A/N: This is directly related to Chapter... 26? of my other fic, AIM with the Cullens. If you haven't read it, read it! Or you don't have to, but it would probably help you understand what Emmett's doing.


"Aaah…" Emmett sighed, and looked up from his computer after signing off AIM. He walked into Edward's room looking around cautiously.

"Got to be here somewhere," he grumbled, ruffling through Edward's CD's. "Jackpot!" Emmett held up a small, silver Master Card that had "Edward A Masen" boldly imprinted on it.

Walking out of the room, Emmett hummed a tune to himself, grabbing the phone book on a table outside. "Hope Eddie doesn't mind I stole his credit card…"

Carlisle's room was closed, and Esme and Carlisle were nowhere to be seen. Emmett wisely veered away from Carlisle's study, and plopped down on a chair at their rarely-used dining table. "Let's see, I think it begins with B…"

XxX

"Yes!" Emmett pumped his fist into the air and parked his conspicuous red Jeep outside a small, discreet building.

"Baxter's Plastic Surgery" was clearly labeled on the top of the building, as well as on a side next to it. The windows were small and tinted, and a dingy sign read "Open". Emmett walked up to the door and wrinkled his nose. "Blech. Smells like chemicals in here. Oh well, I did want to know what Rose meant by 'boob job'."

He opened the door, and a small bell dinged above him, indicating a visitor. "Awesome!" Emmett exclaimed, making a mental note to install one in his house. Looking around, he saw four women sitting in chairs, most of them tight-lipped and unsmiling. He waved at them, grinning broadly.

Two of the women raised their eyebrows at him, one got up and sat farther away, and one waved back. "So what are you here for?" she asked conversationally, as Emmett squashed himself into one of the waiting room's tiny chairs.

"Oh, I came for a boob job," Emmett replied, nodding.

"Right…" the woman trailed off, taken aback. She got up hesitantly and quickly ran out the exit door.

Emmett looked around, and saw a sign that said "Ring the bell for assistance!" He shrugged and pushed the white button.

A lady in blue scrubs opened the window, and asked in a bored tone, "Welcome to Baxter's Plastic Surgery, one of the top surgical clinics in Seattle. If you are new here, please take one of these forms and fill out your information. All personal information will be kept discreet. Have a seat, and someone will be with you soon, ma'am."

Ma'am? Emmett raised his eyebrows, but gladly took one of the forms the lady offered. He filled out his name, address, and social security number, and looked at the box labeled "Choice of surgery".

Let's see, he thought. Liposuction? No, I don't think so… Facial rejuvenation? Uh, no thanks… Tummy tuck? Doubt it… Ah, here we go! Breast implants! Emmett grinned and checked the box next to it.

He rang the bell again and handed it to the woman. "Strange name for a woman," he heard the lady mutter from behind the clear partition. "Emmett. Huh."

A few minutes passed and slowly, all the other ladies were escorted from the waiting room by some nurses. Waiting, waiting, waiting, ahhh. I wonder what Rose will say when she finds I got a boob job!

"McCarty… Emmett?" the nurse asked, looking up in confusion.

"That's me!" Emmett said, jumping out of the chair, sending the chair flying. The nurse ducked, and then stood hastily.

"Uh, okay. Come with me… sir." She walked briskly down a hallway, and Emmett marveled at how many people there were. Most were staring at him, and he waved in return. "Uh… wait here, please."

Emmett smiled, and sat on the chair. Huh. Looks like the inside of a dentists' clinic, from the pictures I've seen. Ugh. What's up with that poster? Oooooh. That one sort of looks like Rose!

"Hello!" A smiling lady approached him. "I'm Dr. Carla, Dr. Baxter's psychologist. Normally, I encourage women not to be afraid, but I'm here to tell you that we don't have a breast implant procedure for men."

"What?" Emmett glared at her, outraged.

"Yes, unfortunately, it's only for women." She smiled, not looking apologetic at all.

"This is so sexist!" Emmett roared, grabbing a tray of supplies and throwing them around the room. "Just because I'm a guy, I can't have a breast implant, whatever that is?"

Several doctors and patients were now peeking through the door, watching Emmett's tirade. "This. Is. So. UNFAIR!" He glared at Dr. Carla, and stormed past all of the watching bystanders.

Just before he burst into the waiting room, he turned around and yelled, "This is not over!"

He jumped into his Jeep, nearly bowling over some women trying to get into the clinic, and growled the entire way home. "Emmett's home!" Rosalie yelled unnecessarily.

"Has anyone seen my credit card?" Edward fumed, Bella looking over his shoulder.

Oops.


A/N: For now, this is a short oneshot. Unless you'd like me to continue? The only way I can know is if you... review!!!