I own nothing, if I owned Naruto there would be hot yaoi sasu/gaa action lol and sasori wouldn't dieeee ZOMG GOD SPOILER...anywho yeah i own nothing and never will. Beware OCCNESS and again this is yaoi or boyxboy love so if this offends you don't read it...enjoy the fic

"Sasori-danna? Sasori-danna?….SASORI-DANNA!?" Sasori dropped the vial he was holding and let out a string of curse words that could rival Hidan.

"What the hell Deidara I'm right next to you so don't fucking shout." He snapped mopping up the green liquid which was currently burning a hole in the floor. Sasori rolled his eyes at the thought of explaining to Sir Leader about the random hole which needed fixing…again. There was a pause. "What did you want Deidara?" He sighed rubbing his temples. Deidara looked completely blank.

"What? Oh umm I can't remember sorry Danna yeah." He giggled and went back to his magazine. Sasori grit his teeth. Why was everyone in this godforsaken dump so bloody stupid?

Uchiha Itachi had come to the conclusion that everyone in The Akatsuki apart from him had the IQ level of a woodlouse at best.

"So then his arm was like booooooooom!!! And the guy was like Holy crap!! And I was laughing my ass of and…Heeeeeyyyyy Itachi you're not listening!" Kisame groaned nudging Itachi who was currently staring at a deceased arachnid in the corner of the wall…hey it beat listening to Kisame talk about 'some dude that he killed' . "For someone who's meant to be a genius you sure do have a short attention span…" Kisame said evidently hurt at his partner's clear lack of interest towards…everything really. Itachi stood up and walked off muttering something about '72 hours of torture…' Kisame shrugged.

"SEX!" Sasori looked up from his book and adjusted his reading glasses.

"What now Deidara?" He said exasperated. He'd managed to have at least a good ten minutes quiet reading time and now Deidara was screwing it up…again.

"Well that's what everyone's doing isn't it danna? It's what makes the world go round right yeah?" Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"Where do you get this crap from Deidara?" Deidara smirked.

"Ahhh danna is sex a hard subject for you to talk about yeah?" He said patronisingly, "Are you a virgin danna yeah?" Sasori fumed, how dare he that little….he shouldn't rise to the bait…it was just Deidara….Deidara speaks crap he shouldn't listen to Deidara. "Aww danna are you a shy little virgin yeah?" Sasori stood up angrily.

"How dare you." He hissed, Deidara shrank back.

"S-s-sorry Sasori- danna yeah.." He stammered, "I…I …I didn't mean to upset you yeah.." Sasori huffed.

"Whatever now can I please read my book? I'd like to get past at least the next 12 pages without being disrupted." There was a pause. "So Deidara, why the hell were you talking about sex?" Deidara grinned.

"Because I wanted to know if you knew who here was….you know yeah?" He giggled, Sasori stared at him.

"Know what?" He said confused.

"Youu knnnnoooowww…" Deidara said grinning.

"No enlighten me." Sasori deadpanned, Deidara made a hand gesture. Sasori stared at Deidara appalled.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!" He shouted.

"Well like people can't function without sex yeah, so I was wondering which people were you know doing it with their partner yeah?" Sasori grimaced.

"Akatsuki isn't a sex club Deidara, people don't do THAT with their partners. It's well….." Sasori thought about all the different members, there was Hidan and Kakuzu….ugh the zombie twins doing the monster mash made the puppeteer want to vomit, Zetsu and well Tobi hung around with him….Zetsu was a cannibal so just no….Kisame and Itachi…now that was just plain wrong.

"Well what danna yeah?" Sasori was jogged out of his musings by Deidara.

"Uh well it's wrong.." Sasori said highly uncomfortable about the whole situation.

"You went awfully quiet danna yeah…where you thinking of hot Akatsuki yaoi yeah?" Deidara said 'innocently'

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WANNABE PROSTITUTE!!!" Sasori screamed before, after a few minutes of silence returned to his book. They had a two day mission coming up soon. Sasori shuddered, 72 hours of endless chatter….72 hours of torture….

Dun duuunnn how was that for a first chapter? Hope you liked it cos there be more to come...btw readers there be lovely purple button with review on it...press it please lol ciao