Fandom: CSI: NY
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Rating: T
Category: Angst, Drama, Romance
Summary: Finally Danny and Lindsay are having everything they ever wished for. Now they've been married for over a year and for 6 months they are proud parents of a beautiful little daughter. But it seems that Danny's past will never let him go.
AN: The first chapters will lead you from past to present to see what is actually happening. The transition between past and present will be done with flashbacks and Pipelines. I hope you'll like it and that the whole thing isn't too confusing. Enjoy!
Many thanks are going to Pepite for giving me so many (great) ideas on it, especially on the feelings and doings of Lindsay. Pepi, you're the best and I'm glad to call you friend.
Disclaimer: Yeah, CBS owns all of the fun, I just borrowed it

Chapter One

Lindsay was holding onto him. She grabbed his shirt and cried. Danny was holding her tightly, holding her, absorbed in deep thoughts and full of fear for their little daughter.

How could something like that happen?

He didn't know. All he knew was that he would do everything conceivable to hold his daughter back in his arms again, to give her back to Lindsay, to see Lindsay happy again.

He stroked Lindsay's hair and kissed her forehead. She was still crying. Gently he freed himself from her. He wanted to get up, but she stopped him to do so.

"Don't leave me, Danny" she said and cried.

"Honey, I will never leave you!" Lindsay was still sobbing. Danny grabbed her face so that she had to face him. "Hear me? I will never leave you. Okay?" he asked. Lindsay nodded.

"I just want to call Don."

Lindsay nodded, but let not go of him. "I wanna talk to him, too. Please!" she begged. It tore him apart. He closed his eyes to not see her this way. A few tears fell down his cheeks, so he turned away from her. He sighed.

As he turned back to her, he knelt at her side and caressed her cheeks.
"You should take some rest, Lindsay. I will take care of it. I promise. Let me speak to him alone. The whole thing is hard enough for you."

"But… I'm her mother. I want my baby back!" She began to cry again. "Danny… I want my baby back!" She fell into his arms. Danny held her tightly and stroked her hair.

"Shh, Lindsay everything will be fine. I just know it. You'll see. You have to take some rest. Please Lindsay" he begged.

Still sobbing she nodded. "Okay" she said.

Danny lifted her chin to give her a slow kiss. Then he kissed her tears away. She was shivering as he did so. As he placed a kiss on her forehead he guided her to lie down on the couch. "Try to sleep. I'll be here. Remember?" Lindsay nodded.

"Danny?" she asked.


"I love you so much." Danny smiled slightly.

"I love you, too. We're going through this, Lindsay" he nodded. She held his hand tightly. Danny wanted to let go of her, but she held onto him.

"Danny?" she asked again. He nodded.

"Could you bring me Emily's horse?" Danny saw tears falling down her cheeks. He nodded again.

"Sure" he whispered.

He kissed her forehead and got up.

He sighed as he was about to enter his daughters' room. Everything was on its place. He leaned on the doorframe. He couldn't just walk in. There was a silence in this room he was so afraid of. He was so afraid that he would never hear the giggling of Lindsay again, while she was powdering and swaddling Emily. He closed his eyes as he felt tears coming back to his eyes.

Finally he walked into the room. Somehow he managed to walk to her baby cot. He smiled as he looked at the pictures of Lindsay with her bump and the first picture of Emily hanging on the wall. She was so tiny. Back then he was so afraid that he could break something as he carried her the first time. And now… he shook his head and touched the frame. He had promised that he would do everything to protect her. He'd break this promise. What was he going to do, if he would never see her again? He didn't know. He looked down into the empty bed and sighed as he took her little stuffed horse out of the bed. Then he turned around and left the room.

"Linds?" he asked. She nodded. Danny knelt down beside her and gave her the stuffed horse he was carrying. Then he gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Now go to sleep" he said. She nodded again.

Lindsay held the stuffed horse tightly. She could smell the baby powder that was still on it. She could smell her daughter. Tears came to her eyes. She held onto the last time she'd heard her daughters laugh. She held onto the stuffed horse which made her daughter always giggling. She held onto every single memory of her, just to keep the hope alive.

Danny was stroking her hair. "I love you" he whispered. Then he got up and took the blanket which was hanging over the armrest and put it over Lindsay.

TBC... please review.