A/N: Here's some happy smut for all you StanxKyle lovers. :) I usually don't write out alot of slashy smutty goodness, so please review and tell me if it's good or a pile of dog poo.


The Best Dream Ever

"Hmm mmm hmm… hmm hm hmmm…"

Stan turned up the volume on his iPod and rolled onto his stomach. He continued humming as he re-adjusted his pillow and got into a comfortable position on his bed. It was a warm day in May, but Stan felt lazy and decided to loaf around that afternoon.

After a few songs, he took notice that his phone was vibrating across the carpeted floor in his dark room.

'Who the hell's that?... probably Kenny or Kyle...' Stan shrugged it off and closed his eyes.


"Oh, damnit Stan!" Kyle said as he put his cell phone back into his pocket and continued to quickly walk to his best friend's house. His shoulder length semi-straightened red hair bounced freely due to the fact he wasn't wearing his usual thick green hat. It was too warm out for that. Kyle's mom wanted him to watch over Ike's birthday party alone while she went to visit her hospitalized cousin in Denver.

'Why the hell does she have to visit her stupid cousin today?' Kyle thought as he turned the last corner to Stan's house. 'There's no way I'm being left alone with six hyper grade school kids and no witnesses.'

Kyle finally reached Stan's house and walked up to the front door, noticing that his parents' vehicles weren't parked in the front.

'Aw man… they better not all be gone,' Kyle thought as he knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again and looked through the living room window, to no avail.

"Son of a bitch!" Kyle said angrily as he made his way around to the side of the house. Maybe there was a slight chance Stan was in his room.

Kyle eyed up the tree next to Stan's window and began climbing it with ease. Partway up, a squirrel gave a surprised squeak at the teenager invading its home.

"Shoo!" Kyle said at the squirrel, who hastily obeyed him. When he got to a branch near the window he looked down at the ground, swallowed, and slowly crawled closer. He peered inside, trying to steady the swaying branch. The only light he could see was on his friend's cell phone, signaling he'd missed a call. Kyle squinted and tried to decide if he could see Stan on his bed or not.


Inside the room, Stan opened his eyes as the song switched from a calm song to a fast paced one. He paused his iPod and stretched, gazing first at his unanswered phone and then to his window. He jumped in surprise when he noticed his best friend, dangling from a branch and staring into his room. Kyle proceeded to laugh from outside the window, obviously meaning he'd noticed Stan.

"Jesus..." Stan rolled his eyes and got up from his bed. He walked over and kicked his phone to the side and opened his window, staring at his friend hanging from the tree.

They both blinked.

"What the hell are you doing?" Stan asked casually.

"You gotta let me in! My mom want's me to watch my stupid brother's party while she abandons me and goes to Denver!" Kyle said, flinching as he heard the branch crack.

"Okay okay, hurry up before you break the tree," Stan said, helping his strange friend through the window.

"Why's your mom going to Denver?" Stan asked once both teens were safely inside the bedroom.

"Because she want's to visit her cousin in the hospital…" Kyle said, looking around Stan's dark room. "What the hell are you doing in here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I was just listening to music," Stan said lamely. He wandered back over to his bed and sprawled out on it, tossing off his blue cap in the process. He ran a hand through his sleek black hair and clicked his iPod off pause.

"Oh," Kyle said. He looked at Stan's cell phone and picked it up while he made his way over to the bed. He sat down, flipping the phone open and fiddling with it.

"What are you doing?" Stan asked, lifting his head.

"Playing Tetris," Kyle said.

"Oh, brother!" Stan said. He lifted a foot and kicked the phone gingerly out of the Jews hands, gaining an unimpressed look from him. "You've already beaten my record on there like, fifty times."

"Well what do you want to do, then?" Kyle asked.

"Listen to music! Lie down," Stan ordered, moving over to the edge of the bed.

Kyle hesitated, but flopped down next to Stan. The raven-haired teen stuck an ear bud in his friends ear and closed his eyes.

Kyle stared at the ceiling, letting the melody and comfortable bedding distract him from his problems. He yawned and let his mind wander.

After a few songs, the red-head turned to his side groggily and stared at the teen lying next to him. He felt a faint blush come to his face for no apparent reason as he took note of Stan's deep, slow breaths. 'He must be asleep…'

With a stretch of his legs, Kyle too closed his eyes and let sleep overcome him.


Kyle groaned and felt his consciousness return to him. He took note that the music had stopped as he opened his eyes partway and saw two discarded ear buds between himself and Stan. He breathed deeply and looked beyond his sleeping friend, trying to find out what time it was. His eyes snapped open when he tried to move, looking down at his pants.

Stan had rolled towards Kyle in his sleep, and had a hold of Kyle's waistband. Kyle blinked and swallowed hard as he shifted awkwardly. He felt his face redden as Stan squirmed in his sleep and slid his fingers deeper into the front of Kyle's pants, then relaxing once again.

The sensation of Stan's fingers triggered a chain reaction in Kyle. 'Oh God, oh man…' Kyle thought quickly. Nothing good could come from this situation. His breath quickened as he felt his pants grow tighter. He kept both eyes unwaveringly on Stan's face as he gently grabbed the slumbering boy's dainty wrist. He felt his face grow warmer as his manhood grew curiously towards the intruding fingers. He tried to pull Stan's hand out, but Stan just gripped tighter and squirmed again.

When Stan let out a semi-conscious moan, Kyle quickly let go of his wrist and lay limp. He felt a bead of sweat roll down his neck as Stan's breathing returned to normal and he cracked his eyes open.

'Oh, sweet mother of crap… Pleeease make him not notice!' Kyle thought desperately. He opened his left eye very slightly to see what his best friend's reaction was.

Stan yawned and began to stretch, but came to an abrupt stop and opened his eyes wide. His mouth gaped slightly and he felt his face turn crimson when he moved his fingers.

'Oh, my, God. Is that… Kyle's… wang…?' Stan thought with growing panic. He blinked and tried to read Kyle's face, while his own burned with embarrassment. He seemed to have a relaxed expression, and his mouth was parted lazily. 'Oh thank God, he's asleep.' Stan thought with some form of relief.

Stan swallowed and brought his attention back to his right hand. An insane thought raced through his mind and his insides churned. 'Oh, jeez…I'm so sick… this is so not good…'

He inhaled and slid his hand deeper into Kyle's pants. He started to stroke his erection slowly, feeling Kyle's body tense up next to him.

Kyle couldn't bear to watch anymore and he closed his left eye. He felt his body flood with arousal while his friend explored his privates. 'Oh, God Stan... What are you doing to me??' he thought with panic, but secretly hoped his friend's curiosity would continue.

Stan licked his lips and studied his friends twisted face as he removed his hand. After a moment he started fiddling with Kyle's buttoned jeans. 'What the hell am I doing?!' he though, as he undid Kyle's fly and reached into his boxers once again. As if hypnotized, Stan continued to fondle Kyle's growing boner and squeezed it gently.

"Nnnh…" Kyle breathed. He pushed his hips towards Stan's grip impulsively and twitched his eyelids. Stan got surprisingly turned on as he watched his friend's instinctive reactions.

'Don't wake up, don't wake up…' Stan thought. He would never live it down if Kyle woke up and saw what he was doing to him. He slid Kyle's boxers partly down his hips so Stan could see firsthand his dirty work.

Stan widened his eyes at the sight of his exposed friend, squirming at Stan's actions. Kyle was biting his lip and had his eyes squeezed shut.

'Oh, Goddamn...' Stan thought as he hungrilly stared at Kyle.

With that, Stan spontaneously began pumping Kyle's erection, slowly at first and then quickly increasing speed.

"Nn- nnnh…" Kyle moaned, arching his back and grabbing lightly onto the bedspread. He rolled his eyes back behind his closed lids and let the guilty pleasure flood through his whole body. 'Oh, God Stan… don't stop…'

Stan persisted, gently adding more pressure to his pumping. The sight of Kyle's naked privates and the teens gentle bucking towards Stan's hand was so unbelievably hot to the raven-haired boy, who had always thought he was straight as a toothpick until now.

After another moment of Stan working away on his fake-sleeping friend, Kyle's whole body tensed up and he shuddered as he came, pulling on Stan's sheets. Kyle was biting his lip hard to try and seem as unobvious as possible, but couldn't help but to moan as he climaxed.

As soon as he finished, Kyle let out a long, satisfied breath. Curling slightly into an embarrased ball as he became totally aware that his penis was hanging out, he slowed his breathing down once again and he became very still, trying to seem asleep even after all that. 'Fuck, Stan... wow...'

Stan swallowed hard at the sight of his friend, convincing himself he really was asleep the whole time and felt his panic lessen slightly. "Oh, Jesus…" Stan said quietly. His own breath was still quick, and his heart was pounding. 'Dude…'

He looked at the sticky fruits of his labor in his hand. Just then, he heard a door close and movement downstairs.

"Stanley might still be in his room, Shelia. I'll go ask him if he knows where Kyle is," came the muffled voice of Mrs. Marsh.

"Oh, fuck!" Stan said, slapping his other hand to his mouth as Kyle stirred. Stan jumped up, spun in a confused circle in the middle of his room and wiped his hand on the back of his curtain. He ran back to his bed and quickly but gingerly buttoned up Kyle's pants.

'Not a fucking moment too soon,' thought Stan as he re-positioned himself on the bed next to the friend he just jacked off.

Kyle stretched out his legs and slowly opened his eyes. "Mm… Stan?" he asked softly.

"Shh Kyle! Close your eyes!" Stan hissed.

The Jew obeyed his friend just as Stan's door opened.

"Sta- oh, Stanley?" Mrs. Marsh said quietly. "Are you awake?"

Stan and Kyle lay still on the bed, but both their minds were metaphorically exploding.

"Well, Sharon? Does he- oh, Abraham!" Mrs. Broflovski said, peeking into Stan's room. "What is he doing here, for crying out loud!"

"Oh, Sheila. They're just tired. I'll go make a pot of coffee and we can chat until they wake up," Mrs. Marsh said, walking down the stairs.

Mrs. Broflovski followed. "But that babysitter I got to watch Ikey's party is expensive! That little sneak is gonna pay for her time with his own allowance!" she said, her voice growing farther and father away as the two mothers traveled downstairs.

Stan lifted his head, making sure their mom's were gone for sure, and rolled over. "Thank God, they're gone," he sighed. He closed his eyes and let his mind make sense of what just happened in the last several minutes.

"Yeah…" Kyle sighed, and propped himself up on his elbow. "I wish they didn't have to come up here though… that was the best nap I've ever had," he said innocently.

Stan couldn't help but smile, and looked away. "Uh… really?" he looked at his best friend awkwardly. "Have any dreams?"

Kyle smiled widely and fell onto his back. "Yeah, it was the best dream ever," he said.

"Well, what was it about?" Stan asked, wondering why the hell he asked.

Kyle put his arms behind his head. "God, I couldn't tell you. It's too embarrassing," he said. He looked at Stan. "But it was fucking awesome."

A/N: Hee. X3 Well, thar you go guys. Sorry if it isn't that well done, I pretty much just typed it out while the neighbors kids screamed next door... D: Hopefully you liked it, though! n.n

Pleeease review and make me smile. :D