A random spoof of Twilight/New Moon. Because the books kick ass. Because Edward Cullen is just that sexy. And because I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the next in the series, Eclipse.

Disclaimer- No, I don't own anything having to do with this series, other then this spoof.


Edward Cullen, eternally age 17, stepped out of the bathroom, in naught but a terrycloth towel. The small enclosure was steaming from Edward's shower. With water dripping from his brown hair, onto his beautiful face and his pale, slightly muscular body, the Vampire boy swiftly walked down the hallway to his bedroom.

With one hand tightly holding onto his towel, he cautiously opened the door to his room. After making sure all was serene, Edward silently slipped in and flipped on his light. After putting on a pair of black boxers and a pair of faded jeans over that, he walked over to his couch and went to lay down. As Edward sat, he noticed a white slip of paper with his name on it. Picking it up, he noticed the scent that was all over it.

"Bella," he said slowly to himself. Bella Swan was Edward's human girlfriend. After rescuing him from the Volturi in Italy, a few months previous, Bella automatically stated that she wished to be a Vampire, and that she wished to become one by Edward's hand... er teeth. Edward had downright refused, and Bella was still a bit sore at him...

Slowly, Edward opened the note, which was folded over twice. After reading the note a few times, he laughed a bit.

Edward looked to the black clock the was on the table next to his couch. The small digital time-teller said it was about 10:00. "Time to go..." the Vampire muttered. He stood up, went to his dresser and put on a black slightly tight shirt. As he walked out the door of his bedroom, Edward left the note from Bella on his dresser-

Dear Edward,

Bite me.

Love, Bella


So, how'd ya like it? I was struck by inspiration while re-reading the book New Moon.

Please reveiw reveiws make me happy

P.S.!- Eclipse will be out August 7, 2007!!!!!!!!!!