I don't own JSRF…I DO own this fic so don't plagiarize… been a minute, huh?
Shickystyle: Definitely working on not forcing the sex scenes. I think I'm going to save it for the end or something like that, for now I'm just trying to work on their feelings and shit.
99th Street, Blackout District- 6:47pm
We got something to eat and after a while Combo headed back to the garage. Cube and I have decided to go back to the hotel. I don't have anywhere else to go… I want to avoid going back to the garage until Corn cools down and I don't really feel like dealing with my mom and step-dad, they'll just get on my ass about where I've been for the past few days. "Where have you been… are you one of those hoodlums running around spray painting on everything… are you still hanging around that girl… who have you been with… are you out there having sex with God knows who… are you doing drugs… what are you doing about money… when are you going to stop all of this and grow the hell up… no I won't leave you alone… answer me!" I don't like answering their questions, they give me headaches. Cube doesn't ask me questions… speaking of Cube, she doesn't have anywhere to go herself. She lives in the hotel now. Maybe I should get a job… I'll get a job and she'll get a job and we'll move into a crappy little apartment together and bring all of our stolen crap with us and she'll be happy and I'll be happy because we'll be able to just be together like now. I glance at her. Her attention is on where she's going rather than me… that's good, I don't really want her to look at me while I'm looking at her. Maybe that sounds a bit strange but I'd rather her not be looking at me right now. I can tell that she's still hurt. She doesn't want to talk about it though… I wonder what she's thinking right now. I wonder what she thinks of me right now. I still feel like shit because I still haven't apologized to her.
She slightly ahead of me so I speed up a little and I take hold of her hand. She slows to a stop and looks back at me. Her face is without expression, she was thinking. I want to smile at her but I can't bring myself to do it. We're going through the blackout district so there isn't anyone around us right now. I'm still holding her hand I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second.
"What's up?" she asks me.
"…" I open my mouth to respond but I can't say anything. Damn. I let go of her hand, sigh and look down at my skates. I look back up at her and she sighs. She takes my wrist and leads me to the hotel. She pulls me forward and wraps her arm around mine. She's quiet but I think she knows that I want to apologize. That I feel terrible about what I did and said… or better yet, what I didn't say.
Gentle Arms Love Hotel Rm. 507- 7:15pm
Cube sits in her massage chair and starts drinking from a bottle of Vodka that she's had for three days. I turn on the Christmas lights and go over to my usual chair. I slump into the chair across from her. I cover my eyes with my hand for a few minutes. I need to relax. Calm down and relax so I can say what I need to say to her. But it'll be hard… it'll be genuinely hard to just say it to her. What if it doesn't come out right… what if I hurt her feelings… what if… what if I make her cry again… That was a terrible feeling to know that I'd made her cry. She was always so strong, so composed and underneath all of that she was so happy, content… it was a terrible feeling to know that I took all of that from her in an instant. From strength to weakness, composure to anxiety, happiness and contentment to misery and uncertainty. I hurt her… badly. I want to at least try and restore her strength and composure. I want her to like me again.
I could almost cut the tension with a knife. I uncover my eyes and look at the ground, my helmet's on the floor. Must've left it there. I look over at her, she's slumped, her head is bowed and she's covering her eyes. I should say something to her… anything. Just to remove some of the tension. "Hey, Cube?"
"Hm?" she doesn't look up at me.
"Um… do you remember that time that we were playin' hockey on the roof?" She looks up at me. It's weird, she has this shocked look on her face and she stares blankly at me for a few seconds. "Cube?"
She blinks. "Huh?"
I shake my head. "Never mind."
She raises an eyebrow. She continues to stare at me but she soon shifts her eyes to the wall.
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "Cube?"
She re-focuses on me. She looks at me half-expectantly. I don't think she actually expects me to say it. "Hm?"
My mouth goes dry and starts to taste like morning-breath. My lungs tighten slightly. "I…"
She's still looking at me. She looks disinterested in what I have to say now.
She rolls her eyes then she closes them. She rests her chin on her knuckles.
I bow my head and look at my feet. It inhale deep through my nose and just let it out. "Cube I love you!"
Her head snaps to attention. She's absolutely stunned. "Y… you lo… what?"
I suck in more air. "I'm not in love with you… but… I love you. Cube, you're my best friend. I can't really imagine not havin' you around. It… it just wouldn't feel right. Look… I know I fucked up. I know I overreacted to that kiss. I understand how you feel…"
She shakes her head at me. "No, you don't."
She raises a palm to me and I close my mouth. "Gum… Yasu… I don't make it a habit to go around telling everyone that I'm gay. I'm afraid to tell anyone because they always react badly. You aren't the first girl I came out to y'know… there were two others. One of them called me a freak. She hit me a few times, called me a bunch of names and shit and did whatever she could to make me miserable from that point on. I put up with it until she told everyone about it and I gave her a concussion."
My fingers cover my lips. "That's awful…"
She raises her index finger to me and I silence myself and listen. "I'd only known the first girl for a couple of weeks so it was stupid of me to tell her… but the second girl… she hurt me even worse. She was my friend… at the time my best friend. I'd known her for months. She was always so kind to me. She always would ask me to come with her wherever she was going. We always had fun together… and I could always open up to her and tell her if anything was bothering me and vice versa." The look on her face almost cheers me up, she looks so happy thinking about this girl. "I finally decided to do it. I asked her to go with me to a place that we would go to be alone. I told her almost everything. I told her that I was in love with her. I told her that I understood if she didn't feel the same way about me. Do you know what she said?" I shook my head. She bows her head and looks down at her feet. She continues. "She told me that she was okay with it. It didn't bother her… she didn't feel that way about me but it didn't bother her if I was attracted to her, to girls in general. We had some other stuff planned for that day so we went ahead with it all and we went home. You know what though?" I leaned onto the edge of my seat. "After that day…" I notice a little sparkle, and I look at the carpet… there's a spot; another one appears… then another and another. I look up at her. She looks up and tears are streaming down her face. They're rushing down her beautiful face and a part of me dies when I see them. She's biting her bottom lip just slightly to stop herself from quivering. She takes a breath and opens her mouth to speak, pausing just slightly so she can catch her breath. "She never spoke to me again. She… she didn't want anything to do with me."
I'm about to cry now… is that what she thought I was going to do… was that what I was going to do? Could I have done that to her? "Is that what you thought I was goin' to do, Cube? You thought I was goin' to…" She wipes her face and nods. I'm crying now; I can't help it. "Do you really think I'm that heartless?" She's still crying. I get up and cross the room to her. I drop to my knees at her feet and place my hand on her thigh… then I slide it up to her hip and rest my head on her thigh. "Didn't I just tell you Yu… do I have to repeat myself?" She looks confused. She isn't sure how to react to my actions. "I love you. You're my best friend… and I'd never do anything like that to you. I… I feel fuckin' terrible about all of this. I never meant to hurt you so badly… but I did… and I feel like shit for it. I'm sorry… I'm so fuckin' sorry and… I'll never hurt you like that again..."
She looks at me silently for a moment. She reaches her hands down lefts my head off of her thigh. She holds me there for a moment and then her voice slips out in a hoarse whisper. "Do you promise?" She's managed to stop crying but she's still sniffling.
I raise myself off of the ground and pull up to her. I manage to slip my arms around her and I squeeze next to her in the chair. "I swear it to you." She wraps her arms around me. We hold each other for a little while. When she let's go of my I follow suit but I continue to gaze at her. I place my hand to her cheek. She so warm, but her cheeks are still wet. I try to wipe off some of the tears. I never take my eyes off of her and… I do something that surprises her and me…
I kiss her.
I kiss her gently on her cheek. Her eyes widen. I put my arms around her again and I lock her in my embrace. "Cube… are we cool?"
She looks down for a moment then back up at me. "Yeah… we're cool… what are you gonna do about Corn and the others? Are you gonna go back and see what's up?"
I think about that for a moment. What am I gonna do? I know I can't go pleasantly strolling back into the garage like nothing happened. This wasn't me just losing my temper… I beat up two guys and stabbed one of them. Granted I hated them but still… "I think… I think I should lay low for a while and let shit settle before I go back… maybe for a couple'a days…"
"So stay here… nobody else knows where we are and I won't mind you being around now that we're okay."
I look up at her. My arms are still around her. I can't help but smile at her. "Okay… yeah, that'll work." She let's me go and stands up to stretch… I didn't want her too, she was pretty warm.
"Are you tired?" she asks me and I immediately know that she is.
"Yeah… you want to sleep first?"
I contemplate… we're both equally tired… "The beds here are pretty big… let's just share one today."
Her eyes bug at me again. "Um… okay… " She folds her arms and a wry smile spreads across her face. "You aren't gonna do anything… inappropriate to me, are you?" She's joking.
I get up and stretch. "I'm not makin' any promises."
We grab a couple of bats and leave the room, locking up behind us. We cross the hall and enter our "bedroom." I watch her take off her shorts. I take off my skirt. We both leave our shirts on. She crawls into the bed. I close the door and lock it before I cross to the other side of the bed and lay down. It's dark; we can't use the outlets in here so we can't string up the Christmas lights because the outlets don't work. I'm facing away from her. It's quiet for a while. I decide to speak to her. "Cube?"
"Hm?" she answers.
"Thanks… for forgiving me."
"I don't like seeing you beat yourself up."
"Oh… well still thank you."
"You're welcome." We're quiet for about a minute. "Gum?"
"… I'm glad we're friends again."
I feel a warm sensation in my chest and a smile crosses my face. I roll over in the bed. "Yeah… I am too." I stretch my hand out and let it rest on hers.
The last thing I remember is that she fell asleep before me.
We're not quite there yet, but it should be coming within the next few chapters. It took me a while to get this one down because I wanted it to be a touching moment. I think when I finish the story I may make some revisions to every chapter but I'm not worried about that just yet.
Also I'd like to put a shout out to Bagatelle as well as ask all of you to please read and review her work. It's all very good and worth a read (this shout out will also appear in GG:A&M).
Please Review this chapter.