For a brief moment, McMurphy had no idea what had just happened to him.

Blinking in disbelief, he sat up and watched as Chief disappeared through the window, heading for Canada no doubt.

Rubbing the back of his head, McMurphy looked around with an arched eyebrow before he then slowly looked down and over his shoulder.

He found himself looking at his own dead body, the pillow Chief had used to smother him still covering his face.

"Holy shit." He exclaimed, both eyebrows raised in surprise. "I'm fucking dead!"

Shaking his head, McMurphy tried to understand everything that had led up to this point and soon enough memories came flooding back to him regarding Billy's suicide, his attempt on Nurse Ratched's life, and the lobotomy that he received as punishment.

Blinking slightly at this, McMurphy shrugged and a small smile came to his lips.

"Thanks, Chief." He said to no one and he watched in mild surprise as a small white light suddenly appeared on the far wall and slowly grew wider, becoming a doorway.

"Hoooee! Those priests weren't kidding when they mentioned walking towards the light did they?" he laughed and he got to his feet easily enough, noticing with a cocked eyebrow that his bare feet did not touch the floor.

He headed for the light, a smile playing on his lips as he thought about the beautiful female angels he was going to raise hell with, but just as he was about to walk in, soft crying caught his attention, and he stopped with a frown.

Tilting his head to the side, he listened and soon confirmed that someone was in fact crying and McMurphy stepped away from the light to go and find out who it was.

Something about the crying was familiar, but McMurphy frowned as he shook his head.

That was impossible, the kid had died earlier in the morning and he should have moved on by now!

Following after the sound, McMurphy found himself heading for the doctor's office where Billy had slit his throat and when he looked inside, he stared with wide eyes at the source of the noise.

Billy Bibbit sat in the far corner of the office, hugging his knees to his chest as he sobbed into them, his golden hair ragged looking and unkempt.

There was a puddle of dark blood on the floor around him, and McMurphy wondered how he could still be bleeding if he was dead.


Slowly the young man lifted his head and McMurphy was glad that he was dead and unable to throw up anymore.

Billy's throat was still widely slit like a second mouth, and blood was still spilling from the wound as if it was fresh and he was still alive, covering his neck and the front of his white shirt.

Blinking, Billy frowned slightly at McMurphy.

"Wh…Why…Are you he-here?" he stammered softly. "And…Why c-c-can you see me?"

"Billy…You're dead. You died earlier in the morning." McMurphy noted, slowly walking over to stand in front of the nervous young man.

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

"D…Does that mean you…you're dead too?" Billy asked softly and when McMurphy nodded, fresh tears came to his eyes as he buried his face once more against his knees.


"My fault…" the young man moaned miserably, shaking his head slowly.

Rolling his eyes, McMurphy shook his head as he sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around his thin shoulders, fingers lightly ruffling blonde hair that was soft like a woman's.

"Billy, didn't you see the light after you died?" he asked, concern in his voice.


"No?" When Billy nodded, McMurphy frowned and he looked away, trying to figure out how this could be.

He vaguely remembered once being told by a priest that people who committed suicide were not allowed in Heaven or Hell; that for their grave sin they would be forced to stay on Earth as a wandering spirit, tormented by their self inflicted wounds, the knowledge that they would never be allowed to cross over driving them mad until the final trumpet would be blown and they would disappear into nothingness.

His jaw tightened at the idea of Billy being stuck in this godforsaken place for all of eternity and he narrowed his eyes as he looked back at the young man.

This place had all ready stolen enough from the kid, he didn't deserve to be punished further by not being allowed to escape in death.

"Billy, stop crying."

Closing his eyes, Billy slowly lifted his head and he took in a deep shuddering breath, his tears slowly ending as he looked at McMurphy with those miserable blue eyes of his.

"Billy, are you sure that you didn't see a light?"

"I…I'm sure." Billy nodded sadly. "Mama is…She's guh-going to be so…so mad at me…"

Sighing softly, McMurphy let go of Billy as he stood up, placing his hands on his hips as he looked down at the young man.

"Well I can't speak for your mama, but I know that I'm mad at you!" he said.

Billy winced at this and he looked up at McMurphy with hurt eyes.

"What?" he whispered softly, and McMurphy nodded a bit as he looked down at him with cold eyes.

"You heard me! I'm fucking pissed at you, Billy Bibbit!" he snapped at him.

Billy's eyes grew wide and he slowly shook his head as he let go of his knees, resting the palms of his trembling hands on the floor.

"But…Why?" he whimpered, a sudden bubble of blood popping from his wound.

"Because you're sitting there crying over something that's not your fault!" McMurphy snapped. "Billy, not everything that goes wrong is your fault! And not everything that you do is bad either! You cashed in your cherry! There's nothing wrong with that!"

"Ra…Ratched said…"

"Fuck that stupid bitch!"

Billy flinched and looked around quickly to make sure that no one had heard that, ignoring the fact that they were currently dead and free of such worries now.

Rolling his eyes, McMurphy leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees.

"Billy…" he said gently now, a small smile coming back to him. "You don't deserve to be punished for being human."

"I…I do! I…"

"You what?"

Billy opened his mouth to say something, but as he looked into McMurphy's smiling eyes, he slowly shut his mouth as he looked down at the ground.

"I don't know…"

Snorting softly, McMurphy held out a hand and Billy stared at it.

"Come on, you're coming with me, kiddo!"

"But I killed myself!" Billy pointed out.


"People who kuh-kill themselves aren't allowed…"



"If anyone tries to block your way into Heaven, I'll break their fucking teeth." He promised and he found himself smiling wider when he saw the hope come to the young man's eyes.


"Of course! I'll be your escort!"

"Will you?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Billy wrung his hands nervously, and he stared at the scars that still rested on his wrists from when he had tried and failed to kill himself a few years earlier.

He looked up at McMurphy and when he saw the older man still smiling at him with one hand held out, he smiled and nodded as he reached out and took it.

He was surprised at how warm his hand felt and when he stood up and lightly touched his neck, he found that his self inflicted wound had healed and he was no longer covered in his own blood.

Blinking, Billy looked down at his wrists and those scars were also gone.

"See? All you needed was a good swift kick to the ass to get you moving!" McMurphy laughed as he wrapped one strong arm around his shoulders and the doorway of light appeared in front of the two of them.

Billy stared through the doorway in childlike wonder, his face a mixture of fear and hope, and McMurphy was reminded of when he had promised Billy that he would enjoy being with Candy.

He had worn the same expression on his face then too.

"Ohhh boy…" Billy whispered softly and McMurphy threw his head back and laughed as they stepped through together.

There was no need to break anyone's teeth after all.