through him, the wish told him that Timmy loved him just as much as he loved him. Everything that he had been hiding now was on full display. The amount of love that flowed through him almost made him cry for joy. But he did feel two thin arms wrap around his waist and felt Timmy's head lean against his back and heard him whisper "Don't leave me."
Cosmo suddenly felt something wet on his back and soon realized that Timmy was crying. Then almost as if confirming what the wish told him he heard a whisper "I love you so much." He quickly turned around and gathered the young teen in his arm and pulled his face with both hands and let Timmy look into his eyes...
"I love you too" at those 4 words Timmy smiled so heavenly that Cosmo had to smile as well. They laughed a little bit as tears of joy fell from both of their eyes. Cosmo placed his arms back around the tiny waist of his love and pulled him closer. Cosmo's smile grew as this time their lips met without hesitation or regret.
It was a short kiss that did nothing but confirm their love for each other in a silent way. When they separated Timmy led them back to his bed and both of them sat down. Cosmo placed a soft kiss on his forehead then on the tip of his nose then their lips met again for their third kiss that night. But again it was nothing special so soon they parted and Timmy pulled back his covers while yawning. Cosmo laughed slightly but an instant later he was yawning too. They both climbed under the covers not wanting to be apart just yet. Cosmo waved his wand so the music was gone and the room was silent once more.
Another wave of his wand pulled up the covers and as he placed his wand on the bedside table he felt arms sneak around his waist and felt Timmy place his head on his chest and sigh in content. Cosmo placed his head right above his and also sneaked his arms around the younger ones body and sighed.
"I love you Timmy"
"I love you too Cosmo"
Both pairs of eyes closed and for the first time in a long time both slept peacefully, glad that when they wake up they'll wake up in each others arms.
Ta Da! It's finally done! I know I'm supposed to be working on my sequel 1 month anniversary for all ZADR fans but one night this came to me in a dream and I couldn't ignore but I really hope all of you like like I said above the song is called "If Your Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield I DO NOT OWN anything but the plot...that's it see ya!