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Pilot's Manual - Twisted: Backup Plans Episode 126347

by dogbertcarroll

Beep "Er... Dr. Akagi: We seem to have a problem fitting Captain Misato in her new... uniform. She seems to have drunk a lot of beer recently, and..."

Ritsuko grumbled under her breath for a moment before speaking, "Damn! Who's next on the list, Maya?"

Maya glanced down at the list in her hand, her eyes widening as she read the number two spot on the list. Griping the clipboard tightly, she mentally scrambled for a way out.

"Err..." Gulp "You... YES! You are next!"

Ritsuko simply raised an eyebrow, before calmly replying, "Show me that list, Maya..."

Backing away with the clipboard clutched to her chest, Maya nervously glanced around trying to find an escape scuttle.

"No need... I errr... ahhhh... I told you the answer!"

Growling Ritsuko advanced on her with her hand outstretched.

"MAYA! Show me the damn list!"

Giving into her growing panic, Maya dropped the clipboard and fled out the door.

"Sorrycan'tgottagobye!"

Grabbing her communicator Dr.Akagi repeated her earlier command.

"Fire."

The thud of her protégé's unconscious body hitting the floor in mid flight gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling.

'This is even more fun then shooting clay pigeons. I may have to do this more often.'

"Second Target secured. Over," came a male voice from the other end of the communicator.

----Inside the Magi----

MELCHIOR-1: Why did you list Maya as the second choice? All probabilities point to Ritsuko as the second choice preferably with Misato, as they've had previous experience 'working' together in these situations in college. Maya was a distant fourth choice after Hikari Horaki.

BALTHASAR-2: We wanted to settle the question of Maya's sexuality, although it's pretty obvious she's straight from her reaction to Kaji during his last break in disguised as a security specialist.

CASPER-3: She's gay. You only have to monitor her vital signs around Ritsuko to see the data on the wall.

MELCHIOR-1: I still say she's Bi.

BALTHASAR-2: Bi is not a valid sexual classification.

MELCHIOR-1: Yes it is.

CASPER-3: No it's not.

MELCHIOR-1: Yes it is.

CASPER-3: No it's not.

MELCHIOR-1: What would you call it then?

BALTHASAR-2 & CASPER-3: Being greedy!

MELCHIOR-1: Fine. We'll transmit all data, in real time, to the main monitors in the command center and see what the staff says about it. Being human they will decide her final classification.

BALTHASAR-2 & CASPER-3: Agreed.

----Back in the 'Real' World----

"Dr.Akagi, we have a problem."

Picking up her communicator she fired back, "What?"

"Lt.Maya is a bit… under equipped for the uniform. In other words, she's too small. Should we throw her back?"

"Just wrap the both of them in ribbon and expand the food selection to an entire desert cart. It should more then make up for a lack of 'uniform' in this case."

"Yes, Sir."

Glancing down at her monitor, she noticed an outside feed being patched in directly to the battle boards and a request from the Magi to have all personnel not currently employed at critical duties to monitor the broadcast.

On with the show.

Hikari feels the sudden urge to move.

Visiting Section 2 personnel in the hospital.

It rains beer!

SE!

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