Prompt: 6 cigarettes in an ashtray
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or Final fantasy.
Warning: Yaoi, and angst. Really angsty
A/N: I almost cried at the end of this…almost. Anyways, hope you like it, and hope you get the symbolism of the 6 cigs in the tray.
"Axel….wha-" My breath hitched as Axel started to kiss my neck. His hot body pressed against mine and I reveled in the feeling of skin against skin. Hot water flowed down our bodies, mixing with the sweat already dripping from our pores. Weakly I tried to push him away, but my movements lacked any will, and he pushed my hands away as easily as he'd shoo a fly.
Once again, I tried to stop him verbally, but his mouth became entangled with mine. I took a step backwards, but showers don't provide much room to move in, especially with two people in the tub, and I felt my back press against the cool tile wall. He pressed against me more, and parts of my anatomy loved it, hell I loved it, but something in my brain was telling me this was wrong, and urged me to push him away.
That little voice won out, and I pushed Axel back enough to break his control over my mouth. He tried to push back, but I put my hand on his mouth and looked him in the eyes.
His eyes locked with mine a moment, then looked away. He reached up and took my hand in his, then gently pulled it away from his mouth. He brought his face close to mine, then laid his head on my shoulder. "Sorry Leon, I…I didn't mean to attack you."
Parts of me were still excited by Axel's proximity to my own body, but I couldn't bring myself to force him away. Instead, I closed my eyes and breathed deep. "Don't you think this is moving a little too fast? I mean, you were never interested in me before you came to stay with me. Besides, I thought you were going out with Sora's brother, Roxas."
He was silent a moment, then he pulled his head up and looked me in the eyes. It was a beautiful sight, with the water running down his face, slicking his long crimson hair to his neck and shoulders, and the glow the water and fluorescent bathroom lights seemed to give his skin. He almost took my breath away. Almost.
"Roxas dumped me…," he whispered. I could barely hear his words above the pounding of the water. "I'm so sorry Leon….really…I am. I…don't know what's wrong with me." Tears mixed with the running water as he leaned forward again, resting his head on my shoulder once more.
Hesitantly I wrapped my arms around his slim figure, pulling him close again. He nuzzled into my neck slightly and stayed in that position, just leaning against me, as if letting go would mean falling. 'And perhaps it would…' I thought. Axel seemed more than just stressed; he seemed lost, confused, and hurt. I'd never seen him so miserable in my life. I wanted to be angry at him, to kick him out and yell at him, but something inside me couldn't force myself to do it.
After a few minutes of just leaning there, his body pressed to mine, the warm water running down our naked forms, I felt him move, then heard his voice start softly, "I couldn't reach him, on Monday….he…" Axel took a shaky breath. "He…left a message on the phone telling me it was over, and that he wanted me to move out…."
Axel took a moment to swallow and clutch me a little tighter. Part of me was saddened by his problem, and part of me was appalled by it. I was never one to be caught up in drama. Axel on the other hand…I suppose he'd never been hurt like that before.
"I came to you for help, and you helped me, even though I haven't even really talked to you for months. Something about that…something about that selflessness attracted me to you. I know I must be sickening...and hard to put up with …but…" Slowly he raised his head until he was eye-level with me. Those jade green eyes had a fire in them, something that made me believe I was looking into his soul. Those eyes searched my face a moment, as if desperately trying to find something there. "I know how stupid this must sound but…" he cut off his own sentence as he leaned in, watching my eyes the whole time, hoping, praying that I'd respond favorably.
I did. Oh God. I don't know why I did. But I did. When his lips were only a hair's width away, I leaned forward to meet him. It might have been the desperation in his voice, or that fire in his eyes, or the pure honesty in his actions, but something in the back of my mind urged me to go ahead and let him in, to take a risk, and to love again.
So we shared a kiss in the shower, and I turned off the water, and lead him out of the bathroom, where we dried of and dressed before heading to the living room. It seemed almost surreal, everything that had happened. Thinking back, I couldn't even remember when or how Axel had gotten into my shower, just that he had appeared there, and was on me. But now…I looked down at the 19-year-old boy whose head rested in my lap, my fingers sifting through his hair almost lovingly. He was nearly asleep, tears marring the perfect flow of his face.
Why had he come on to me…of all people? I had a reputation for being moody, sarcastic, and grouchy. Yet Axel, the rambunctious hyperactive teenager known for his crazy schemes and ability to rush into things without thinking, came to me for help. Was there something in that, some secret message from God or whatever the hell deity lives in the sky?
Axel moved slightly in my lap, rolling into a more comfortable position. To tell the truth my leg was begin into go numb, but I couldn't bring myself to make him move, he looked so peaceful, completely opposite of how he had been earlier in the shower.
Gently I ran a finger over his cheeks, wiping away the stains his tears had left. I felt sorry for him, partially because of what had happened, and partially for his reaction. Axel had never seemed like the type to take rejection so hard, yet here he was, with me, simply to ease the hurt of that very thing. He put on a good bravado, but beneath all that lion, there was a kitten afraid of being left alone in the dark.
He stirred again as I ran my fingers through his hair again. One of his emerald eyes opened and looked up at mine before closing slowly again. "That feels good…" he purred, turning his head to the side so I could continue.
"You really are a kitten." I chuckled. I leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek, smiling when he pushed back to cuddle closer to me.
"Why a kitten?" he asked. His sat up slightly so he could turn and face me, he looked kind of cute, all curled up in my lap like that, his hair pulled back in a ponytail instead of those wild spikes.
"Because you look like one…" I ran a hand back through his hair again. That was becoming addicting, his hair. It was soft, fluffy, and gentle to the touch, unlike mine, which was dry and wiry. It was a nice change.
Axel chuckled. "Do you have an obsession with my hair?" When I started to stop, he shook his head and grabbed my hand, putting it back on his head. "No…keep going. I like it."
"I wouldn't think you'd like people touching your hair…You seem so…obsessed with it, like Cloud is."
"So I like hair…that's not a crime." Axel leaned up slightly, resting his weight on one arm. "Leon…do…you want to continue what we started in the shower?"
I thought about that a moment. I wanted to, hell I really wanted to, but I was unsure about it. After all, though Axel gave me such a sob story, I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe it was an act, and that I would wake up to find Axel gone tomorrow. But then again…would that really be so bad?
"Yeah…" I murmured, intertwining my fingers with his. "Come on, let's go to bed."
I awoke in the morning feeling slightly groggy and more than a little dazed. Lazily I sat up in bed, leaning flat out against the headboard as I pulled a cigarette out of the bedside table's drawer. Just as I was starting to light up, I looked down at the spot beside me. It was empty, and cold. Axel had gotten up and left long ago.
Slowly I lit the lighter, watching the flame as it ate away at the edge of my cigarette, then snapping it closed once it caught. Sighing, I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes and remembering everything that had happened last night. After holding the smoke in a minute, I breathed out slowly, watching the tendrils of smoke rise to the ceiling.
I couldn't blame him for leaving. He wasn't the first, nor would he be the last. You see, unlike Axel, I could take the rejection, because loneliness had built up in my blood for so long I'd grown immune to it. Like a person becomes immune to a poison after so many doses. Guess it had been that way with love for a long time too.
Taking what was left of the cigarette; I smashed it into the ashtray on the table, right next to the other six, then leaned back and closed my eyes. It was still a while until I had to get up for work, and I enjoyed sitting in the silent, pre-dawn solitude.
Hate me yet? I make Axel look like the victim, then….well, you get the idea. Do you understand the symbolism in the cigs? I hope so, otherwise I feel stupid for even putting it in there, but oh well! Hope you like it, been a while since I've done a true one-shot. Though I think most of you probably hate me for that ending. (dodges books rocks and other heavy objects)
Oh, and do you like the pretty separator…line break…things? I was bored.