Disclaimer: I own no anime series. SM isn't mine. Excel saga isn't mine.

AN: These never got off the ground. You can see why.

With Great Will: Dietary concerns. Episode 1496

by dogbertcarroll

Menchi ducked behind a garbage can panting for breath. Finally he had escaped becoming the breakfast buffet for his previous 'owner'. Now he could finally relax and not worry abought being slaughtered when he took a nap. No more books entitled '1001 ways to skin a cat.' or 'Eating pussy the Vegan way.'.

'I really wondered abought that last book though.'

"Excuse me."

Menchi backed into the alley wall looking up at a strangely dressed woman carrying a large key-like metal staff.

"You have seriously disrupted my plans for the future by arranging for the disposal of one of the Queen's advisors. As such you will have to take his place."

'Not another mental case! It was just another cat and this isn't Puss N' Boots.'

She tapped him on the head before he could move with her strangely shaped staff.

"Ouch! What did you do that for?"

"Congratulations. You are now a Lunar Cat and an advisor to the throne."

"Hey, how come I can talk and is 'emergency food supply' anywhere in my job description?"

Menchi shivered wondering if perhaps he really had managed to escape Excel this time, rather then the usual 'almost escape' only to be dragged back again.

"One, you are now a Lunar cat which includes the ability to talk while in feline form and the ability to change into human form at will. Two, not unless you screw up in a way I have not foreseen."

"You're not mad that I knocked out that other cat and switched places with him?"

"His name was Artemis and no I am not. His job performance was beginning to suffer because of his inappropriate relations with a number of stray cats. I trust you will not have the same problem?"

Blood-red eye's stared into his own.

"Nope, not me. As long as I'm not on the menu I'll do anything!"

Menchi felt the faint stirrings of hope. Sure it looked like he was going to be living and working with another group of loonies, but this group apparently didn't see him as an entrée.

"Good. You will be expected to give advice concerning battle plans and similar situations but I'll brief you in advance on what to say. Your real job is to keep one particular girl's hormonal level in check."

A book thumped to the ground in front of him.

"Read this and memorize the techniques. You'll need them. I have to go explain to Venus that her 'advisor' has been replaced."

Menchi blanched upon reading the title. He really wasn't into cannibalism, but as long as it kept him out of the stew pot…

Pluto's presence faded from the alley as she heard Menchi say "Hey, this isn't abought cats at all, but what's a Vegan?".

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Hyatt suddenly recovers and Plan 7,827,413-and-1/2 is put into immediate action.

Ilpalazzo delays the plan for lunch, but Excel forgot to restock the larder. "Bweee?"

After a while they notice that Hyatt isn't getting any less dead."

Let's see how the SM cast handles the mid-season replacement.

SE!

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Furries 4 U: Artistic Merit. Episode 11103

by dogbertcarroll

Pierre had learned a lesson from his two months suspension, unfortunately it wasn't the lesson his aunt was trying to impress upon him. Instead of realizing that making a furry too 'furry' was the problem he decided that the problem was he hadn't made them 'furry' enough!

Obviously his tastes were too refined, too 'high brow', for most of their customers to appreciate the true masterpieces he created. So he would have to compromise a bit to insure his work would reach an appreciative audience. Changing someone into a complete animal was the way to go.

Take the tuxedo clad gentleman that had just attacked him. Now making him a penguin furry would seem to be the obvious choice to the plebeians that worked here, however that was where Pierre's artistic vision would make all the difference.

All he had to do was change the paradigm from animal to man as he was changing the form from man to animal. It was brilliant!!!

Instead of a cold water bird it would be a warm water one. Tuxedo's were typically social attire for parties where people would drink so why not add in a liking for alcohol? Perfect! The rose in the lapel added a nice touch of color but as he could no longer wear one we simply change the eyebrows to red for the right accent and it was done.

Pierre almost felt like crying.

This was true genius.

He would name him … Pen-pen!

The shop decides it's time to...

...relocate.

...rotate stock to another world.

Let's look at...

... Pen-pen's new owner.

SE!

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