The warmth of the afternoon California sun touched the cold cheeks of the drunken young man. His eye's fogged over with an intense dark shadow, hiding the vague secret's held beneath them.

Secretly I'm wanting you And I'm hoping you want me too I smell your scent across the room And I can't wait to get next to you

"J? Earth to Blondie?" A young man with dark hair said, snapping his fingers in tune with his words in the young blondes face. "Anyone in there?"

Jeff sat opposite from his brother inside the booth, his eyes locked on the leggy blonde a mere ten steps away.

Everything about the young woman, enticed him. The urge-full crave began to develop from within him. He wanted her, and nothing more.

"Jeff?" Matt said, trying yet again to catch Jeff's attention. He knew whom Jeff was watching, for he to had once been locked in by the young woman's intense looks. Until he heard. The rumor.

It's like I'm lost I don't know But this feeling that I have about you Will you ever know

Blonde hair mixed with a touch of blue, danced in the soft blowing wind forming a colorful halo around the man's face. Tear's formed in his eyes as memories of her flooded his mind once more.

Secretly I'm wanting you And I'm hoping you want me too I smell your scent across the room And I can't wait to get next to you

Whatever I see (when I look at you across the room)
Whatever I hear (I wonder if he loves me too)
Whatever I do (I just think about you for hours)

"Matt, do you think I could have a chance?" Jeff asked his brother suddenly.

"A chance at what?" Matt asked full knowing what the question and answer were. Jeff wanted a chance with the leggy blonde he knew as Amber. Sure he would and could have that chance. But in the end, Jeff would get hurt.

"The blonde behind you."

Without turning Matt answered. "She's out of your league Jeffro."

"Is she." Jeff replied not tearing his eyes from the woman.

"Come on Jeff, let's get out of here." Matt replied getting to his feet, a frown touched his face when he realized Jeff hadn't heard a word he had said.

Jeff watched as the woman took the couple's order, he watched as her skirt hitched up each time she shifted her legs. Giving him more view at her never ending leg's, trailing his eye's from her leg's they rested to the small of her back which was exposed thanks to the small T-shirt she was wearing. He caught site of a small tattoo, it looked to be two heart's combined with wording that was hidden beneath her pants. Carefully his eye's traveled up her body more, pausing once more when she turned slightly, giving him view to her full bosom. Jeff's eyes went wide with excitement.

Oh baby And it's got me thinking of you

Secretly I'm wanting you And I'm hoping you want me too I smell your scent across the room And I can't wait to get next to you

His shoulders racked with the tear's that fled down his face. The memories were turning out to be too much, way too much. His heart was breaking all over again.

Whenever you speak Whenever you Oooh Whenever you breath Baby Let me touch you Please

"I'm going over there." Jeff said getting to his feet.

"No, Jeff!" Matt replied sternly. "Let's just get out of here. You can find yourself some ring-rat if you need satisfied. Not her, and not now!"

Jeff shook his head softly, keeping his eyes locked on the woman's bosom. He had to talk to her, his body craved her touch.

Slowly Jeff began to walk over to the woman, his hand's shoved quickly into his two front pockets, suddenly nervous.

Matt stood, shaking his head as his younger brother went forward to total destruction. With a frown on his lips, Matt headed toward the door not wanting to see the final reaction of events.

Secretly I'm wanting you And I'm hoping you want me too I smell your scent across the room And I can't wait to get next to you

The tear's now came freely down the young man's face, his shoulders now racked violently as the sobs escaped the depths of his mouth.

Secretly I'm wanting you And I'm hoping you want me too I smell your scent across the room And I can't wait to get next to you

"Ah, excuse me." Jeff said upon reaching where the woman stood. "Could I speak with you for a moment?"

The woman shook her head in a no manner, keeping her face still shielded from his view. The Hardy boy was now hungry, starving for her touch. and to finally see the woman's face.

"I need to ask you something madam." Jeff stated placing his hand onto her forearm. Quickly the woman shrugged it off, continuing to ignore him and wait on her customers. Frustrated, Jeff grabbed her shoulders and closed his eye's; spinning her to him he pulled her in for an intense kiss.

The kiss sent shivers through the man's body, tingling his toes. When he felt her press against him, urging him to continue, Jeff complied. Forcing his tongue within the woman's mouth, massaging hers with his.

Cheers and ploys for more echoed around them, smiling Jeff pulled from the woman. Slowly his eyes began to open, letting the first view of the woman fall into his mind. Tear's quickly filled his eyes, when she came into full view.

It smells so good I just wanna ... kiss you I wanna ... lay with you I don't know how to tell you But secretly I want you I just wanna get next to you

That one night had been the end for Jeff Hardy, the leggy blonde with the full bosom. The blonde he had craved to kiss, to touch and to taste; who he had kissed and then finally caught view of the goddess's face.

She, had been a he dressed in a woman's clothes, dressed in drag.

"No wonder why Matt tried to stop me." Jeff thought, his mind again shuddering with the thought. "Matt tried to stop me, why couldn't I just have listened?"

After that night Jeff's life had changed, he sunk into a deep depression, allowing thing's to slack around him. Forgetting to do this or that, as he fought to determine what he really wanted.

Jeffery Nero Hardy was not gay, not then. Yet he had enjoyed that kiss, even wanted to press his lip's onto the other's once more after they had parted. Instead, Jeff had fled from that restaurant. Fled from the life he had come to love, falling into a new life of confusion and pain.

Refusing to believe the things his body would tell him. Whether he liked it or not, Jeff Nero Hardy truly did love the touch of a man.