So, because i needed a laugh, and because i love the Wizard of Oz, i just had to write this!! hope everyone enjoys!! I don't own any of the character's of either story, altohugh i wish i did!!! Wizard of OZ written by Frank l Baum 1900...
Dean briefly spotted Sam, taking aim at the old haggard witch, out of the corner of his eye just before he was hurled against another wall. Hitting the hard stone at full speed, Dean crumpled to the ground with a groan. "Plan on shooting her any time soon, Dorothy, or are ya lookin' for a bucket of water to dump over her head."
"Kinda difficult when she keeps disappearing and reappearing, Dean," Sam complained, redirecting his aim to the far corner of the old stone cottage.
The old hag smacked a wax figure, she held in her spindly hand, against the gray stone, and Dean went careening through the air, slamming into the far wall.
"Shoot the bitch, already." Dean braced himself against the rough stone, and had barely managed to get to his feet when he was hurtled into a thick wooden support beam. Dean slowly stood, the room shifting in and out of focus, as blood dripped from a deep gash on his forehead. He touched the cut, and winced. "Gettin' kinda tired of being a human pinball, Sammy."
Taking aim, Sam fired an iron round into the witch's heart just as Dean was thrown headlong into another study beam. The witch's screech reverberated off the walls, as she slumped to the ground. Sam stared at her a moment, waiting to see if she'd move, and when she didn't he swung to find his brother. Dean lay in a tangled mess on the ground, his arm bent at an awkward position, his eyes closed.
"Dean," Sam shouted, rushing toward him. He knelt beside his brother, and quickly checked to see if he was breathing, and let out a deep sigh of relief when he saw his brother chest slowly rise and fall. "Come on, wake up, dude." Gently patting Dean on the side of the face, Sam tried to coax him awake, but Dean didn't respond.
A worried frown creased Sam's forehead. "It's gonna be okay, Dean, gonna get you to the hospital, and they'll fix you up." Sam pocketed his gun, hauled Dean to his feet, hooking his arm around his brother's waist, and dragged him out of the cottage toward the Impala.
Dean's eyelids fluttered open briefly and then he blinked hard against the near blinding array of technicolor lights assaulting his senses. Tall, lush green grass prickled at his back, and the sides of his face. He slowly rolled on his side, grimacing as pain shot through his throbbing head.
He squinted, then took a furtive glance around at his surroundings, trying to determine where he was. Everything appeared at least ten times brighter than it normally would look, except one lone house, that stood as bleak and gray amongst the rainbow of colors.
Hearing the sound of chittering laughter, Dean glanced around at the small homes that looked like large mushrooms, nestled in and amongst the trees. In the center of the tiny village, there was a flowing stream with bluer than blue water. A small bridge lead over the stream and into the town. Beyond that, a swirling golden road spread outward from the center of the town.
"Yeah, so not in Kansas anymore."
Dean looked around for any sign of Sam, but couldn't find him. "Sam?" he called out, and when he heard rustling in the trees and large leafy fronds, he yelled a little louder. "Sammy, where the hell are you?" The trees went still, and Dean could hear the muffled sound of worried voices.
Bracing his hand against a tree, with shiny leaves that almost looked like plastic, Dean rose to stand on shaky legs, and trudged toward the ramshackle gray house. He wasn't even halfway there when he noticed a small iridescent bubble floating toward him, growing larger the closer it got to the bridge.
The bubble burst, spraying droplets of water everywhere, and a beautiful woman with a reddish-blonde hair, wearing a glistening crown appeared. Dean did a double-take, and then swung to stare at his surroundings again.
"Oh, you gotta be freakin' kidding me." He swivelled to face her again. "Must've hit my head harder than I thought."
She looked at him with a confused and somewhat wary expression on her face. "Are you a good witch or — "
"Yeah, let's cut through all that good witch, bad witch, blah, blah, blah, and start with you telling me where my brother, Sam, is."
"The munchkins called to me, and said your house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East," she said as if she hadn't heard him.
"So not my house." He gestured toward the rundown home with shattered windows. "I'm thinkin it belongs to Dorothy . . . different part of Kansas."
"So you're not a witch?"
A cocksure grin settled on Dean's face. "I'm a Winchester, born and bred, and witch killer extraordinaire."
She raised a delicate brow, and pointed toward the house with her wand. "Then you did kill the Wicked Witch of the East?"
"Yeah . . . I mean no. Sammy killed the witch or at least he better have, or I'm so kickin' his ass."
"Then the ruby slippers belong to him. Where is he, so I can give them to him?"
Dean nearly choked on a laugh, hearing that. "I'm thinkin' Sammy's not much of a ruby slipper kinda guy."
"Well, then they are yours, Winchester." She waved her wand and the slippers magically appeared in her hand. She gave them to Dean, who quickly pocketed them in his leather jacket.
"The name's Dean, and I ain't wearin' any damn slippers either, Glinda."
A look of shocked surprised graced the good witch's face. "You must be a very powerful wizard to know my name, and to also refuse the magic inside the ruby slippers." Glinda raised her hands in the air, and gestured for the munchkins to come out of hiding. "Come out, come out, my little munchkins and meet Dean, grand wizard and self-proclaimed witch killer extraordinaire."
From the trees, houses, manholes, and large birdlike nests, little munchkins emerged, filling the street. They giggled and chatted amongst themselves as they cautiously eyed Dean, still somewhat hesitant.
"You're so not gonna break into song here, are you?" As an afterthought, he added, "But, if anyone from the Lollipop Guild has an extra lollipop hangin' around, I could sure use a sugar fix right about now."
A man with orange curling hair, and moustache to match slowly crept forward, and handed him a sucker.
"Thanks." Dean ripped off the wrapper and licked the lollipop several times, then drew it away from his lips, and pointed toward the yellow brick road with it. "So, I take it, that I have to follow the yellow brick road to OZ, where the 'wizard'," Dean made a hanging quotes gesture with his fingers, and then continued, "Will have me go an' kill the Wicked Witch of the West, and then I will go back to OZ, just to find out I could've gotten home all the time by clicking my heels together three times, right?"
"The Wizard of Oz, is very powerful, but very mysterious. If anyone can help you find your way home, it's him." Glinda turned and waved her wand in the direction of the Emerald City.
He inclined his head, and looked to where she pointed, and saw an emerald glow settling on the horizon. "Ah, what the hell. But, I swear to God, I better not hear anyone singing, Follow the Yellow Brick Road, or I'm so gonna kick some munchkin ass."
All the munchkins, shuffled backward, hearing the threat, and the one who had crept out the manhole, dove back inside. Dean strode to the yellow brick road, followed it as it swirled outward, like he'd seen Dorothy do so many times before on tv, and headed toward the Emerald City.
Dean followed the road for a long time, wishing for about the hundredth time he'd at least asked for some water for the long journey. The sun was settling in the west when he came upon the infamous fork in the road. He paused and glanced up at the scarecrow, waiting for it to speak. "Dude, you — "
"Don't even say it, Dean." The scarecrow raised it's head, and Dean laughed, looking at Sam all garbed in a scarecrow apparel, straw sticking out beneath his brown cap, gloves, and boots. "Just get me the hell down from here."
Dean stopped laughing long enough to untie Sam from the post he was bound to, and then started laughing again. "Huh, guess that makes me the smart one, doesn't it, oh, brainless one."
"So not funny, Dean."
"Seriously, dude, could you sing, If I Only Had a Brain, for me?"
"You're such a jerk," Sam grumbled.
Sam yanked off the dirty brown hat he wore, and straw scattered everywhere, enticing Dean to chuckle even harder. Scowling at Dean, Sam pulled the burlap sack off his head, and raked his fingers through his long brown hair.
"Glad you're finding this funny. You weren't the one stuck up on that pole for the last several hours." Sam stretched his long arms across his chest, and then briskly rubbed them, trying to get the feeling back into them. His legs wobbled precariously, feeling as if they were made out of straw, and almost fell, but Dean caught him.
"Dude, that was an awesome impression of the scarecrow." Dean's lips twitched as he tried to control his laughter. A mirthful, devilish gleam lit in his green eyes. "Someone's been secretly taking acting lessons when they say they're at the library doing research, aren't they?"
Sam glared at Dean for a second and then his frown slowly turned to a grin, dimples forming in his cheeks, and then full-on peals of laughter ripped from his lips.
"What's so funny?" Dean asked, releasing Sam.
"I'm . . . I'm the scarecrow."
"Yeah, already established that, brainless."
"I'm the scarecrow." He laughed even harder, grabbing onto to Dean's shoulder to steady himself.
"Again, we've already covered that. So what's so damn funny."
"Well, that would mean you're Dorothy."
Scowling, Dean pushed his brother away. Sam nearly fell over, but quickly regained his balance.
"Okay, so you're not the scarecrow."
"Oh, I'm so the scarecrow, Dorothy." Sam guffawed. "Tell me, did you sing, Somewhere Over the Rainbow? Cause I gotta tell ya, I'd pay good money to hear it again, if you did." Sam stopped laughing, and stared seriously at his brother for a moment, but there was a devious twinkle in his hazel eyes. "And where are those ruby red slippers, gorgeous. Come on, don't be a tease, model them for me, sweetheart. You know what a turn on high-heels are for me." He puckered his lips and blew Dean a kiss.
"I'm so gonna kick your ass after we find our way back home. You know that, right?" Dean turned to look at the road, figuring out which way they should go. "So which way, Sam?"
Sam pointed to the left. "Well, some people go this way." He crossed one arm over the other, pointing to the right. "And some people go this way." Glancing at Dean, he grinned boyishly. "And some people go both ways."
"You're lovin' this, aren't you?"
"You gotta admit it's kinda fun. It's our own little Ozfest. We already know who the baddie is, and how to kill it . . . and if we get bored all you have to do is click your ruby red slippers together three times, and we're back home in the Impala."
"Yeah, guess you're right." Dean turned to the left, and followed the road. "Besides, if you're the scarecrow, I'm just dying to find out who the tinman, cowardly lion, and the Wizard of OZ are."
Sam matched his brother's stride, slipping slightly every few feet or so, on his wobbly legs. As he strode, he took in the lush greenery, and giant blossoming flowers, marveling at all the colors. "Kinda makes you want to sing, We're Off to See the Wizard, doesn't it?"
"Um, not so much."