er...I was re-reading this and I realized I forgot to put something and that might put me in a spot of trouble.

so I'll say it now


any references or comments I use from TV shows, kiki, movies, kiki, websites, kiki, books, and kiki, belong to um...them. so yeah. but there's a bunch of stuff that's mine too.

oh, and I have nothing against Canadians. I just like poking fun at them, you'll see. I also apologize in advance for anyone I might offend with future racial/sexist whatever comments that will pop up in this story. but my advice, get over it. I love all races, all people, ('cept, you know, the crazy ones, like Hitler, grrr) but I still make fun of everything. so don't feel bad or excluded cuz I bash on EVERYONE.

if you can't take a joke.

you're weak, leave.

other than all that, I'm sorry for the wait--damn writer's block--and I thank everyone for their patience! and in some cases, for their threats!


Chapter 5: So It Doesn't Mean Sex?

Not many things scared Naruto.

The few that did being:


Lina's friends.

Ghosts (which so totally exist.)

And the fear that one day there will be a discontinuation of instant ramen. The occurrence that will drive Naruto to commit suicide and leave a bloody note next to the knife that says "WHY?"

Other than those, Naruto wasn't scared of anything. Actually, the prospect of a hot boy advancing on you in a manner that seemed to be going in the direction of sex usually thrilled Naruto.

And perhaps, if Naruto hadn't just recently discovered that a carefully advancing Sasuke was actually a giant lizard--oh wait, no, ahem, dragon--then maybe he WOULD be thrilled about this, since he would admit that, in spite of how fucking WEIRD Sasuke was, Naruto had developed a small crush on him over the past few days.

But the fact that Sasuke was a supposedly mythical creature only made Naruto want to shit his pants as the raven stepped closer and closer to him until they were a foot apart.

Sasuke smirked and leaned down, placing one hand on Naruto's knee and the other on the armrest of the couch, coming in close to the blonde's face, "I'm so glad I got such a pretty other. Tell me, do you like me as much as I like you?"

Naruto's mouth fell apart. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?


Oh yeah, real articulate. Wasn't this bastard supposed to be explaining--WHOAH THAT FEELS GOOD!

Apparently at some point, Sasuke had decided it wise to clamp down on the other's neck and suck with feverish intentions.

Naruto whined and threaded his fingers in ebony hair, tugging at it suggestively, and he gasped when a tongue suddenly began trailing itself up his neck and along his jaw until it slipped in between his parted mouth.

A loud groan erupted from Sasuke, pouring itself into Naruto's throat until he pulled back and dragged himself down the blonde's body, gripping his bare sides with his hands and holding him close.

Naruto arched with need, forgetting about everything but that wonderful wet muscle sliding down his chest and the fingers wrapped around his torso that were now digging in and hurting like ALL FUCKING HELL!

"OW! SHIT! LET GO! LEGGO DAMNIT!" the blonde yelled, kicking the other off and wrapping an arm around his stomach, "Owww..."

Sasuke shook his head quickly and raised a brow, "What?"

"My BRUISES you JACKASS! The bruises that YOU gave me! You were digging your goddamn CLAWS into them and it HURT! Jesus CHRIST! If you're going to come on to me at least do it without rupturing my organs!"

Sasuke sat still for a moment before a slow smirk spread his features. He stood back up, "Is that permission for me to come on to you?"

Naruto's breathe caught, 'YES!' "!"

"Hn." Sasuke smiled lazily, then began stepping forward again until Naruto raised a hand to stop him.

"Not so fast man! Every time you want to avoid questions, you go and start molesting me! Not this time!" he carefully moved his arm from around his torso and righted himself on the couch. He took a deep breath and stared at the other man, who was looking back at him with an amused tilt of his lips.

Naruto gulped and cleared his throat, loosely draping his arms across his legs so his hands fell between them, "Now listen here" he began, "You are the freakiest shit that has ever happened to me. And believe me, I know some freaky people. Now what did you say earlier? That you're Or something?"

God if that didn't sound weird...and...kinky...but still weird.

Sasuke chuckled. Damn bastard. "Well, partially, yes."

Naruto nodded, "Okay." he lifted a hand and pointed a finger to the seat next to him, "Sit."

The raven's eyebrow twitched, like he was a bit pissed from the blunt order.

But Naruto didn't waver. He snapped his fingers, "C'mon freak, sit."

Sasuke grumbled something but obeyed nonetheless.

Naruto grinned, moving his hand back, "Alright then. Now, from the beginning, I want to know who you are, what you are, why you've been stalking me and what the hell you WANT from me. Go."

Sasuke snorted softly and licked his lips, "Well, my name is Sasuke. I'm a dragon--"

"Okay hold it. Are you sure you're not a lizard?"


"Well don't dragons have wings?!"

" What makes you think I don't have wings?"

"Well you didn't have them earlier, in the bathroom." he paused, brows furrowing, "And shouldn't you be bigger? I mean, you're kinda puny."

This seemed to offend Sasuke, and Naruto involuntarily drew back. "We can change form into any size. I could be two feet tall, or a hundred feet, even a thousand if I felt like it. There is no restriction on how large or small we can be. And as for my wings, I can take them out and retract them at will, so they're not always visible."

Naruto took in the information and nodded slowly, "" he said slowly, "Where in the hell did you come from?"

Sasuke smiled, "Canada."

Naruto blanched, "Excuse me?"


"...You came from Canada?"

"That's where all dragons come from."

"All dragons...are Canadian?"

"No. But there's a cave there where we're all born. That's where dragons bring their eggs to hatch."


Now, Naruto was no expert on...fairy tales, but he was damn sure he'd never heard anything about dragons being born in Canada. He clenched a fist and looked away, shaking it threateningly at the air, "I knew those damn Canadians were hiding something...they're just too damn perfect..."

Sasuke raised a brow and tapped the other, snapping him out of whatever trance he was in, "Huh? Oh, uh, sorry. Ahem, okay, last, why were you looking for me and what do you want from me?"

That damn smile again, "Freedom."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yeah buddy, I get that, you've only been throwing that word at me every two minutes. But I don't get what you mean or how I'm going to give it you."

"By taking me."

Naruto blushed, "I already told you I'm NOT going to have SEX with you!"

"It has nothing to do with sex."

Naruto jerked back, "Nothing to do with sex? Wait, so it doesn't mean sex?"


The blonde growled, "Well then why the hell do you say it like that and start raping me?! What else could it mean?!"

"When you go to buy a pet, a dog, a cat, a fish, anything, what are you doing?"

Naruto blinked, "Um...spending money I don't have to spend?"


"Buying it for someone else?"


"Well how the hell should I know?! I'm not going to buy a pet!"

"You damn idiot! You're taking it in! You're accepting it! You're welcoming it! How much simpler can I make this for you?!"

Naruto paused in consideration for Sasuke's words, " Is that what you mean?"


Naruto's eyes widened, "I have to adopt you?"

"Yes, you have to claim ownership over me."


"So I can be freed from my current owner."

"Why do you have to have a owner?"

Sasuke sighed and looked down, "Well usually, we don't, we live freely. But, if within the first minutes of a dragon's life, it comes into contact with human, it becomes connected to that human by a link, shown by a mark that appears on our skin."

"So what are you saying? That you have that mark?"

Sasuke nodded and turned slightly, showing Naruto the spot at the back base of his neck, where three small circle like figures marred the skin there.

Naruto's lips formed an 'o' and he reached forward to touch it, but Sasuke turned back before he had a chance. "Uh" Naruto murmured, catching Sasuke's stare, "It's...pretty?"

"No." Sasuke said, "It's not. My brother and I were stolen before we hatched by a pasty, psychotic, snake freak who touched us when we were born."

", well in that case, it's ugly."

Sasuke smiled a bit.

It made Naruto smile too, but he caught himself and shook his head, " where do I come into all this?"

"You, my clumsy little idiot, are my other."

"Your what?"

"Certain dragons who are touched have the small chance of being connected to another human besides the one who marked them. A human that is chosen by fate."

Naruto quirked a brow, "Riiiight...Neji would have a field day with you if you believe in all that destiny crud too."

"It's true. This human is referred to as an 'other', and they hold the power to claim the dragon as theirs and derive ownership of the previous one. But it's up to the dragon to find them."

"Uh...huh...and who is this guy that owns you?"

"His name is Orochimaru, and he has put my brother and me through all kinds of hell since we were born. He also has an assistant named Kabuto, who follows him like a shadow and practically orgasms at his name, it's quite disgusting actually. How devoted he is to him. I had to get away from there. Unfortunately, my brother does not have an other." he slammed his hand down on top of Naruto's and grasped it tightly, his lips spreading out into a sinister grin, "But I have you."

Naruto leaned back, "And...why can't you just run away from this guy?"

"We still have a link, he's bound to find me sooner or later, which is why I had to come and find you as soon as possible in hopes that you'll accept me."

"How the hell did you find me anyway?"

Sasuke snorted, "Besides the fact that you were tied up to a tree branch in the middle of nowhere?"

Naruto sputtered and yanked his hand out of the other's grasp, "Hey man! That was NOT my fault! I was assaulted!"

Sasuke shrugged, "You do hold a point though. I would have never known about you on my own. There was actually a third dragon that Orochimaru owned who told me about you. He said to find 'a blonde idiot with fiery temper, whisker marks and a spiraled stomach.' Then he left to find his own other who had been communicating with him through dreams. And since his tie was severed with Orochimaru, I assume he must've succeeded in his quest."

Naruto groaned in annoyance at the description, " basically, all you need me to do is accept you more or less as or property or whatever, and this Orochimaru dude will leave you alone?"


Naruto nodded quickly and smiled. He sat straight, "Okay, let's do it, I'll take you." he held out his hands, remembering when Sasuke had placed them on his chest, "How does it work?"

Sasuke sighed, "It's not that simple, I wish it were."

Naruto's smile faltered, "What?" he dropped his hands in exasperation, "C'mon man, this is really messed up, I just want to get it over with."

Sasuke's eyes snapped to him, making Naruto shrink back, "That's why. It's not just a simple manner of spouting a few words and performing some gestures."

A tan nose scrunched up in confusion, "Well that's what you were trying to make me do when you attacked my stomach the other night! Why would it work then and not now?!"

"I was so overwhelmed that I had found you, I had forgotten that you have to want me as well. You have to want to keep me."

"You think I don't?"

"Do you?"



"Well c'mon! This is a lot to take in! I want to help you but I can't just go around taking in dragons as pets! I'm trying!"

Sasuke rubbed his hands on his knees and sighed, "It's alright. I knew it would take time." he smiled after a moment, coal eyes peeking up at the other. "Besides" he murmured, leaning forward until his was a hair's breath away from the blonde's lips, "persuasion can't hurt."

Naruto felt his heart pick up speed. Sasuke's breath was cool and invasive, and God he looked so good...and parts of Naruto (lower parts anyway) were urging him to just grab Sasuke's face and drag it across every inch of his body. But other parts (sensible parts) were still reeling with the fact that there was a mythical creature sitting right in front of him. That he was the only one who could take it and give it freedom.

And other parts still, were scared shitless.

Sasuke was pressing closer, and before Naruto could give into the tempting heat, he forced himself to shove Sasuke away while yelling out, "NO! BAD Sasuke! No molesting Naruto!"

Sasuke looked at him, disoriented for a moment, before smirking, "No molesting Naruto?" he repeated with amusement.

"No molesting Naruto" the blonde smiled, "Unless Naruto says so."

Sasuke lurched forward but Naruto pushed him again, "And Naruto says, he's too freaked out to fool around right now." he wagged a finger at Sasuke, "No."

Sasuke glared.

"Look, if I'm going to keep you as a pet--um--someday, I should start treating you like one, shouldn't I? You know, put you in your place, like training! If I don't you'll be jumping me every chance you get. It'll be like teaching a dog not to hump your leg."

Sasuke frowned and sat back, "If you think it'll help you, I don't mind...for now."

Naruto nodded, "Okay." he stood up, "Let's go."


"You think I can keep this sort of thing to myself? I'll go insane! We're going to go tell Lina."

Sasuke cringed a bit, "Out of all people?"

"Well, I think she'll be least freaked out. Do you mind?"

Sasuke smiled, "Not at all. I'm in your hands...master."

Naruto returned the gesture, and ignored the shiver that ran up his spine.


Naruto gave Sasuke a wary look as he raised a hand to knock on Lina's door.

When no one answered, his brows knitted and he knocked again, "LINA!"

Sasuke snorted, "Maybe she's not home, let's leave."

"No, it's Saturday, she has to be home. Besides she came over earlier for sugar not to long ago." he knocked again.

Still nothing.

Sasuke punched his left hand into his right one, "Should I break it down?"

Naruto's head whirled to him, "NO! ARE YOU CRAZY?! She'll kill you! Then she'll bring you back to life to pay for the damages, and then she'll kill you again!" he looked back at the door, "Maybe she's in the bathroom or something." he placed a hand on the knob, "LIN--" his words fell away as his hand turned and the door swung open freely.

He blinked, "" he stepped in, followed by Sasuke.

But they both went still and sweat dropped when they saw Lina sitting on the couch in the same thing she was wearing earlier, boxers and a tank top, playing video games.

Naruto's face flamed up, "Lina! Didn't you hear us knocking?!"

Lina's tongue stuck out slightly as she moved the PS2 controller to the left, her fingers working furiously at the buttons, "Uh-huh, knocking, busy." she muttered.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Lina, I have to talk to you."


"But...Lina I have--"

"BUSY!!" she screeched, jerking the controller to the upper right, the buttons clicking in rhythm.

Naruto jerked but pressed on, "Lina, Sasuke is--"

"Hey, Naruto." she chimed.

Naruto tilted his head, "Uh, yeah?"

Her eyes were still glued to the screen, "Wanna hear a poem?"

Naruto's face brightened. He loved Lina's poetry, despite she was, Lina was actually a very good writer, "Yeah! Sure!"

"Roses are red and violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I PUNCH YOU!"

Naruto flinched. Well...should've seen that coming.

"Lina, c'mon, it's important."

Lina growled and paused the game, "Look you little pail of piss, I'm playing Final Fantasy right now, whatever shit you need to say can wait."


"Naruto, do you like your balls?"

Naruto stepped back, "Er...yes, I'm very attached to them." (A/N lol, get it? cuz they're attached? you know...cuz...they...he...well I thought it was funny damnit)

"Would you still like them if they were chopped off and shoved in your mouth?"

Naruto paled, his hands flying over his crotch, "No, please don't! I'll wait! I'll wait!"

Lina snorted and went back to her game, "Little pussy." she muttered.

Suddenly, the screen went black.

Naruto raised a brow and looked to his side, finding Sasuke holding a plug. He handed it to Naruto, who took it with a curious expression, "What's...?" he traced the cord with his eyes to find that it connected with the game system that Lina had been playing.

He stared for a moment, before his eyes widened.

Oh. Shit.

He chanced a look at the girl.

Lina was sitting completely still, her eyes still on the black screen. And abruptly, her fingers spread out, dropping the controller so it clattered to the floor. Her head slowly turned to look at the two men, much like that little girl in "The Exorcist."

Naruto heard lightning in the distance and remembered the plug in his hand, which he quickly dropped.

Lina shot up from the couch.

"No!" he panicked, shoving a finger at Sasuke, "It was him! I swear! He did it!"

Lina growled darkly and turned, stomping away into her kitchen.

Naruto spun to Sasuke and grabbed his shirt in both hands, shaking him violently back and forth, "YOU BASTARD! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'VE GOTTEN US BOTH KILLED! STOP SMILING! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! YOU ASSHOLE! STOP IT!"

Lina came back into the room and stood in front of Naruto with a very, VERY large fork in her hand.

"Bend over." she ordered.



"Lina it was HIM! I swear!"

She didn't seem to care, "You like COCKS up your ass so much? Well let's see how much you enjoy having a FORK shoved up there!"

"No! Please!"

Lina lunged for him, making Naruto duck and cover himself, but she never connected with him, or, thank God, his ass.

He opened his eyes and looked up, seeing Sasuke with Lina's wrist in his hand and looking down at her with dark eyes.

His mouth fell open.

Lina was glaring at the dragon, "Who the hell do you think you are chicken butt?"

Sasuke smirked and jerked the fork out of her grasp, tossing it somewhere far away before he quickly caught her knee that had tried to make contact with his crotch.

He leaned down to her scowling face as Naruto watched with awe. Lina was being taken down!

"Please refrain from causing my master any actual injuries." he murmured.

Lina was seething, trying to remember where she had stuck her gun.

Naruto shook his head and pulled at Sasuke's shoulder, "Uh...let her go boy."

Sasuke glanced at him before gracelessly dropping Lina.

The girl stumbled and grit her teeth, "You're dead emo prick." she muttered before turning to go for her gun.

"Lina wait!"

She stopped, looked back at him, "Your boyfriend has disrespected me Naruto, he must die now."

Naruto jumped forward and took her arm, "Just give me three minutes and you'll forget about it, I promise."

Lina turned to him fully before glaring at the other man, then looked back at Naruto, "Make em' good."


oh it's not as serious as I made it sound, notice this is HUMOR/Romance, not ANGST or DRAMA, no one's gonna get killed. but believe it or not, I am that scary. ESPECIALLY if you bother me during video game time, but I don't have a gun, of course not, that's crazy...cough cough.

I love how Naruto treats Sasuke like a dog, owning him. even though Sasuke's gonna fuck him eventually on a kitchen island with cake and whipped cream and...mmm...I mean--NO! damnit! I spoiled it! too bad we won't get there without reviews though.