Well, here's the last chap...might be a Tissue Warning for those of you with leaky piping. This chap is dedicated to all the angst addicts and Boothlovers out there who reviewed this fic. Enjoy!
Brennan stood quietly in the doorway, unable to move. She never expected in a million years to ever see Booth the way he was right then. So frightened and vulnerable, so…not Booth.
He sat hunched over in his spot on the edge of the bed, trying so desperately not to cry that it was actually, physically, painful to listen to. Her heart twisted up in her chest and she froze in the doorway, unsure of what to do. Should she turn and leave, or should she go to him?
He sensed her presence and when he looked up, she could see very clearly in those red-rimmed eyes, the answer to her question.
Booth knew she was there and he knew he'd told her to leave him alone for a minute, but at that moment he really didn't have the energy to argue and tell her to go. And he really didn't want to. Taking a deep breath that only caught in his chest and made him tense with restraint, he looked up at her.
In an instant Brennan was by his side, dropping the half full bottle of painkillers to the floor so she could wrap her arms around him.
"Bones…" His voice shook and he cursed it for doing so.
"Shh. Not now Booth." She soothed, pulling him toward her firmly and pushing one hand up into his hair, pressing his face to her shoulder. She could fell his tense muscles and his disinclination to show weakness was obvious. She moved to look at him, tilting his face toward her with a gentle hand.
"Let me Seeley." She searched his eyes for a moment, and then moved so she was sitting behind him and pulled him back toward her. "I'm here for you. I'm here."
He could have dealt with pity or judgment or confusion. He could hold himself together against that, at least, what he had left that was 'together'. But she brought him compassion and understanding and unconditional love. How was he supposed to fight himself when she was looking at him with those wide blue eyes like that?
Brennan pulled him back to lean against her and it was all he could take. The tears cascaded down his cheeks, the sobs raked his body, ripped it in two. When he grew afraid of literally falling apart he turned in her arms and held onto her, letting the warm tears soak her shirt and loving the feel of her arms around him. Letting him know that he was alive and safe, there with her.
She felt him turn and cling to her for all he was worth and it broke the floodgates. The water rolled from her eyes, down her cheeks and into his hair. Her shirt became soaked with his own warm tears and she leaned her head against him.
His pain was so visceral, so oppressive, she could feel it traveling between them and linking them together in a bond stronger than any they'd ever known before. She closed her eyes and she shared his pain, took it upon herself if only to lessen it in him.
Brennan leaned down and kissed his hair where her salty tears had fallen and continued to whisper to him between the sobs, though she was no longer aware of what she was saying. She wondered how often things like this happened to him, something came about and struck a chord in his brain to bring back those horrid experiences. She shuddered to think he'd ever gone through this alone, and she swore he never would again.
No matter what happened in the future she would never let him experience this sort of ordeal alone again. Even if her worst fear came true and for some reason they parted ways, she would never let him be alone. End of story. She would not do to him what was done to her.
Suddenly Brennan realized Booth's breathing had grown quiet and her heart was beating faster of the two. She shifted her body a bit to look at him and found him asleep, there in her arms. She sighed deeply. She knew, not only was crying exhausting, but drowsiness was often a side-effect of the painkillers he'd taken.
She wriggled out from under him and carefully pulled off his jeans, followed by her own and changed into one of his shirts. Then, snuggling in beside him, she wrapped her arms around his back and they lay face to face. She reveled in his calm expression for a moment, then kissed his eyes and cheeks. They were salty from tears and it only squeezed her chest more. She moved down to his nose and, ever so gently, his lips.
Brennan let her hand rub slow, steady circles along Booth's side, from the waistband of his boxers to his arm and she could have sworn she felt him relax.
Maybe that's why he is always doing it for me.
She settled into the pillow and took a deep breath. Maybe she could do this, this relationship with Seeley.
Of course, has there ever been any doubt? She thought, slightly amused with herself.
Well, perhaps there had, but there was no way she was ever leaving this man after tonight. She could never forget what they'd shared, what they'd gone through. Together.
"I'll be right here Seeley." She whispered, almost smiling when his hand tightened on her hip.
"Always?" He asked, his voice heavy with sleep.
Brennan smiled and rested her forehead against his. "Always."