Authors Notes: My first, and mostly likely last, attempt at a Yamasuke, not to mention guy/guy relationships and any romance as a whole. I don't usually write this kind of stuff but my sister begged me. Then I posted it because my sister threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't.
It's nice to be in the Digiworld and not have to worry about evil digimon or evil emperors or evil whatever. It's nice just to be able to ride on Garurumon back, without a care in the world. Makes me feel like a kid again. Gosh, was I ever a kid? Seems so long ago.
Sometimes I miss it, being a kid. I even miss the Digiworld, when I'm not battling for the existence of the world, that is. I like to come here, spend some time Gabumon or Garurumon or whatever mon he is. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we run. Well, he runs. I ride.
But it's hard to get to the Digiworld these days. First, I've got to get one of the younger digidestined, usually TK, to open a gate for me. Second, with school and friends and the band, I just don't have the time.
So, anyway, there I was, doing my impression of a lone wolf, which, when you think about it, doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense. Why not a lone grizzly, or moose, or even a bull elephant? But a lone wolf? You see, without the pack, the lone wolf dies. Or maybe that's the whole point. I don't know.
Either way, I'm no lone wolf. I have Gabumon and TK and my dad and my friends and music. Like I said, the lone wolf dies and I'm far from dead. I'm, in fact, exhilarated, ecstatic and energetic, the direct opposite of dead.
There is nothing I enjoy more than riding on Garurumon's back as he sprints through the terrain of the Digiworld. There is nothing that can compare. It's the closest you can come to flying without spurting wings or stepping into an airplane, or on a digimon.
We're racing along the forest floor, leaping over fallen logs, ducking under overhangs. Garurumon races out of the forest and starts to climb up a ridge. From there you can almost everything. And that's when I see him.
All us digidestined have bad memories connected with one or more digimon. For TK, it's Devimon. At least that's number one on his list. His list is so long I'm surprised he can sleep so soundly at night. Tai visibly pales at the name SkullGreymon. For some reason I don't know, Joe and Mimi get very silent when anyone mentions Leomon. Something must have happened when they split up from the rest of the group. Sora, I think, still longs to use DemiDevimon for a bowling ball and Izzy isn't too fond of machine type digimon, after several tried not kill him, but that's another story. Plus, he doesn't like this digimon called Valmon though I've never met him, so I'm not sure why. I can't tell you Kari's worst encounter because I don't know but I bet a million dollars Gatomon never, ever wants anything to do with Myotismon again.
As for me, I sincerely hate this big cherry tree that goes by the name of Cherrymon. Hey, I know it sounds lame but give me a break. This guy almost managed to do what Devimon, Etemon and Myotismon combined could not, destroy us from the inside. He seriously messed with my mind.
And there he was, just below us on the ridge, my greatest foe and fear. And who's with him, no other than the illustrious leader of the new digidestined.
Oh man, this could be trouble.
I didn't even see him there. I just though he was any old digitree, until he moved and called me over. He was pretty ugly, even for a tree. He had these vines that sort of looked like boogers hanging out of his noise. But his voice sounded nice enough, like a grandfather's, a voice you could trust.
Vee didn't trust him though. Said he got bad vibes. Should have listened to him. But I didn't. I stayed.
At first, I knew they were lies and then, I wasn't so sure. My friends were my friends, weren't they? They cared about me, didn't they? I was leader, wasn't I? People listened to me, sometimes, didn't they? Didn't they? I didn't know.
Part on me said, It's lies. Listen to Veemon. Get out of here, you idiot. But another part was there, another part that said, He's right, you know. No point in denying it any longer. Just admit it. That part made me stay and listen. It's like being in a trance, without really knowing you are. The words just wash right through you and you don't realize you're being washed away with them until someone starts yelling, yelling real loud.
The yelling knocked my mind back in and my brain processed what I was seeing and hearing. Guilt washed over me. What had to I almost done? To make it worse, Matt was there. Not only had he probably witnessed me doing something incredibly stupid but he had to save me. Yuck. I don't like Matt at the best of times and I don't like him any better when he's going red in the face from shouting at the tree like digimon.
Sometime during all this, Veemon decided it was a good time to armor digivolve. Kinda cool how he can just do it now, without me. Kinda sad, too. I'm losing my purpose. I climb up on Raindramon's back and ride off.
I was hoping Matt and Garurmon would leave us alone. They don't, though. Soon they're following us, Matt yelling a couple of choice words over his shoulder. I don't want them to be following us. I know he probably just wants to make sure we're fine and all. He probably feels it's his job, since he's older and all. But I don't want to talk, especially to Matt. I just want to go home and forget this whole thing ever happened.
Garurumon ran up beside me and Raindramon. "Davis, stop." Matt tells me.
"Keep going." I whisper to Raindramon. Raindramon pulls slightly ahead, only to be matched by Garurumon. Garurumon pulled ahead, Raindramon quickly caught up. It kept going on like that. They were two wolves, built for speed and endurance and they were so evenly matched, there would be no winner.
"Davis," Raindramon said, coming to a stop, "I need a rest."
I didn't argue. Instead I slid off Raindramon's back and faced Matt. Might as well see what he wants.
"Nice spot," Matt said absently, avoiding the situation at hand.
"Why are you following me?" I snarled.
"To make sure you stay out of trouble."
When did Matt start to care if I stayed out of trouble or not? He hadn't show any interest before. In fact, I don't think he even likes me. What did Matt want from me? Well, what ever this jerk was up to, I didn't need it.
"Let's go, Raindramon. You've rested long enough."
Matt grabbed me by the collar, "That's no way to treat your friends. Digimon don't exist for you to order them around."
"Let me go."
Unexpectedly, he did just that and I toppled to the ground.
"Now, tell me what went on between you and Cherrymon."
"None of your business."
"Fine, but I'm not letting you back into the real world until I'm convinced you haven't turned traitor."
Traitor? Me? Who did he think I was? I would never, ever turn against my friends, not even if I was tortured to death. Now matter how bad they might treat me. I could never, never... Maybe I'm not the brightest or kindest or friendliest or the most popular but turn traitor? Never. The very thought disgusted me.
I turned away and sat down on the damp grass, my back to Matt. What a jerk. He didn't even know who I was.
Two hours later, besides the fire that I'd built and the fact that Garurumon and Raindramon had dedigivolved, nothing had changed. I looked down at my watch and groaned. I'd never make the band rehearsal, even if Davis decided to suddenly tell me everything, not that that was likely to happen anytime soon. If only the brat would just tell me what I wanted to know. Then we could just go home but, oh no, he has to make this difficult. I am so not cut out for this.
If it had been Tai or Kari or Joe or Izzy or even Mimi, I wouldn't have worried. They have there weaknesses, everyone does, but they probably wouldn't have been tricked by Cherrymon, like I was. But Davis, he's different. I mean, he's like Tai. They're both reckless and like soccer and are why too stubborn for their own good, but Davis is no carbon copy. Tai can get high on life, in any circumstance. He thrives on danger and hopeless situations. He could be dressed in rags, homeless, without a friend in the world and he's still manage to find the good side of life. But Davis, he cares about image and what other people think, like me. And he'd believe Cherrymon, like me. And that's why I had to know what had happened between him and Cherrymon.
Of course, I couldn't figure what had happened until either Davis and Veemon told me and they weren't going to say anything any time soon, which meant waiting. I take out my harmonica. It's been a long time since I've played, even though I carry it whereever I go. I lifted the piece of metal to my mouth and start to play, my mind going back four years. I had always played on my watch, sitting by the fire. It made the night a bit less empty, and a bit more sad. On the plus side, it usually annoyed Tai.
"What are you doing over there?" Davis demanded, "Strangling a cat?"
"I happen to think it's great." I could always depend on Gabumon to come to my defense.
"You also happen to be a St. Bernard with a horn on your head."
I ignore that banter. Ah, the good old days. I could almost taste them.
"And I though you were talented." Davis scoffs. Well, at least he's talking. That didn't take much.
I put down my harmonica. "You want something to eat."
Davis brightens up. "Food? Where?"
I gesture to the surrounding forest. Davis looks doubtful. I try to explain. "We spent an entire summer in the Digiworld. What do you think we ate?"
He still looks doubtful as I pick some fruit from a tree, wrap it up in leaves and put it in the fire. He looks doubtful up until the point where he carefully takes a small bit of cooked fruit and puts it in his mouth. Then he breaks out in a grin and gobbles down the rest, amazingly not burning his tongue.
I'm glad I made enough for seconds and thirds and fourths, not that it looks like I'll be getting from the way Davis is wolfing everything down. I'll be lucky if he doesn't steal my food out of my hands. I watch Davis out of the tops of my eyes. He's not a bad kid. Just too active, too go get 'em for me. I don't have the energy to deal with him.
He sees me watching he and smiles. He likes be the center of attention, no doubt about that. For a brief second, I think he's going to give in and tell me everything. Then he must of realized that he was smiling 'cause he quickly frowned and turned away. Whatever.
Gabumon comes up beside me. He looks kinda embarrassed. "I have to, you know." He whispers.
"Go." I tell him, "I can hold down the fort for awhile."
To hear Gabumon crash into the bush and I lean against a tree, always keeping an eye on either Davis or Veemon. I know one won't try something with out the other. I crumple up the leaf that held my supper and toss it into the fire, watching it burn away to ash. There's a bitter after taste in my mouth. I don't remember there being an after taste. But then it's been over four years since I've had this particular meal. Maybe I forgot.
Davis is watching me. I sit still and don't focus on him, so he won't know I'm looking at him that I know he is looking at me. Why is he looking at me? He looks like a hungry cat, waiting to pounce. What is up with that? I shift my gaze to Veemon. He's confused. Davis knows something Veemon doesn't. What?
The after taste is crawling down my throat. It's familiar. From where? My eyes. They're dry. The smoke, from the fire? Davis is smiling again. I don't like that smile. He knows something. My eye lids. They want to close. Why can't a keep them open? Davis is talking to Veemon. Veemon is digivolving?! What the… I try to get up but I'm paralyzed. Try to call out for Gabumon. I have cotton in my mouth. Then I remember the taste. It's been a long time but I remember that taste. Damn him. Damn him to Hell.
I held it in my clutched hand, about five grams of the plant that had been dried and crushed. I'd prepared them myself, in the kitchen at home. I tested it on my pet mice, then Jun. Very scientific if you ask me. But that's not the point. The point is that it works. I kept it in a plastic baggie in my coat, not knowing exactly what it would be good for, until now.
There's a crash in the in the bush. Veemon, Gabumon and Matt all turn away from the fire, and me, to look. It's only a couple of seconds but it's now or never. I manage to sprinkle only one package with the dried herb.
I watch as Matt removes the leaf wrapped fruit and passes them around. He takes the one with the herb. Damn. I was hoping Gabumon… oh, well, I can't do anything about it now but wait.
I eat my supper. It's not bad. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't waiting for Matt to keel over dead. Not that I wanted him to keel over dead. But you never know with strange drugs. And what am I going to do about Gabumon? He won't let me get away. I was beginning to regret my rash act. Typical. I smile at Matt and then quickly force myself to frown.
Then, Gabumon leaves. Why? I don't know. I don't care. As long as he's out of the picture.
And Matt, he's getting sleepy. I can tell. He's leaning against the tree. He's moving slowly. His eyelids are fluttering. Yes!
"Get ready to digivolve." I tell Vee. He looks at me confused, then he looks to Matt.
"Davish, what have you done?" Vee's worried.
"Trust me." I tell him, "Please, digivolve to Raindramon. Matt will be fine. It doesn't last long and Gabumon will be back soon, I promise."
Veemon looks doubtful but he armorvolves. I knew he would. He is my best friend, after all.
Matt struggles and tries to get to his feet. He fails, topples down. My conscious twinges. Guilt, I hate it. I climb up on Raindramon's back. "Let's go." I say softly, "Before Gabumon comes back."
"I said, go away."
"Matt, Davis is gone."
I crack open an eye and look up at Garurumon standing over me. Why did he digivolve? "Why do I care?"
Before he can answer, I remember the bitter taste in my mouth. That's all it takes. I jump up, swaying a little on my unsteady feet, and climb up on to Garurumon's back. "Go."
As Garurmon raced along, I kept urging him to go faster. Occasional he'd stop to smell, to make sure he was on the right trail. I tapped my fingers against my palm impatiently, hoping Garurumon would just hurry up and go. I couldn't see straight, my head was pounding, my stomach was in knots and still I urged Garurumon on. I don't think my friend knew I was under the affect of Darcie's Potion. In fact, I know he didn't know. He would never have let me urge him on if he knew.
I had the pleasure of getting aquatinted with Darcie's potion on File Isle, after we dealt with Shellmon but before Seadramon. It wasn't a big episode, unlike some of our battles, so it's mostly forgotten. Still, I wouldn't want to relive the experience.
Darcie's potion is a leaf on a certain plant, found only in the Digiworld. When even small amounts of this leaf are eaten, it produces some interesting things. It knocks a person out briefly and when that person wakes up, their emotions are extremely … um … powerful. It's all temporary, thank God. So, if you sorta like a person, after Darcie's potion, you'd be madly, deeply in love, for a short period of time. Then things would go back to normal and you'd be extremely embarrassed. Coincidentally, someone who was a bit upset would become a raging bull. I was that bull and Davis had become a red cape fluttering in the wind.
Maybe if I'd been thinking clearly, I would have taken time to realize Davis is way smarter than any of us ever give him credit for. Not only did he have to find the plant and figure out what it did but he also managed to get me to eat it. Damn. I hate underestimating people.
I saw them ahead of us. They didn't have a much a head start. We'd catch up to them soon. And this time no more mister nice guy.
"Go after Raindramon and keep him busy. I've got to handle Davis."
"Matt." I could hear the warning in my friend's voice but I choose to ignore it.
"Run up beside Raindramon." I instructed, as a prepared to jump. Garurumon sprinted ahead and came up so fast neither Davis or Raindramon had time to react. I jumped, ramming into Davis and throwing us both to the ground. Raindramon and Garurumon continued to run. And that's when I lost all sense.
Matt grabbed me off the ground and wretched my left arm behind my back. I yelped, mostly from surprise, and he smacked me over the head. He actually hit me. He was mad. Madder than I'd ever seen him. Madder than I've seen anyone, actually.
He dragged me back to the smoldering fire, one hand pulling back my arm, the other one yanking my hair, cussing my out all the while. If I didn't move fast enough, he'd rip out some hair or twist my arm or kick me in the leg. I didn't put up much of a fight. I was too shocked, I guess. And maybe a little scared, but not much. I've faced evil digimon and evil emperors and digimon being controlled by evil emperors but it's an entirely different situation when someone you though you could trust turns on you.
Back at the fire, Matt threw me to the ground and I got a face full of dirt. I looked up to see Matt taking off his belt. I swear my blood ran cold. All I could think of was, Matt not going to use that on me, is he? I've never, NEVER, been hit in my life. I mean, as punishment. Fights and soccer doesn't count My parents don't believe in that.
He yanked me roughly to my knees. "Please, don't. I'm sorry." Oh, was I ever sorry. I was so sorry. I was pathetic. I was so sorry and so pathetic the mixture of the two was making me sick.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not going to rape you or anything."
Rape me? That had never even crossed my mind. And that's scary, 'cause he could, if he wanted to. He doesn't though. I think he just said that to scare me. Instead, he wrenches my arms behind my back and lashes them together.
"Ow. That hurts."
Matt made the belt tighter. "You're not going anywhere." When he starts taking off my belt, I spit and call him a pervert. It looks like he's going to slap me again, then decides not to and just binds my ankles together. He leaves me there, to get more firewood. I lie down on the ground, wishing Veemon were here. The ground is wet and cold. Oh, I am so pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. That's the only word I know that can possibly describe me.
Matt comes back, throws some dead twigs on the fire and sits down across me, staring coldly. I shiver under his gaze. The cool ground doesn't help much. I'm only wearing a T-shirt. My jacket got lost in the struggle. It lays about three feet away. I glance at Matt and, when I see he's not paying attention, start crawling toward my jacket.
"Davis, what are you doing?"
I stop moving and settle back into the clammy earth. There's no way I'm crossing Matt again, even if he looks a lot calmer.
"My jacket." I say lamely to the dirt because I don't think Matt hears.
I'm pathetic. I remember the first time I learned that word. I was in grade two and my class was practicing this song for some concert. We were doing the best we could, or, at least, I was, but that wasn't good enough for our teacher. She yelled at us and called us pathetic. I went home crying that day and asked what pathetic meant. I was told it meant sad, not sad as in unhappy, sad as in lame.
And, you know, Davis, you are sad. You are lame. You are a pathetic little boy lying in the dirt.
My whole body wracked with sobs.
"Davis?" Matt's voice sounded upset, worried and even a little guilty.
"Why does everyone hate me?" I wail. I can't help it. "Why can't anyone ever be nice to me? Why?"
"I don't hate you."
"You have me tied up like a wild animal."
"I have my reasons."
I just sobbed.
"Can I get you anything?" Matt askes, a couple of minutes later, after I've finished crying.
Untie me, was what I want to say, but I don't think that's likely. "My jacket."
A moment later, Matt wraps my jacket around me. Then he lifts my head and puts something soft and green under my head. I look over. He isn't wearing his jacket anymore.
I don't get this. Only ten minutes ago, I thought he was going to beat me. Now he's trying to make me comfortable. I don't get it.
"Will Garurumon hurt Raindramon?"
"No. He'll just force him to dedigivolve back to Veemon."
"Oh … Matt?"
"Why are you doing this? And why do you think I'll turn traitor? And why are you so upset?"
"It's a long story."
"I have time."
"Tell you what. I'll give you a choice. You tell me what you and Cherrymon talked about and in return I'll either tell you my story or I'll let you go.
He thinks I'll choose b).
"Okay," I say, snuggling closer to the green jacket.
"Okay, go ahead and tell your story. I'm listening."
I can tell from the expression on his face that I was right. He was expecting me to choose b).
"Okay," he says a little uneasily, "here goes…"
Okay, I admit it. I got a little carried away. Davis didn't deserve half of what I did to him. It was just that I was so mad, so frustrated. At Davis, at Cherrymon, but mostly at my self.
I didn't realize I was going overboard until I took off my belt. It was my intention in the beginning to tie him up. Then I saw how scared Davis was and I realized just what this must have looked like to him. I got this sick feeling in my stomach. That was just gross. "Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm not going to rape you or anything."
Though, for a brief second, I had thought of teaching him a lesson he wouldn't be soon forgetting. I'd always gotten the feeling that's not how Motomiya kids were disciplined. Not like my dad's preferred methods. I don't get grounded. I get my dad's belt.
I don't think it's constitutes as abuse. He never does it out of anger or when he's been drinking. It just happens to be the way my dad was brought up and I'm the first to admit I deserve it. Like the night I came home drunk. Of course, he didn't do anything that night or even the next day. He waited until I was dead sober and he could think straight. Oh man, I was sore for weeks. Still I was pretty ashamed with myself, when I thought of hurting Davis in anger. I figured I'd feel even more guilty when my head cleared.
I was right especially when Davis started to cry. Not crocodile tears, though I'd doubt he'd resort to that, but real sobs.
Great going, Matty-boy, you've just single-handedly damaged their leader's self-confidence. And when he tells the others…oh, I don't even want to think about that. Just don't be surprised when Tai punches you good. And the worst part was, I couldn't just let him go and apologize because, if he wasn't going to run before, he sure as hell was going to run now.
That's what you get Matty-boy, for not keeping your temper in check. Now, you get to sit here and watch him cry. Now you get to hear how much he's hurt and how much he hates you. I hope you're happy with yourself.
That's what you get Matty-boy, for not keeping your temper in check. Now, you get to sit here and watch him cry. Now you get to hear how much he's hurt and how much he hates you. I hope you're happy with yourself.
I wasn't. I was severely disappointed in myself. I'd always thought I was better then that. I had to ease my conscious, so I asked him what he wanted. I was kind of hoping he'd say he wanted to be let go, so I could let him go on a technicality.
He didn't, though. He asked for his jacket. I gave it to him then, as an after thought, took off my own jacket and put it under his head. He didn't say anything, not that you usually talk to people you hate.
Well, duh, Matty-boy, how else do you expect him to act.
That's way I was a little surprised when he asked me about Garurmon. I tried to assure him. I don't think I sounded very convincing. I kept thinking of MetalGarurumon and WarGreymon at each other's throats. That had been my fault as well.
Then Davis wants to know why. He'll tell what he and Cherrymon talked about if I spill my story. Yah, right.
I decide to give him a choice, freedom or my story. I'm positive he'll go for freedom. But Davis, like so many other time today, surprises me and picks the story.
I try to gather my thoughts. I can't go back now and besides, in a way, I want to tell him this, get it off my chest so to speak. I need to tell him, but it's kind of scary. So far only Gabumon knows my secret. How will Davis react?
Matty-boy, you have basically destroyed your image. It can't get any worse.
"Here goes." I start, trying to figure exactly how I'm going to sit. It'll feel kinda weird facing Davis, since he's basically looking down and away from me, so I elected to stare into the fire.
"You've heard of the Dark Masters?"
"What do you know?"
"Only that you fought them and won."
"You've never heard about TK getting kidnapped?"
"TK got kidnapped?"
"Yeah, by Puppetmon. I went kinda nuts. I was, and I guess I still am, pretty overprotective of him. I was all, 'Don't run TK, you might fall.' or 'Don't wade too far out, you can't swim very well.' or 'Don't climb so high.'"
"That doesn't sound like you."
"I was just like that to TK. No one else mattered. Tai could have broken his arm. Izzy could have passed out from malnurtrision. Mimi could have, I don't know, sprained a finger or something. I wouldn't have cared. All that mattered was TK. When I lost him, I wanted to go after him but I couldn't. I felt like I was the only one who could rescue him and I couldn't. I had to stay and fight with my friends."
"What happened?" There's interest in Davis' voice and from the corner of my eye, I can see Davis has gotten to his knees.
"TK managed to save himself, with Patamon's help."
"You must have been proud."
"I should have been but I wasn't. I was hurt. My little brother didn't need me any more. And I realized something. I realized I was the same jerk I always was. All around me people were changing. TK was growing up. Izzy was more social. Mimi didn't whine as much. Joe was taking on more responsibilities. Tai was becoming a better leader. But me, I wasn't becoming a better friend. If anything, I was backsliding. I was sick with jealousy. So I did the only thing I could think of, I ran away.
"Gabumon followed me. He's a true friend. He tried to convince me to come back but before I had a chance to listen, I met Cherrymon. He started telling me a pack of lies. The worst part is I believed them and I turned against me friends. Gabumon was with me all the way. He wanted to prove he was my friend and would stand by me all the way. He fought the others, even though it must have hurt him.
"After that, we ran again and almost didn't come back in time." I closed my eyes and saw Tai. I could feel what I felt that day. Total, absolute horror, despair and a sense of failure. I had thought Tai was dead and I had thought I had been responsible for his death. It is the most terrible feeling. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I felt something touching my shoulder. I turn my head and gasp. I was so deep into my story, I had forgotten all about Davis. Now he's sort of nuzzling my arm with the top of his head.
"Davis, what are you doing?"
Davis looks up and smiles somewhat sheepishly, "You sound sad. I'm trying to comfort you but it's kind of hard without any arms."
Oh, wow. I didn't know but then how could I? How could I know that the older digidestined ever fought with each. I'd only seen Matt punch Tai once and, as I understood it, it was out of friendship. So, how could I know? But it made sense. It made sense that he was afraid I would turn on the others. But it hadn't been anything like it.
I shiver and this time it isn't from the ground. If Cherrymon had gotten Matt to turn against the others, could he have made me do what he said? What if Matt hadn't interfered when he did? Would I even be alive?
Matt's staring off into the fire. He's not talking, just staring. And he looks so sad that I forget my own thoughts. I have to cheer him up. I'd give him a hug, which always cheers me up, but it might be kind of hard. Still, I'll try.
"Davis, what are you doing?"
"You sounded sad." I tell him truthfully, "I'm trying to comfort you but it's kind of hard without any arms."
"Oh, Sorry." Matt says, suddenly realizing I'm still tied up and starts undoing the belts. I can't help but wince as the blood rushes back into my hands and feet. Ow, ow, ow.
"I'm fine. I'm fine."
Matt looks at me a moment, as if expecting something. Then I realize he is expecting something. He's expecting me to tell him about Cherrymon. Well, I hate to disappoint him. "He told me that I was a horrible leader who only did things for my own gain. Tai's a much better leader."
At first, Matt nodded, then smiled, then grinned and then burst out laughing. I sat and I could feel my jaw drop. How could he? I didn't laugh at him, did I? I scowl, "Yeah, and he said because of that I should kill myself and get myself out of everyone's way."
"He told me that I was a horrible leader who only did things for my own gain. Tai's a much better leader."
I didn't mean to laugh. I swear I didn't. It just sort of came out. I think it was partly from relief. I thought I was out a the danger zone. So, Davis had been told he wasn't a great leader. So what? Neither was Tai. I'd tell Davis about some of Tai's earlier exploits except I wouldn't want to destroy Davis' image of his idol.
"Yeah, and he said because of that I should kill myself and get myself out of everyone's way."
I stopped laughing and my jaw snapped shut. We weren't out of the danger zone, after all. "You don't believe Cherrymon, do you? It's just a bunch of lies."
Davis shrugs. "What makes you think it was a lie? Everyone else seems to believe it."
"I don't. The others don't either."
"I doubt that. Why do they even need me?"
"I asked myself that once. The answer is because you're their friend. And they're yours. And I'm your friend too, even though I don't act like it. "
"Yeah, right. Why'd you laugh?"
I wanted to explain but to do that I'd have to tell him of the burnt map and the kids in their underwear, in beds that were flying madly around in the air. I'd have to tell him about the fights and the fears and all those stupid risks we took. But to tell him all that would take too long, so I just apologize, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Mean it about the suicide."
Davis looks at the fire. It's burning down. "No, I don't mean it. Suicide is a stupid answer. I still think I'm a horrible leader though. And I don't believe you're my friend."
"You'll get better. If it's any consolation, Tai got better. In fact, you're better than Tai was when he started out." Davis is silent. "Well, I've had enough of the Digiworld. You coming?"
"I have to wait for Veemon."
"Oh." How could I have forgotten about the digimon. I must be really out of it today. "Ah, I guess I'd better wait for Gabumon, if you don't mind."
"Because if you want me to go, I will."
"Because I'll understand."
"I said, it was fine."
Oh man, get a hold of yourself Matty-boy. You sound so lame. You should just go. Gabumon won't mind. I don't go though. I can't. Partly, it's because I don't trust Davis completely. He might not turn traitor but he may be suicidal. That though had never occurred to me. It's an oxymoron, Suicidal Davis. Or is his happy-go-lucky side just a mask?
I guess it also has to do with how horrible I feel, dragging him through this whole mess. Truthfully, I want to know if Davis will forgive, without me actually having to ask forgiveness. But I guess there is no easy way out of this one, "Davis, about earlier-"
"Just like that?"
"Sure, unless you want something more formal, it's fine."
But it wasn't fine. Not really. Nothing should be that easy. And if it's too easy, you have to make it harder. One of my dad's theories in life.
"Davis, what is your full name?"
"Daisuke Motomiya. Why?"
You don't have to do this, I tell myself, Davis doesn't care. But I do. Oh, am I ever a sucker for punishment.
"Davis, could you stand up for a moment?"
I really can't believe want I'm seeing. This is just priceless. Too cool rock star Matt is actually on his knee's begging for my forgiveness. Man, and I thought I did stupid things but this takes the cake. Man, this guy's a sucker for punishment. But, in a way, it's kind of nice, too. I get the feeling Matt doesn't humble himself to many people.
"So, Daisuke Motomiya, will you forgive me?"
For on evil minute, I consider saying no. I don't though. It doesn't seem appropriate. If it was Tai, I wouldn't hesitate. But this is Matt and he's being perfectly serious. I guess the word is noble. Stupid, but noble.
"You're forgiven Matt Takaishi."
I sit down. Matt gets off his knees. "Was that formal enough for you?"
"Yes, thank-you." Matt actually sounds more relaxed, "Though the name's Yamato Ishida."
"Really? I just guessed."
"Yamato." I muse, "That's a nice name."
"So is Daisuke."
"Why don't people call you Yamato?"
Matt shrugs, "Not many people know it's my real name and even fewer call me by it. Plus, fans don't want some long complicated name. They want something quick and easy that will stick in their heads. Why aren't you Daisuke?"
"Same reason, I guess. Except for the fan girls. Something quick and easy. I think that's what Jun use to call me. She doesn't call me much of anything anymore."
"Same thing with me and Takeru?"
"TK short for Takeru?"
"Yeah, just like Tai is Taichi."
"Or Kari is Hakari."
"And Izzy's real name in Koushiro."
"Wow, that's a stretch."
"Yeah. But how do you get Yolei from Miyako or Cody from Iori?"
"Yolei, that's her middle name. Cody is a nickname his father gave him."
"It kind of reflects the person, doesn't it? There's this side everyone knows, the nickname. But there's this other side, a hidden side, the real name."
Deep. "But," I pointed out, "Mimi and Sora don't have nicknames."
"Do you know their last names?"
"…" Okay, so he got me on that one. Funny, I thought I knew the others. But I didn't. Sheesh, I didn't even know Sora's last name. I got to see a side of Matt I never knew existed. Did he see a hidden side of me today?
"I like my name." Matt says, "I wish people called me by it more often."
"I could call you Yamato and you could call me Daisuke."
"I'd like that… Daisuke."
We sat in silence for a few moments, watching the fire burn away, before I spoke up again. I don't practically like silence. It creeps me out. I'd rather have Jun yelling my ear off.
"So..." Of course, it doesn't help that we have nothing to talk about
"So..." Mat--- Yamato repeats me, picking at the ground. He's not nervous, is he?
This is creepy. I kinda wish Veemon would come back. Yamato and me have a truce and understanding but friendship wise what really do we have in common? The name thing yeah. It''ll be nice to hear my real name. For that sake I can try again.
"So..have you seen any good movies lately?" Not the best conversation starter but it was a start.
"Um, I saw Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon."
"Oh? Any good?"
He shrugged. "S'ok. The ending was kind of weird though. So, you seen any good movies lately?"
I moved closer to him on his side of the fire. It was going out but I wasn't going to get any more wood. It's getting too dark to see. I hope Vee's ok and, of course, Gabumon, too. They're sure taking their time coming back.
"I saw a good horror last week."
He looks up slightly interested, drawing his knees up to his chin. I took the opportunity to move closer to him. It was getting chilly and nothing beats body warmth.
"Night of the Living Dead."
"Really? A sequel or the original?"
"A remake of the original."
"That's good. Have you seen the sequels?"
"I saw the third one, with the zombie chick sticking nails threw her hands and stuff. So you like horror?"
"I like to watch one whenever."
"Cool. Did you see that Scary Movie?"
"And?" I prompted
I let out a laugh and move closer. Now we're actually touching. "It wasn't that bad. Have you seen the sequel?"
I shrug "Your loss."
"I sincerely doubt that." Yamato looks over at me, "So, what movies have you seen?"
"All the Nightmare on Elm Streets and Friday the Thirteenths. You?"
"I've seen them. How about all the psychos?"
"I've seen those. The original's the best cause its Alfred Hitchcock. The remake sucks majority and the sequels are ok for the 80's"
"Gotta agree with you. I never knew you watched all that kind of stuff."
"No one else I know is really is into it. TK doesn't like horror and he refuses to watch them with me. Tai prefers action which is ok."
"Yah, actions good. So maybe we can go to one sometime?"
He looks surprised. I guess I'll have to take him up on that friendship thing. He smiles. "Yeah I'd like that."
Suddenly, I shiver and Matt looks worried. "You cold?"
Open my mouth to say no and end up with my teeth chattering.
"Come over here." I move over a bit closer and Yamato wraps his arms around me. I tense. Yamato laughs. "Relax. I'm not going to kiss you or anything."
"Sure." I lean against his chest and my breathing falls in sync with his heartbeat.
"Good night, Daisuke"
Drip. Drip. Drip.
I knew, even before I had opened my eyes, it was the dew dripping off the leaves, just like I knew it was Davis… (Daisuke! Daisuke! His name is Daisuke now!) I mean, Daisuke. Just like I knew it was Daisuke in my arms. I don't know how I knew. I just did.
It took me a little longer to recall how he ended up in my arms. Waiting for Veemon and Gabumon. Apologizing to Daisuke. The discussion over our name. Then we had sat and talk, while we waited for our digimon to return. We'd fallen asleep, before they had returned.
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Daisuke. I knew then I was attracted to him. Funny, it didn't come as some revelation, like thunder and lightening going off across the sky. Just a simple fact. I wondered how long it had been nagging in the back of my subconscious.
I also wondered if, once we got back, if we could go out for pizza or maybe a movie. That'd be fun.
Before I know I'm actually doing it, I lean over and brush my lips against Daisuke's forehead. You can hardly call it a kiss but I don't want to wake him up. I look quickly around, but Veemon and Gabumon, who have draped themselves over our legs, are deep in sleep. They didn't see a thing but Daisuke's smiling in his dream. Did he feel my kiss? I hope so.
I want to kiss him again but stop myself. Better take it slow. Maybe he doesn't want a relationship. Maybe he doesn't want this kind of relationship. Maybe him doesn't want anything to do with me. Better to take it slow.
I lay back in the wet grass, thinking. We could go to the movies tonight. There's an action flick playing. Not as good as horror but action is okay. Then ice cream. No one can refuse ice cream. Oh, the possibilities.
Yamato thinks I'm asleep. I'm not though. I woke up before he did but I didn't open my eyes. I kept them closed and lay still, enjoying Yamato's warmth against my body. It's nice, being held. You feel protected. You feel cared for. You feel needed, though I can't explain why.
The he kissed me and my whole body tingled. Was that ever nice. I wish he'd do it again. I like this. Maybe we can go out for pizza or ice cream. Maybe a movie. There's this cool looking action film I wan to see. Lots of explosions. Awesome special effects. Oh, the possibilities......
The End (Maybe)
Notes: I almost didn't get this finished in time. It might be a little rough around the edges and I didn't get a final spelling and grammar check in but if I don't post this now, it will never get posted. I'd like to thank Goggled Monkey for writing up that bit about the horror movies. Without her help I would never have gotten this done in time. Review, please, and be nice.