ONE SIMPLE MISTAKE
AUTHOR: Stompy Bigfoot
DISCLAIMER: Supernatural belongs to Warner Bros., Wonderland Sound and Vision, McG, Eric Kripke, and Robert Singer. I am only borrowing their characters for my own personal pleasure and no permanent harm will come to them.
SUMMARY: Wincest. After being cursed with a love spell for 24 hours, the boys find themselves in a interesting situation. Sam has to deal with the aftermath.
SPOILERS: Season One
RATING: R, language, and adult themes.
Italics are thoughts
That bitch. Why did she have to curse us before we killed her? Now I have to deal with feelings that I buried before I left to Stanford and who knows what other complications this hunt had brought us. Damn it. Sam sat on the bed in his bedclothes, while Dean was having his shower. I love Dean more than a brother, and I dealt with it for years, it was six-feet-deep for all this time, and now, because of that fucking witch, it resurfaced itself again. Damn it.
I can't believe we had sex last night. Argh, it's still a surprise that Sam wants to continue to talk to me…Talking about Sam, very interesting of him to say "let's just leave this in the past, pretend it never happened." I wonder what's wrong. Please don't hate me. I didn't mean to do anything you don't like. Dean turned off the shower, and continued on doing his everyday after-shower activities quietly. This whole episode was one big mistake, and please don't leave this time, I don't think I can handle it like last time, we only started to rebuild our relationship. We both know it was only triggered because of that bitch, I'm straight, you're straight, none of us are gay here. Hell, we don't even have incestuous thoughts on each other. I have to agree with you here, let's leave this behind us like it never happened. I can do that…I can do that…
After both Winchesters had their showers, they both agreed that they should get the hell out of Dodge. Like always, Dean was the one to drive, and Sam was left to his own devices, this time, it was thoughts on last night. I remembered everything, even with the curse. Why does the world hate me? I know Dean would never return my own feelings, which are sick anyway. I'll just keep my own sick thoughts to myself…
Taunt muscles…amazing hazels…soft lips…golden chest…fine legs…strong arms…incredible lips…loving hands caressing his sides…gentle fingers probing tenderly into his virgin hole…Dean making love to him…coming with Dean…Dean whispering "Love you"…Sam tilted his head back sharply against the seat, closed his eyes, and gave a small sigh. Life sucks…
Dean gave a concerned glance to his right at Sam. "You okay there?"
Sam opened one eye lazily and gave a poignant smile, "Yeah. I'm okay." Sure, I'm okay, I'm a million miles away from being okay, but this will pass…it has to pass anyway…even if it hurts…I have to deal with it…this isn't one of my fantasies…this is reality here…reality doesn't always follow my path…---
ONE MONTH LATER
Dean woke up to the sounds of puking that night. What the hell? Sam's sick…not again…I'm getting this out of him…he didn't think to tell me? He got up from bed…it's 3 am…too early for anything…and went into the bathroom, to see Sam in the middle of seeing his dinner again. Sammy…
Dean went further into the bathroom, kneeled next to Sam, and began to rub relaxing circles on his back. Sam moaned painfully and heaved more of his Italian into the bowl. God…what did I eat…I never feel sick after pizza…arghh…this doesn't make any sense here…I've been physically sick for the past week…it can't be the food…damn it…
"The Pizza didn't agree with me tonight."
"Sammy. I don't think it's the pizza."
"What Dean?" Sam finally turned his head towards Dean. He looks like death had warmed him over 100 times…bad Sammy bad…
"You've been like this for the past week." Sam gave Dean a perplexing look at his statement.
"I'm not deaf Sammy, I hear your nightly visits to the toilet bowl."
"I seriously don't know Dean." Sam had returned to his original position. "If it wasn't the fact that I'm a guy, I would think that I'm pregnant. Morning sickness, weird food cravings, wired up emotions." Sam by now, had got up, and flushed the toilet.
"I've noticed. And you might be." Sam gave Dean a what-the-hell look after his announcement. Dean is loosing it…men can't get pregnant…this is getting more and more fucked up…from that night a month ago to this…what is he going to tell me next…he's a chick…or what…I was adopted…
"I'm not joking here dude. You know anything can happen. If we believe in demons and shit, then things like this can happen." Dean declared.
What is Dean up to now…Sam looked at Dean questionably, detecting the nervous stance…Dean's never nervous when it comes to me…"What is it Dean?" Sam asked bluntly.
"Here, urinate into it, and wait for several minutes for the results." Dean handed Sam a small package.
Sam looked at the 'package', it read Pregnancy Test. "You've got to be kidding me." Dean is nuts…what is he thinking…he definitely wasn't joking last night then…
"I'm being dead serious." Dean stared at Sam frankly.
"Fine then." He's being dead serious here…okay then…I'll do it just to settle you down…
Sam walked swiftly into the bathroom, and closed the door softly behind him, the soft click of the door echoed in a defeated sense, as if mimicking what both Winchesters were feeling.
Ten minutes later, Dean heard a loud 'clank' from within the bathroom door, and not a second later, the door opened, revealing a shaking and pale Sam. I knew Sam was pale, but this shade is impossible.
I can't keep it. I can't keep it. I can't keep it. I can't keep it…
"It's positive, but don't worry, I'm not planning on keeping it. This will delay our hunting, and we can't afford to wait around for another ten months because of a baby." Sam said neutrally, while leaning heavily against the doorframe. I feel like an old man…all hollow…tired…drained…just want everything to be over…damn you god…
Dean just nodded slowly at his response, "Okay Sam."
I really want to keep it, but I have to do what's best for us, for me and for Dean…I can't make Dean delay his hunting days because he feels obliged to…I can't go through each day knowing that this is the result from a simple mistake, not love…I have to abort it…it's better in the long run…and further more…what would dad say…
Three days later, Sam went to the chemist, and bought an abortion pill. "My partner and I aren't ready to have children yet. She's currently in bed, so I am buying the pill for her." The pharmacists just nodded, not really caring if Sam was supposed to or not.
"You got it?" Dean asked once as soon as they got back on the road.
"Yeah. Apparently, you just take it, and then soon after, you loose the child. This does damage the ovaries severely, but be reasonable; I'm not planning on getting pregnant again anytime in the future." Sam dry swallowed the pill, following the instructions on the package.
Why does Sam seem sad about this whole anecdote…of course silly…this is his own child we're talking about…
TWO WEEKS LATER
Everything was back to normal, or as normal the Winchesters' lives can be. Dean decided to get Sam drunk. It's finally back to what it was before the whole witch shit. Sam's aborted the baby, we agreed on putting that night behind us, so yeah…life is back to normal.
Sam for once, agreed to get drunk with Dean. I need it after this freakin episode…I have to put my sick feelings for Dean behind me…it's becoming a health hazard…ahhh…tequila…goodies…
After both boys had drowned down at least 5 shots each, Sam popped a question. So much for leaving everything behind us. "Why did you continue if the spell had worn off you that night?"
"Because you seemed to bee enjoying it, and I was like, this feels so good, so why not just continue on. Awwwww Sammy, it was only sex. Just get over it." Dean slurred slightly to Sam. Damn it, I'm slurring...
This seemed to be the wrong thing to say, given that Sam looked more pensieve and upset at Dean's blunt answer. Dean, recognizing Sam's sad face at once, was about to start talking again, when Sam butted in. "I don't get it why you can't just stop when the spell had worn off, and go find a bimbo around the corner to relieve you. You had to continue it with your brother? Dean, if I was the notch on your bedpost, I wouldn't mind it so much…but…I'm not, I'm your bloody brother, not nobody…" Sam was unable to say anything more. After all, as drunk as he was, his fixation on Dean won't be revealed in any sort.
Sam needs to hear this…"Sammy, I love you okay, as a brother, but not as a lover, that's just wrong, even for us…and, it was just SEX. S-E-X, sex, you know…when two people have sexual intercourse…nothing special…just sex okay…why you're so upset over this anyway…I was in it too…should be worse for me…since I don't have a curse to blame it on…I didn't do anything you didn't want, did I?" Dean verbalized his thoughts at an already broken Sam. Please tell me I didn't just 'rape' Sam.
"No Dean, it was all consensual. Can we just leave it alone? I mean forget about this and go on with our lives and that's it?" Sam literally begged Dean at this.
Dean gave Sam an intense look of concern, and then continued to drink as if nothing had happened. Sam on the other hand, was in turmoil. I can never tell Dean how I feel. I can't have him look at me in disgust or rejection, but then, I also can't have him pursuing a relationship fundamentally because of obligation…why can't my life go right for once…Jesus…why do you hate me so much…god…what did I do…Dean can never know…this would go with me to the grave…
Both boys left the pub around at 3am, and like normal, they went to their respective beds, and slept until the next morning like any other day. Life was going back to normal.
One simple mistake…so much trouble…for us physically and mentally…I'll live…love you Dean. With that, Sam went to sleep and had to go on with his life as if all the aguish and pain were gone forever, but realistically, it was still there, but Sam had learned to deal with it…I'll deal with it, no matter how hard it is.