Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.
NoDrogs created the twins in "A Small Possibility." I altered their origin for my stories.
For a fast overview of the Best Enemies Universe read my profile. I wrote most of this weeks ago, one scene inspired Bleak House. Then I worked on A Field Guide to Monsters, Double-Minded, In the Heat of a Summer Night, Best Enemies Redux, and rewrote Cognitive Dissonance. And here I am again.
If you're interested, Double-Minded has been outlined for ten more chapters. I am pretty sure it will be the first Kim Possible fanfiction to include or mention the philosophy of Hegel, William Shakespeare, the script for Grande-Size Me, and Jello™ wrestling. Some fanfictions may have hit three of the four, but this will hit them all.
Chapter titles are lines from the song A More Humane Mikado, see Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado.
Chronological Note: This story is set about two years after the start of Team Possible II stories, and takes place a month or two before Equinox Carol.
Chapter 1 - My Object All Sublime
The blue girl unlocked the front door and called as she came in, "I. am. here."
Two small missiles, one with red hair and one with dark green, were launched from the kitchen and homed in on their cerulean target.
"Bego!" "Where's Joss?" Kasy and Sheki called as they flew out of the kitchen door and attached themselves like leeches to her legs.
"She. is. parking. the. car."
"Do we really get you for all night?" "We love it when you baby-sit."
"Yes, Joss. and. I. will. be. here. all. night. Where. are. your. Mommy. and. Eemah?"
"I'm trying to get some supper into them before we go out," Shego said, appearing in the doorway. "Girls, go back and finish your mac and cheese. And eat those peas! You need more chlorophyll if you're going to grow like weeds." The twins giggled and wondered what Eemah was talking about. "You have all night to abuse Joss and Bego," she promised. "And if you don't go too hard on them maybe they'll let you have ice cream before bed time."
As the twins returned to supper Shego whispered to Bego, "Is she doing any better?"
"Not. that. I. can. see."
"Not that you can see, what?" Joss asked as she came in the door. She obviously had not slept well. While it didn't look like she had been crying recently she also looked like it wouldn't take much to set her off.
"Just asking if she could see any difference in the girls from the last time you were over," Shego lied. Bego did not correct her.
Kim appeared at the top of the stairs. She looked so beautiful it hurt Shego to look at her. Kim didn't even look at Shego, she came quickly down the stairs and threw her arms around Joss who, as Shego expected, burst into tears. Shego sighed, uncertain whether Kim should be classified as a comforter or an enabler. Based on her experience of the last week, however, Shego expected the crying to last awhile. The pale woman tapped Bego on the shoulder, "Go watch the twins, I need to get dressed." As she went upstairs to change Shego pessimistically reflected that, while it might be selfish, she hoped Joss's breakup didn't interfere with the late celebration of her second anniversary.
After crying with Joss Kim needed to freshen her makeup as Shego finished getting ready to leave. The two looked like night and day as they said good night to the twins and their sitters. Kim, her hair shining like sunshine was in a light blue dress the color of the sky. Shego, her skin pale as moonlight, wore a black dress.
"I've got my cell phone, call if there is any emergency," Kim told them.
"And if there is no blood, there's no emergency," Shego added.
"You two have any idea when you'll be back?" Joss wanted to know.
"The club closes at one, so we should-" the pale woman started.
"We have no idea when we'll be home, that's why I asked if you could spend the night." Kim interrupted. "I have our small duffels in the trunk," she explained to Shego. "We have a little, um, mission we need to go on before we get home."
"Can. you. tell. us. where. you. will. be. going?"
"Sorry," Kim told her, "that information is available on a strictly need to know basis. And you don't need to know."
"If it makes you feel any better," Shego added, "I'm out of the loop also. Are you good for a couple weeks if we end up in Asia?"
"I. do. not. know. if. we. will. be-"
"She's kidding," Joss explained, patting Bego's arm, "at least I hope she is."
"I hope so too," Shego thought.
The drive over was filled with filled with a variety of small talk: Shego's law classes, life at Global Justice, and the latest sick child alert sent home from pre-school.
"I think I have a line on DNAmy," Shego reported.
"I wish you'd drop that."
"That's my question for you. Why look for her?"
"Mostly curious I guess. Three and a half years ago I'd probably have tried to kill her for what she did to you. Now… I don't know. Maybe thank her for what she did for us?"
"I guess I can accept that. It's weird no one has heard from her."
Shego returned to a topic which had taken much of Kim's time in the last week, "So, based on your past behavior, I want to know if you'll be trying to get Joss and Wade back together?"
"No!" Kim said sharply. "Not after that. Joss was right."
"I hate to point out the obvious, but you really only have Joss's interpretation of what happened."
"Joss is family. I trust what she says."
"I'm just saying Wade is an old friend-"
"He's been real cold to you for the last few months."
"Yeah, and no idea why," Shego admitted. "But I'm saying his understanding might be different from-"
"I doubt that."
"Okay, maybe not. But I still say there are two sides to a story."
"Spoken like a real lawyer."
"That wasn't meant as a compliment."
The conversation remained awkward until they reached the new restaurant, where both tried to focus on why they were there and forget Joss.
It wasn't the Astor, but it was trying hard to attract the better-known restaurant's clientele. "Four?" the maitre d' asked when they came in.
"Reservation for two, under the name Possible."
He checked the name off the reservations list and had a waiter escort them to their table, "Such a waste," he thought as they left.
Ambiance and experienced wait staff aren't built in a day, but at least the place possessed an impressive menu.
They decided what they wanted quickly, then talked about their weeks until their waiter returned. "… So, anyway, we ended up busting the Alien Brain for trying to manipulate cheese futures."
"Cheese futures? Well, Ron should be happy you broke that up. Cheese has to be even more pathetic than some of Drakken's old world conquest plans."
"Well, I don't think he… Do we really know if Alien Brain is male or female?" Shego shook her head no. "Anyway," Kim continued, "he'd lost all his money trying to figure out how to trigger volcanoes to threaten all life on earth. So the cheese futures were just a way to get funding to continue the volcano project. The weird thing is he'll probably get more time for trying to manipulate the market than for trying to take over the world."
Shego had just started telling Kim about her week when the waiter appeared, "Have you decided what you want?"
"The linguini in white clam sauce and a small salad please," Kim ordered
"What dressing would you like?"
"Italian, on the side, please."
"And to drink?"
"Just water, thanks."
The man with the starched white shirt and bowtie turned to Shego, "And for you?"
"I'm going with the Greek salad, and I'd like a glass of whatever house wine you think will pair well with that."
After he left Kim put her elbows on the table, rested her chin on interlaced fingers and stared into Shego's eyes with rapt attention. "Now, tell me more about your week."
"Well, I was starting to tell you about yesterday's study session with the Legals at C2K-" Shego started slightly. Kim had slipped off a shoe and begun to slowly run her foot up Shego's leg. The long tablecloth insured that her actions were hidden from all the other diners.
"Yes?" Kim asked innocently.
"Uh, sorry, got a little distracted there. We were on Constitutional Law and Alan… Uh, have I told you about him?"
"No, please do," Kim requested. "You have amazing powers of concentration." Kim's foot was currently gently sliding between Shego's inner thighs.
Shego's eyes suddenly widened as Kim's foot worked its way higher than expected. "My, but we are being subtle this evening," Shego finally managed to say.
"We don't know how slow the kitchen is going to be. Want me to drop my spoon and when I bend down to pick it up I can disappear under the table until our order arrives?"
"No!" Shego hissed, "we might… uh, want… to come… back here… uh, someday."
Kim gave her partner an evil grin, "Come back?" she said as her toes continued to wiggle softly between the pale woman's legs. "I'm more interested in a first coming. I want someone at another table to ask for what you're having."
"Are you all right?" the waiter asked, noticing Shego's flushed expression. They had been too distracted to notice him approach with Kim's salad and Shego's glass of wine.
"I'm fine," the brunette managed to gasp as Kim blushed and returned her foot to the floor. "I just can't take you out in public, can I?" the pale woman hissed as the waiter left.
Kim pouted, "You're always telling me I need to get more romantic."
"More romantic doesn't mean going straight for the crotch. Geez, Kim, gaze lovingly into my eyes. Tell me you can't live without me. Tell me I'm the sexiest woman in the restaurant."
"Um, can I tell you that you're the second sexiest woman in the restaurant?"
"Not if you're hoping to get any tonight." Shego glanced around the room. "Okay, who's hotter than me?"
"I was thinking the woman you're here with."
The smile returned to Shego's face, "Okay, her maybe. Let's not have that competition again."
The serving of pasta was enormous and Shego couldn't stop herself from commenting, "There's got to be twelve hundred calories on that plate. You're going to need a hell of a workout with me tomorrow."
Kim gently stroked the calf of Shego's leg with her foot. "Why wait for tomorrow? We may work some of them off tonight. At least, I hope you're interested in burning off some of those calories. You are, aren't you?"
Kim's regretted her order not for its size, but for the fact it proved very messy to eat. While they were tiny, perhaps half a dozen spots stained the front of her dress by the time she finished what she could eat. "Could you get this in to the dry cleaner for me next week?" she requested.
"Shouldn't be a problem." Kim didn't realize how much that simple request bothered her partner.
After dinner they drove to a club recently opened by one of Kim's high school classmates. Alex Safic had dropped out of art school, but at least at the moment Sapphic's Pencil did enough business to more than support her Bohemian life-style and threatened to convert her into a bourgeois capitalist. The club had proven so popular that it had replaced the 'Feminist Literature' section of Middleton's Barnes and Noble as the place for women seeking women.
College undergrads probably made up more than two thirds of the women there, but Shego recognized a couple Legals from her study group. "Oh, God, what a coincidence. Kim, over here." Shego steered the redhead through the jumble of tables to a booth, "Alan, I want you to meet Kim Possible, my insignificant other. Kim, Alan. He fantasizes he's as good as I am in Con Law."
They shook hands and Alan made his introduction, "Sharon, this is Dan. Dan, Sharon." The man with the closely cropped sandy hair smiled and nodded.
"I thought you were straight," Shego said.
"We are. We thought with all these women around we might get lucky."
Kim rolled her eyes. "If you're here people will probably just assume you're two women in drag."
Dan put his hand on Alan's and squeezed gently. "Well, dear, should we tell them about us?" He looked up at Kim and Shego, "We are."
All four laughed. "Want to join us?" Alan invited.
"Can I leave my purse? I think Kim and I will be spending the evening on the dance floor."
Slow music seemed to dominate the weekday evening. Weekends were made for faster music, during the week the majority enjoyed the chance to hold their partners close as they danced.
As they moved together on the dance floor Shego softly sang the words of an old Pointer Sister's song to Kim.
As the midnight moon was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes looking into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin' don't say a word 'cos I already heard
What your body's saying to mine
I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove
On my mind
I want a man with a slow hand
I want a lover with an easy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love I want a slow hand
It seemed they had been there no time at all when Kim announced, "We need to move."
The pale woman glanced at her watch, "It's only ten minutes after eleven. We're not going to close the place down?"
"I told you, we have a mission. You thought I was joking?"
"I thought you were joking."
"Let me go to the car and get our mission gear."
Shego retrieved her purse and said goodbyes as Kim went out to the car. Back in the club, Kim handed Shego the black duffel. "You change first."
"Not together? You never let me have any fun."
"Fun later, change now."
The club had been a clothing store before its renovation and had kept a few of the changing rooms. Shego felt both curious and surprise to find her green and black catsuit in the bag when she opened it. Seven minutes later she joined Kim in the hall. "God, you haven't gained an ounce in the last four years, have you?" Kim smiled. "That suit still fits you like a glove."
Shego grinned back, "Our workouts keep me in shape. But I'm a few years out of date on the latest in electronic security systems."
"Doesn't matter for tonight, it's strictly an old, low tech system you need to crack."
"Which of your mission outfits are you wearing, one of the old ones or the Global Justice uniform? And where are we going on this mission?"
"You'll see. Now let me change."
Dan could see a portion of the hall from their table, and drew Alan's attention to the women. "I'll try and remember to ask her about that outfit the next time I see her in study group," Alan told his partner when Shego emerged in the black and green catsuit.
Dan nudged Alan again a few minutes later when Kim came out, "Ohmygawd, I know I'm going to remember to ask her about tonight."
"You almost sound interested," Dan said, sounding jealous. "Would you like me in an outfit like that."
"You know I love you, so don't take this the wrong way. But you don't have the legs for a cheerleading skirt like that."