-1Christmas in Hollywood : Charlie Scene Part One
I stumbled out of the recording studio, smashed out of my skull. I could hardly see straight, which didn't help, since the alleyway I stumbled into was dark. Standing in the dark for a second, trying to steady myself, I thought I heard someone behind me.
"Hey, mother fucker! You'd better not be following me or I'll hiccup beat your ass!" I slurred, narrowing my eyes in order to see through the darkness.
I did a full 360 and decided that it wasn't exactly the best idea seeing as how I fell flat on my ass. I heard some drunk chuckles behind me, and reached out in the direction of the laughing. I grabbed an ankle and pulled, feeling someone's body falling on top of me.
"Oof! Charlie! Whatthefuckmann??" I heard Tha Producer's voice slur.
I elbowed him in the stomach and heard his breath come out in a loud whoosh. I laughed and shoved him off of me. I shook my spinning head and took a few breaths, trying to steady myself. I bent down and tried to help him up. I shoved him in a random direction, not being able to see around his fat ass.
As if reading my mind, Tha Producer whined, "Heyy…I'm not faaaat! Okay, maybe just a little."
I laughed hysterically and continued shoving him. A few eerie moments later, I saw what seemed to be the end of the alley and I felt a sigh of relief leave my body. I looked around to make sure that no one else heard that. Tha Producer had fallen asleep and was sleep-being-shoved. I laughed at the name I had come up with and Tha Producer woke with a start, looking wild-eyed around the alley.
"Heeey! We're almost there!" he squealed.
I rolled my eyes and kept shoving him.
"Heeeey. You're being real quiet-like…what's wrong? Afraid of the scary alley?" he asked me, laughing a little.
"No man, shut the fuck up, I'm not scared of the alley…" I said, muttering under my breath, "it's what's in the alley that scares me…"
I kept shoving him until he tumbled over. Thinking that his clumsy-ass had tripped on a rock, I pushed him off of me for the second time tonight. As soon as I got Tha Producer off of me, he let out a blood-curdling scream and ran in the opposite direction, screaming, "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE MOLERATS FROM HELL HERE TO TAKE MY BEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
I looked up into a pair of gray eyes, becoming transfixed at watching them. They seemed to swallow up my soul. It was kinda creepy since I was drunk.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I heard a quiet voice ring through my ears.
I saw a hand wave in front of my face and I snapped out of my drunken staring. The hand was held out to me, and I took it, laughing nervously. I studied the girl's features, her black hair, big eyes, pale skin sprinkled with freckles, her dimples and, last of all, her curvy figure. Which was shocking since that was usually the first thing I noticed.
She hoisted me off my ass and I grinned, "I'm Charlieahem…Scene."
She replied, "I'm Tracy. Tracy Dawn."
She scrunched up her nose in a cute way, saying, "That's an odd name. Is it some kind of Hollywood name?"
I heard Tha Producer laughing hysterically behind me and I chuckled and replied, "Uh…yeah…I'm in a band called 'Hollywood Undead'…I write the lyrics."
She looked at me scrutinizingly and said, "Oh, that band that did that song, Number 5?"
I nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm Charlie Scene….and this is Tha Producer."
"Damn…"I heard her mutter, "Is he gonna be okay?"
I looked at Tha Producer, who was running around, flapping his arms like he thought he was a butterfly. He flapped for a few minutes until he ran into a dumpster. Then, the drunk asshole climbed onto the dumpster.
"Hold on for a moment!" I said, running over to drag his ass off the dumpster.
He turned around and gave me a hug, "I luuuub you!"
I sighed, " I lub you too, man."
He jumped off the dumpster and landed on his ass with a loud smack and I heard, "FUCK!"
I looked down and he had tears in his eyes and I rolled my eyes. I sighed and helped him up, knowing that he broke his assbone…again. Trust me, it wasn't the first time he'd broken something in his ass. I looked at the girl and she had a concerned look in her eye.
"Well, I gotta take this dumbass to the hospital. Nice meeting ya!" I said, helping him to my car.
"Wait, here's my number. Call me sometime…you know, to hang out and shit." She handed me a piece of paper with a phone number on it.
I stopped and took her right hand, pulling out a pen, writing my cell number on it.
"Thanks. I'll call you. See ya!" I said, prying my passenger's seat door open and setting Tha Producer down on it.
He winced and I just gave him a "not-my-fault-you-broke-your-ass" look. He looked up at me like a child with a scraped knee and I sighed. I closed the door, walking over to the driver's door. I managed to get my shitbox open and I sat down, finding my keys in my pocket. I stuck the key in the ignition, thinking to myself heh heh….bweeheehee!! Then, I realized I was sobering up.
"Damn…that sucks." I looked at Tha Producer, who was asleep in my seat, with a wince hovering on his face.
I drove to the hospital, shaking my head and laughing about what a weird night it has set out to be. We pulled into the parking lot and our usual spot was open, so I took it. I turned the car off and sighed again. I looked at T.P. and laughed. He was staring wide-eyed at the hospital. He sighed and opened the door, limping off to the front doors.
I opened the doors and hurried after him, calling after, "Hey wait!"
I met up with him, and he looked like he wanted to die. I threw his arm around me and helped him into the hospital. We got in the waiting room and I recognized Gloria, who was working behind the front desk.
She saw us and sighed, "What happened this time, Mr. Scene?"
I looked at her and T.P. screamed, "MY ASS!!! MY ASS!!! I THINK I BROKE MY ASS!!!"
She pointed over to our usual spot and I sat T.P. down, walking up to the counter and taking the familiar clipboard.
Making small talk with Gloria, I commented, "Did you get new clipboards? I don't remember them being purple the last time we were here."
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, we did. We just got them in yesterday. Aren't they nice?" she gushed.
I looked at her and nodded, finishing up the necessary forms in record time. I was proud of myself since I had beaten my old record. I handed it to Gloria, shaking my head.
"Hey, new record!" she said, making me chuckle.
I walked back over to T.P. and saw him making out with someone there in the waiting room. I rolled my eyes and sat next to him, staring at the wall. Time seemed to fly by, since the doctor came out and called us in.