Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Simple as that.
Summary: It takes place during their senior year in highschool. Ash and Spence split up..if you want to know why well take a peek. :p
Feedback: This is my first fic. So please send me some "cookies"(feedback) No matter what I will continue the story.
A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this fic. And if I make any mistakes do let me know :) And please review and let me know what's going on in your head about it.
Chapter 1: Weak
She just walked out on me...I stood there stunned. I couldn't move my legs. I mean...She just turned her back on me and walked out my door. Out my life. After 20 minutes of standing there in the middle of my bedroom my legs gave out and I fell to the floor, crying hysterically. It was my fault she walked out. I screwed up. I wish I knew what I wanted. He was always there for me and then she comes along and turn my life in different directions. But everytime I walked hand in hand with her during school I can see HIS eyes on me, calling me. I tried to ignore it. I wish I had.
I just couldn't stand there anymore listening to her "excuses". I turned my back and I walked out of her bedroom, out her life. I closed the door to her house behind me and I cried so hard that my head felt like it was going to explode. I loved her..I still do. But she just hurt me. God, why is this happening to me? Why? She promised me she wouldn't hurt me..And she did. I pulled my phone out and texted Glen to come pick me up at Ashley's. I stood there against the door waiting if she would come out and call out my name. But she didn't. 15 minutes later Glen shows up and I walk slowly to his car just pacing myself. Just maybe..maybe she'll open the door and yell my name. But again she never did. I got in the car and Glen didn't say a word. He just held my hand and squeezed tightly as we drove home.
"Is everything okay?" I asked her. She seemed too far gone at the moment and it worried me everytime she does that.
"Yeah..I was just thinking.." She trailed off. And I knew there was something wrong. When she trails off like that it freaks me out. We pulled up to her house or mansion, whatever. And we sat in her car and she just looked out the window, dazed.
"Ash...What is going on? You're way too quiet and it's scarying me." She just looked at me with her sad brown eyes and I gently grabbed her hand and she just inhaled.
"Come on..Let's go in and talk about it. Ok?" She gets out the car before I can respond. So I just follow her lead. We get inside her house and we head directly upstairs.
End of Flashback
I didn't want to go to school today but I had a test to take and it was the last test of the senior year. So it was essential, unfortunately. I pulled up in the parking lot and I walked slowly to first period. I was hesistant to walk past Spencer's locker but I did anyways and I didn't see her. Good. I mean, I'm just scared to face her after what I've done. But eventually I'd have to face her. I got to my first period class and I sat in the back row and then there was Madison. Ugh. She so better not mess with me right now. I am not in the mood for one of her little stupid rants. I took out my locket out my pocket. It was a picture of Spence and I kissing. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
"Aw come on Ash lets take a photo. Pwease?" She gave me those little pouts she always do to get her way. I tried to ignore it but I just couldn't. So I gave in.
"Alright alright. Fine. Let's go" She giggled and grabbed my hand and dragged me to the picture booth. We sat in the booth and she put the money in.
"Ok..you're gonna have to look at the camera..and smile" She sarcastically said to me and I just groaned.
"Duh..." We sat close and the cameras flashed and we smiled.
End of Flashback
I wish we could go back to that moment and I could fix the mistake I made later on. As I stared at the locket Madison knocked me out of my thoughts.
"Aww the fruitcakes split up. How sad!" Madison laughs. I look up and see Spencer sit on the other side of the classroom and briefly made eye contact with me before she sat down. I felt my heart drop in the pit of my stomach.
"It seems the queer eye's aren't speaking to one another anymore. What a shame." Madison really does annoy me. So I know I should have just left it alone but I was too pissed off and angry right now.
"How about you sit your wide ass down and shut the hell up for once!" I yelled. Wow. I didn't realize how loud I was. The students looked at me curiously before they began to laugh at Madison. She whispered something spanish under her breath and sat down in her seat. I was tired of her. But she's not what I'm worried about right now. I stare at Spencer the whole class. Hoping she'd look back at me.
As Glen parked the car we all got out and headed our separate ways. Today I had to stay after school..Actually everyday I'd have to stay after school and wait for Glen to get a ride home after his basketball practice. I didn't want to wait. So I walked so slowly and barely made it to class on time. I walked in and I seen Ashely looking at her locket. The one I gave her. I'd hope she'd never look up and catch my eyes on her. But that latina bitch had to say something. Fucking hate her guts. Ashley briefly made eye contact with me and I felt angry but happy at the same time. How is that possible? I tried to tune Madison out but she was bugging me. And I can tell Ashely was getting very angry with her. Why should I care if she gets angry? She was the one who broke my heart. But I did anyways. For the rest of the day I felt her eyes on me. And I desperately wanted to look back her but I didn't. I had to stand my ground. I wasn't going to give in. And I'm not. Class ended and I hurried out the door and practically ran to my next class. I know she wanted to talk but I just couldnt right now.
The next few classes went by fairly quick. Then lunch period came. I stalked out into the quad and I see Kyla sitting with a few of her acting buddies. I walked over to her and sat down.
"Hey Spencer. How are you?" Kyla asked. I don't think she knows what's going on. So I play it off.
"It's going good. So..How are you?" I began to open up my bottle of water. Kyla stared at me and then gave me a gentle smile. I think she wanted to say something. God, I hope she doesn't know.
"Yeah..I'm good. So um..not that I don't mind that you're here. But aren't you always with Ashley?" Great she had to ask. Sighs. What do I say? Do I lie? Or just tell her it's over between Ash and I. I fiddle with my fingers and she grabs my hand and makes eye contact with me. Yep. She knows.
"I guess you already know, huh?" She only nods and waits for me to continue. "She..her..and...him. I couldn't deal with it. She just broke me." Kyla listened and pulled me into a tight hug. I held my tears back. I looked up and there was Aidan following quickly behind Ashley. Trying to get her attention. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and waited for the tears to stop. I opened my eyes I can see Ashley and Aidan talking. She seemed annoyed.
I had to find Spencer. I had to talk to her and explain. But I already had..But I don't think I made it clear to her. I head for the quad and I see her and Kyla hugging. At least she found comfort in someone. But who would of thought it'd be by my half-sister. As I began to make my way over to her I hear Aidan call my name. God can't he take a hint? I tried to ignore him but he put his hand on my shoulder and I turned around to him giving him a death glare.
"What do you want, Aidan?" He seemed taken aback by the way I said that. Oh well. I'm not in the mood.
"I thought we were going to talk about what happened between us.."
"I told you before. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. Just leave it alone. Leave me alone." As I began to walk off he grabs me by hand and pulls me to him. I connect eyes with him and he lightly touch my face. I stare into his green eyes and that's when I come to realization that I really don't love him anymore. But before I could pull away Spencer walks over to us. She looks like she's gonna blow a fuse.
"Ashley you're such a bitch!" She says so loud. Everyone stops and stares. Dammit. I have to tell her it's not what it looks like.
"Spence I..." She cuts me off.
"No! You two had to rub it in my face, huh? Well fuck you both. I hope you both have a happy life together." She begins to walk away and I run after her towards the lockers.
"Spence..Please. It's not what it looks like. I don't want Aidan. I want and need you!" I practically yell to her. I began to cry. Why couldn't I realize that I didn't love him like that before I screwed things up.
"What it looks like? Ha! I don't even care anymore. You can fuck whoever you please." She says through gritted teeth. Her eyes are dark and angry and it scares the shit out of me. But I don't back off.
"I love you Spence. I love you more than anyone. Please.." I practically beg. She spits down towards my shoe and she turns to Aidan.
"You got what you want. I hope you both have a screwed up life together." She spits out. Aidan gets closer to her.
"Spencer you knew she couldn't stay away from me. I am the first person she ever loved. You don't and will never compete against that." He smiled at her. I really hated him right now. Before I could say anything Spencer pulls her fist back and hits Aidan across the face sending him back a few steps. I was shocked. I wanted to go near her but I was hesistant.
"Don't come near me or speak to me ever again. I don't want to know you anymore" She said. Her eyes began to tear up and she bolts off. Leaving me standing there wanting to break down. But I held myself up and walked to my car. She wasn't the Spencer I knew. She was different. Broken and lost and I did that to her. She doesn't want to know me anymore. I need her. She's a part of me. Oh God..why? Why? Why?!
Aidan walks up to me and he looks at me with sad eyes. Oh no he better back off.
"Ash..I'm sor-" I cut him off. I'm tired of him so fucking tired of him
"No Aidan I'm sorry for ever laying eyes on you. Goodbye." His face expression looked as if someone had painted that expression on him. He didn't even move his eyes. He was still, stunned. I got into my car and I drove to an empty house. My empty house.
After hitting Aidan I realized that I still love her that much. She looked at me as if she didn't know me anymore and my soul cried out for her. But I couldn't let her see. I just couldn't. I turned around and walked away. I silently cried to myself the rest of the school day.
Once we got home I couldn't even stand to see anyone. I just went to my room and closed the door. I threw myself on my bed and cried into my pillow. Hard. My heart and soul cried along with me. I hate her but I love her more. God, what is wrong with me?! I should be hating her more but it's no use in trying. This is it. The end. No more Ashely. I grabbed my locket that's identical to the one I gave Ashley and I placed it under my pillow and I fell asleep.