Hey guys. This is pretty crappy but it's 12:00AM and I'm super tired. I just read a Jacob/Bella fanfic so I was just inspired. I'll probably regret this in the morning. No flames for this one though cuz I know it's pretty sucky but I just wanted to get this out. Thx.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...well not now
The rain felt good on my unusually hot skin, giving me some form of release from the world. She once told me she hated the rain and the cold and wet. I sighed angrily. It's not fair. That filthy bloodsucker left her for months, leaving her to die out in the forest yet when it came down to it she still chose him over me.
I had helped mend her – not completely but more than anyone else could. I helped her through the rough times and I protected her. How could she just cast me away like that? As soon as the bloodsucker comes back, she runs back into his arms even he though he left her and just leaves me in the dust. I hate her for it…no, that's not true. I could never hate her. Hating an angel just wasn't right, it just something I'm not capable of.
I love her. From the moment I set my eyes on her that day at the beach, I could tell there was something special about her. I had a crush on her from the first day that we met but when I actually got to know her I was just blown away. I loved everything about her - I still do – and whenever I thought of her or when she was near, I felt like I was floating on air, so excited, so happy. I knew that I was in love. Why else would I be happiest with her? I wanted her to be mine, even if she was broken I didn't care. I would wait for her for as long as it takes.
She never became mine though. She always belonged to someone else. Bella. Her name sent a shiver through me like nothing else could. The name of an angel, the most beautiful creation God has ever made.
She doesn't love me though; no, she loves him. I snarled at the thought. He doesn't deserve her, not like me.
I find this life has no point anymore. I'm a monster; a menace to society and my only love loves someone else. Why not just end the pain now? I was in the ocean now with the water up to my chest, the waves crashing against me. A few more steps forward and my head would be engulfed by the waves. I could just drown in the ocean and let the water take my body wherever it sees fit.
I feel something in my pocket as I try to move forward into the waves; I dig my hand into my pocket to pull the object out. It was the bow from the motorcycle, my birthday present. I laugh bitterly. It was from when I was happy. When everything was right. When Bella was with me. My steps into the water quicken wanting to get this over with. Don't do this. Wow, voices in my head are talking to me. Don't do this. Think about Billy and The Pack. I knew this was going to hurt them but what difference does it make? I'm hurting them right now, I can tell. My depression is causing everyone pain, they'll get over me quicker if I die; If I'm not there to remind to feel sorry for me every day. What about Bella? The thought of you dying because of her would kill her. That struck a pang in my heart. I don't want to cause Bella any pain but I'm doing this for her.
Bella doesn't want this for you; she wants you to live. Don't do this to her.
I started to head back on land. I couldn't do that to Bella. I can't hurt her anymore. I'll live for her.
"I'm doing this for you Bella. I'm going to live for you."
Review please. If you hate it, still review. Just don't go one about how stupid it was or something 'kay? Just say ' This isn't your best work' or something. I dn't need to know how much you think this sucks. If you like it then yay! I personally think I can do better but I'm tired. I'll probably come back and rewrite it. R&R