A/N: Hey, hey, hey, it's your self-proclaimed Oneshot Queen back again to deliver a delicious songfic oneshot. Based on the song and video of Curse of Curves, by Cute Is What We Aim For, just a bit of HP thrown in. I wanted to actually put a little more of a backstory into it. Sorry if the lyrics are wrong, I did it by ear.

Disclaimer: I honestly don't own the plot, lyrics, music video, or any of Jk Rowling's or Cute Is What We Aim For's work. I do own the little details.

I've got the gift of one liners

And you've got the curse of curves

Hermione glared at her husband of one year across the table. They both knew what he had done.

And with this gift

I compose words and the question that comes forward

Ron smirked at his wife of one year across the table. They both knew what he had done. Ron, after his seventh year, finally asked Hermione out. She was floored, and as she stayed as an accountant in the Ministry, secretly in the Order and him, a Quidditch playing star and also in the Order, they had because bountiful with money. Bought an estate, but, then, Ron had make the first mistake. First? Mistake? Some might not think so. Voldemort: destroyed. And everyone had gotten on with their lives. For Ron and Hermione, riches and fame was a promising future.

Are you perspiring from the irony?

Or are you sweating from these lyrics?

After the riches and fame, Hermione possessed a side he had never seen: jealousy and greed. She had, indeed, because shallow through the years. She didn't care much for studies and supported Ron's career, sure. But every celebrity has their fans. And Ron's main fans: women and girls. Hermione stared at him with angry eyes full of malice, but they softened to their chocolate sauce warmth when the guests had arrived.

Fred and Angelina, George and Kate, Harry and Ginny, Michael and Cho, Dean and Paravati, Bill and Fleur, and all the good friends of the couple who was dating or married in Hogwarts(except for Slytherin-Ron still kept his grudge) filed and took their seats, sipping from the gold rimmed glasses and looking around. The women wore dresses of different variety and color, and the men wore suits and tuxedos.

And this just in:

You're a dead fit

But my wit won't allow it

"Welcome!" Ron said, grinning. "I'd like to welcome you all to mine and Hermione Weasley(Hermione cringed, then leaned back, glaring still) first anniversary! Please, talk amongst yourselves." The couples seemed not to care much for talking, but reassociated anyways. Harry looked at Hermione's beautiful face, her hair, curled but not bushy in perfect spirals to her circles and her face, looking smooth and porcelain as ever. He sent a wink her in direction, who gave a fake, but convincing smile back.

The inside lingo had me at hello

And we go where the money goes

Ron surveyed the guests-it was good to see them. He snuck a look at Cho. She was laughing, talking to her boyfriend. But when she realized he was looking at her, she winked back. Ron smiled. What good memories...

The inside lingo had me at hello

And we go where the money goes

"Parvati!" Ron exclaimed as he entered his bedroom, getting read for the night. "What are you doing here?" Paravati was lying sideways on his bed, wearing a translucent nightgown that left a lot to the redheads imagination.

She looked up at his through a sheet of her long, black hair. "I heard that you're marriage was, as you say, on the rocks?"

I want someone provocative and talkative

But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower

From what I've heard with skin you'll win

"Well..." Ron dragged, playing along. "It hasn't been the best.." Paravati got up from the bed and strutted over to him.

"I could help you there," she whispered huskily before capturing his lips with hers. And he willingly obliged; what was the worst that could happen?

Her bone structure screams, "Touch her, Touch her!"

And she's got the curse of curves

When they noticed Hermione's hateful glances, they stopped making eyes at each other when Michael began to tell her about work at a wand shop.

So with the combination of my gift with one liners

And my way, my way with words

Hermione looked down at her steak and kippers. Still throwing horribly hateful glances, she picked up her steak knife and slammed it into her steak, still looking at him. Everyone turned to look at her, and she glanced at them, just as surprised by the eyes at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, the cooks often make the steak a little too hard," she said quickly, a smile spreading on her lips. "Please, dig in. We shall begin the toast in a couple minutes." Harry smiled, and she gave another smile again. But her steely eyes returned when they made their way back to Ron. She smirked, giving a little shake of her shoulders back and forth. And what a toast it shall be, she thought. Ron looked passive, surveying the guests.

Hermione shook her head. Oh, the things she knew from her jabberjaw upperclassman friends. They were the eyes and ears of high living witch and wizard society. But those same eyes and ears had caused Hermione tears with the information the delivered that morning over the phone.

It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped

And you're on the gossip team

"Evelyn!" Hermione exclaimed over the phone. "How are you?" Evelyn Cattier was a Scottish woman she met at one of Ron's games, the long time husband of the Beater on Ron's team.

"Spectacular! How are you and Ron?" she asked.

"Honestly, I don't think we're very close. And he thinks I only love him for his money," she added snappily. But in t he back of Evie's mind, she knew it was true.

"Honey, don't you know?" she asked.

"What?" Hermione asked. There was a pause.

"Sweetie, everyone knows but you?" she asked carefully.

"Tell me!" Hermione snapped.

"Hermione...sweets, he's been cheating on you," she said slowly. There was a pause and Hermione's eyes widened. She let out a rattling gasp. Then, what was left of the Hermione that was smart and sassy and didn't care about riches thought.

"Evie," she snarled into the phone. "I need a favor. Give me the names of the girls, and their spouses!"

"Sweets, what are planning?" she asked carefully.

"You'll see," Hermione said slowly, the gears in her mind (She may have been greedy, but was still sharp as a pin) slowly beginning to work. "Today's my anniversary. I'll tell him. If he makes it to the end of dinner."

"Hermione!" Evie barked through the phone. But she had already hung up.

Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she stared at him, shaking her head slowly. But the cold resurfaced on her eyes, and she glared at him. Ron stared at her in mock oblivion as if to say, "What?"

You're making something out of nothing

And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed

Tired of seeing her frightened cold eyes, he glanced over at Cho.

"Yeah, it's so much fun, people come in all the time asking for new designs," she continued. She worked at a robe and dress shop and was describing the Ball season and how much business came in. When she was done, she glanced at Ron. Ron stared back impassively, and she looked at him with knowing eyes. She pat her mouth and left a lipstick stain. He stared at it blankly.

The inside lingo had me at hello

And we go where the money goes

Another sweet memory...Ron leaned back in his chair.

Ron threw down his jacket angrily. Hermione was out with Evelyn, getting drunk AGAIN. He sighed dejectedly. All he wanted was the old Hermione back, and it was sad he had to resort to Paravati that day. He wanted the Hermione who would giggle at his jokes, tell him to stop tickling her, slam books in his face, telling him to wake up and study, or pinch his neck when he made an inappropriate joke. As much as he hated some of those things, he loved her. But she was hard to love.

The inside lingo had me at hello

And we go where the money goes

He trotted into his bathroom. I'll pop into the Jacuzzi and relax, he thought happily. but when he got in, he was surprised to see Cho waiting in the bathtub, staring at him with dreamy eyes.

I want someone provocative and talkative

But its so hard when you're shallow as a shower

And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

"I've been waiting," she said huskily, pulling back her heavy,raven hair. Even if she was in the bubble filled tub, circled with candles, he saw that she still had her ruby lipstick on, and her blueberry eyeshadow.

"Hermione will notice the lipstick on my shirt, she almost found it," he sighed. "We've got to stop."

'But you don't want to, now do you?" she asked in a wispy, seductive voice. Ron realized in that moment, she was right.

She winked at him, and Hermione was staring with a grimace on her face. She stared at him with almost pleading eyes. Eyes saying "Why?"

Her bone structure screams "Touch her. Touch her!"

And she's got the curse, the curse of..

From what I've heard with skin you'll win

Hermione dabbed her eyes impatiently, still trying to look at him and shield the sadness in her eyes.

We all have teeth that can bite underneath

To where the reality grows

"To my lovely wife," Ron said, standing suddenly, holding up his wine glass. "May we live in love, even in the afterlife!"

Yeah, that's where mine go

That's where mine go

"May our riches never leave us, just like our love shall never leave us."

We all have teeth that can bite underneath

To where the reality grows

They clamored in agreement, raising their glasses. Hermione raised hers, spitting out a short, spiteful laugh. Ron raised his also, the impassive look stuck on his face.

Yeah, that's where mine go

To where reality grows

"To my two best friends in the whole bloody world!" Harry exclaimed, and Ginny nodded and they gulped down their wine. Hermione gave a real laugh, and Ron glanced at her, surprised. The last time he had heard a laugh like that was their 7th year...it seemed like so long ago.

From what I've heard with skin you'll win

From what I've heard with skin you'll win

Lavender was toasting everyone, with a blank expression. Until she snuck a look at Ron, with those knowing brown eyes and a annoying smirk.

"Let's toast," Lavender said silkily, clinking his glass against his on his balcony.

I want someone provocative and talkative

And it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower

And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

"To us," Ron said in a bored voice.

"To us!" she then drained the glass.

As they toasted, Hermione's eyes shot to Lavender, who was making eyes at him. Her own eyes widened; so it was true. Her best friend, Evie, wasn't lying after all. The other women gave him looks like Lavender's. Something in Hermione snapped. She was glad she was doing this all of a sudden.

Her bone structure screams, "Touch her. Touch her!"

And she's got the curse,the curse of..

Ron raised his champagne glass, and with a smile, Hermione did too. Hermione didn't even let the mixture touch her lips, but Ron, her husband, drained the glass. She put down hers, and was beaming at this point.

"I just want to let you know, Ron, it didn't have to be this way. I love you," she said, and even through her beaming, tears were making their way to her eyes.

From what I've heard with skin you'll win

With skin you'll win

Ron coughed and touched his throat. It burned so badly, he closed his eyes. He felt his throat beginning to swell from the inside out. He looked up at his wife of one year. And to his surprise, she was smirking. She gave a small shake of her shoulders as if to say, "What. Now."

Ron felt his face turn red as his windpipe closed. He stared at her with wide, bulged eyes as he choked, and he fell backwards in his chair. Everyone at the table stood up and stared at the man. Hermione stood too, but in the process, she stared at him with a small smile, and even looked ready to laugh.

Skin you'll win

A/N: That was really hard to write! I thought making a music video was somewhat easy, but just doing a fan fic about it?! Oh, Gosh, it took me about 10 hours!