Tonight I wanna Cry

Author's note: hey! How are you all? We'll I'm doing great! Here is my newest Titanic story…enjoy!

Summary: Rose's POV the night she got to America and after losing Jack. Song by Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Rose walked into a hotel in America. America; she thought she would never make it to America. Rose looked at the clerk and she smiled politely like she always did. The clerk looked at the beautiful seventeen year old woman and he smiled.

"Good evening miss…you would like to reserve a room?" Rose nodded her head, slowly with no emotion in her face.

"Yes I would sir; I've had a really bad night." The clerk nodded with an understanding smile and he got out a pen.

"I take you were one of the passengers on the Titanic?" Rose nodded her head slowly, and sadly. Was there something on her forehead that let everyone know that she was on the Titanic?

"Yes I was on the Titanic…may I please have a room?" The clerk nodded and he looked into her blue eyes.

"May I take your name miss?"

"Rose…Dawson." Rose answered, refraining her voice from breaking into sobs as she remembered Jack. The clerk wrote down her name and he gave her the keys to her room.

"Here you go Ms. Dawson. Its room 204. And it's free." Rose smiled weakly out of appreciation.

"Thank you sir…good night."

"Good night Rose." Rose slowly began to walk away as she tried to find her hotel room.

When she finally found her room, she waltzed in and she closed the door and locked it tight. She leaned against the door and sighed sadly. She was, for the first time in a really long time, she was alone. She didn't have Cal, her mother, Molly and most importantly…Jack. She didn't have Jack with her.

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Rose walked over to her bed and she turned off the lamp and she laid down in the darkness that soon drowned her. She was tired but refused to fall asleep. She didn't want to go to sleep. As she stared at the barely seen ceiling, she remembered Jack.

Jack Dawson. Jack Dawson made her whole. Jack Dawson was the only person in her whole life that actually had concern for her hopes and dreams. She never had that before. Her mother didn't have any interest in the matter and neither did Cal. Jack was the person she could talk to about anything. She missed that already.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Rose turned over on her side and let a single tear stroll down her cheek. She remembered how trapped she was before Jack came into her life and saved her. Rose closed her eyes for a quick second and remembered that one fateful time when Jack confronted Rose about it.

"Rose, you're no picnic, all right? You're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known..." Rose began to walk away; she did not want to go through this right now.

"Jack, I..." But Jack would not let her walk away into an unhappy life; he couldn't let that happen to Rose.


"No, let me try and get this out. You're ama- I'm not an idiot, I know how the world works. I've got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no-nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right... That's all I want." Rose nodded her head slowly, trying to convince him she was fine. But deep inside…she wasn't.


"Well, I'm fine... I'll be fine... really."


"Really? I don't think so. They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out..." Jack put a gentle hand on her soft face and slowly began to caress her cheek. Rose was on the verge of tears and she stared at Jack sadly.


"It's not up to you to save me, Jack."


"You're right... only you can do that."

Rose's eyes shot open when she heard the thunder bolt. She sat up from her bed and she brought her knees to her chest and she wrapped her arms around her knees. She couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened to Jack. He died trying to save her. His life was worth more than hers; he lived life as if each moment counted. She didn't start doing that until she finally told Jack she loved him.

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

"Oh Jack! Why did I have to let go?! Why did you make me promise such an awful thing! I can't believe I let go! Why did you die and why did I live?! Why Jack, why?!" Rose sobbed loudly and she began to bang her head up against the wall behind her bed. She knew that she was probably waking up the people in the other room, but they probably didn't lose anyone like she lost someone.

OOOo

"I thought we were going to ride on roller coasters till we get sick! I thought you were going to teach me how to chew tobacco like a man! I thought you were going to teach me how to ride a horse with both legs on each side. I thought you would take me to the stars! I thought we would be happy together!" Rose continued to sob as she choked out those words.

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

"Jack…if you can hear me…I want you to know…that I will never love another man like I have loved you. I promise that I will get married and have kids…but I will never let go of the love that I had for you…I promise you that Jack." Rose continued to sob as she rested her head back on her pillow and she cried herself to sleep that night.


Mmhmm mm

She could have been dreaming of course…but she could've sworn she felt Jack sleeping next to her with his arms draped around her.

Wow…I made that sadder then I intended to…well please read and review and if you want me to do another chapter in Jack's perspective, let me know…bye guys!