Chapter 49 I Love You's and Goodbyes are hard to Say


The puppy Severus had given her was a wonderful magical familiar, he was German Shepherd and in the on coming months he got properly trained by Remus (who had a way with dogs) and Remus trained Carina to be as he called it "Pack Leader". The dog, Lacklan (Loch-lin), they found, could turn his coat from the typical brown and black to a pure white and his eyes went from the deep chocolate brown to ice blue. Carina loved him and was in returned loved most dearly. The dog was kind to everyone but wouldn't leave her side for more then a few minutes it it could be helped.

Besides that he had given her a small ornate potions bottle that was full of something, the one mourning a few weeks later she decided to find out what it was, so with complete trust she downed the potion. It tasted horrible and as it hit her stomach, her stomach reflexed and she began to gag. It wasn't long before she was sweating and heaving over the toilet. "Soot!" the small elf was at her side in an instant. "Soot, go get Severus I must be allergic to his potion." she dry heaved again. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her arm still leaning against the toilet. Soon she felt cool fingers brush the hair out of her face. She opened her eyes and looked at Severus.

"Whats the matter, what did you drink?" he asked with his vice full of concern.

"The potion you made me for Christmas." she said and sat up and heaved into the toilet again.

"What potion?... Oh. Carina that wasn't a potion!" he laughed at her.

"Why are you laughing you poisoned me and now you laugh." she glared at him.

"No wonder your chucking! That wasn't a potion you silly chit! It was perfume I made for you!"

"WHAT!?" she sat up but she was weak from the vomiting so Severus had to pull her back into his arms, and she let him in spite of his laughing.

"You'll be okay,Pukey Princess, once you get it all up." he smiled at her.

The months passed and the end of the year was so close Carina could almost taste it. She had finished the clothes for her hufflepuff long ago and had taught the child how to knit remembering something her father had once taught her "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and you feed him for life." So now the girl was creating all new jumpers for her brothers and sisters. Her Syltherin student was the best reader in the class and he was now he was 5th in his class.

She had spent as much time with her father as she could, his health seemed to be slipping and he sometimes seemed 100 miles away. She was scared that the years was ending not knowing what it would bring. She grew in friendships she had formed. Sometimes she returned pranks on the Fred or George and sometimes Tonks.

Severus was getting more and more elusive and tempermental, so she let him be, not daring to play any kind of prank on him, but at night they talked long and deeply. She would cuddle up to him and he would wrap his arms around her. She would take great care of him when he returned from 'meetings' usually using the healing charm she had learned over Christmas. Once he was healed they would sleep in the same bed and he would give her whatever warmth and comfort she would need.

The three of them were doing the usual talking by the fire when Severus jumped up and pulled his necklace out. It was glowing green and his face went paler then normal. He stiffened his face and looked emotionless at Carina.

"What's wrong!?" She stood and the very big Lacklin jumped off her lap.

"I have to go to Hogwarts, you stay here." His answer was so calm that she could feel the falseness.

"Let me go with you!" she pleaded.

"Stay here." he repeated and then waved his wand, The whole house felt as if it had been shifted. Then he jumped through the fireplace it a burst of green flame.

Carina scooped a handful of powder and threw it in the fireplace and she jumped in only to be roughly tossed back out of the fire she jumped up ignoring the rug burn on her elbow. She wasn't connected to Hogwarts anymore. Lachlin was growling and barking at the fireplace and Carina was too frustrated to notice. She ran to the front door and out on the lawn. She could use the Headquarter fireplace.

It was night so at first she figured that her eyes were just unadjusted and she could see clearly. But a few steps more clarified that Severus had moved her house back to its old lot. She let out another frustrated shriek and ran into the woods heading toward the lock. Lachlan was running with her the whole time he could feel the seriousness himself. The trees began to clear out and she was running on the white Hawaiian sand she had put on the beach herself. She let out a straggled scream when she saw the green reflection on the black water. The Dark Mark was hovering looking so terribly forbidden and dark, that her heart felt cold.

The emotions from the people in the castle was so ridden with fear that she could feel it slightly from where she sat. This was terrible she needed to be other there but how!?

"Accio Broom!" She screamed. Her broom zoomed straight into her hand. She jumped on and zoomed a good fifteen feet over the water then the broom began to descend, she fought with it but it was determined to go down. She splashed into the water and surfaced looking at the castle. It was freezing but she would swim it if she had to. She went to the shore and transfigured her broom into a small canoe. "Lachlan get in boy." he jumped right in. She took a large branch and transfigured it into a paddle. She hopped in and began her trek across the black water. About fifteen feet in the canoe began to turn back toward the shore. Carina looked over the edge and say the merfolk leading the boat back to the shore.

"Please i have to go over there! They need my help" she screamed in the merfolk language a bit brokenly.

"We are under higher orders to keep you safe." one of the mermaids told her softly.

Tears splashed in the Lock and Carina sat on the shore crying. The mermaids began to sing ans serenade her. Lachlan was curled around her and fast asleep. He would perk up once in awhile when he heard a noise but when he determined it was safe he would sleep again. Carina just sat ans watched the distant figures appear and disappear. She sobbed when she saw Hagrids hut go up in flames.

"Miss Carina! Come quick Mister Snapes is here!"

Carina opened her eyes to find herself resting on Lachlan, she was still in the sad and her robes were covered in the white sand. She turned ans looked at a highly antsy Soot.

"What?" she sat up and looked him in the eye.

"Mister Snape is here. Something wrong with him he is slurring."

Carina got up and darted to the house. She ran and founded in her tub with nothing but boxers on. She was shocked to find him looking so undignified. He was leaning his head over the side of the tub both arms stretched out of the tub too, his hands touching the floor. There was an empty bottle of fire whiskey on the floor and a half empty on in his hand.

"Severus?" she lightly called.

"In a bullet proof vest,
With the windows all closed,
I'll be doing my best,
I'll see you soon,
In a telescope lens,
And when all you want is friends,
I'll see you soon." He sang slurring a bit to her. "You know that song reminds me of someone. She stays locked away, and she is always ... save."

He finally lifted his head and looked at her, and she gasped, he had been crying. She went to her cabinet and got out a sober-up potion. She took off her robes leaving her in shorts and a tank, walked to him and sat on the edge of the tub and but her feet into the water that was turning colder and colder. She waved her wand and heated up the water. "Come here Severus." she cooed at him

Severus lifted his head and laid in on her lap. She rubbed it and played a bit with the smooth silky strands. "She held up his head and made him drink the sober-up potion. It would take a short while before it was truly in full effect though.

"Oh Carina, don't hate me." he mumbled into her legs.

" I could never hate you." she whispered back to him. She continued massaging his scalp and cooing him.

He sat up suddenly and looked up in her eyes, his looked so broken that Carina put her arms on his shoulders holding him a bit. He pulled his arms up and with a single middle finger he traced the forearm to the elbows. He just wanted to touch her even if it was only this lightly.

"Carina, I wish I had the courage to say this before now. I wish I was whole man instead of this broken filth, I wish i deserved you, but the truth is I don't. I don't deserve to say what i'm about to say but my heart is so full that I might burst if I don't. You have haunted my thoughts, you invade my dreams, and make even my nightmares sweet. You are at the forefront of my ming no matter where I am, no matter who I talk to. I want you to know that I fought my feelings because you deserve so much more."

"Severus what are you saying?" she was pleading with him to tell her what she had dreamed of hearing for so long.

"Surely Carina by now you must know? " He said as the potion was clearing his mind.

"Know what?"

"That I'm in love with you."

He didn't wait for a reply but instead reached his body forward and captured her lips. He worshiped them, the feel of the soft lips of the person who his heart exploded for. He worshiped them even more when they let out a small happy moan. His arms were around her holding her as close to him as he could get. He didn't dare to deepen the kiss, but continued to shower all his love into it.

Carina felt the world drift away in his arms. He said the words that her heart need the most. She felt so alive and felt every ounce of love that he was pouring out to her. He did! He loved her, she could feel it like a blanket wrapping around her. She closed her eyes and got lost in the deep feelings. Suddenly it was over and there was only a necklace in her hands. She opened her eyes and saw him walk out of the bathroom. She followed and saw him disappear into a green flame. Once again she tried to Follow but was not allowed.

Panicked she ran to the kitchen for the fire place. She was surprised to see a pensieve sitting on the counter. She looked at the pendant in her hand. The swirling blue memory it contained was something he wanted her to see. She uncapped the vile and poured it into the pensieve then followed it in.

She was on top of the astronomy tower, there was a group of unknown people, but there was also her father looking gravely ill. She watched as he pleaded with Severus, and watched in horror as the fearful words were shouted and her Father fell from the tower. Then she was back in the kitchen.

Severus had killed her father. She felt empty, hollow. She walked out of the kitchen down the hall to the red door opened it and then closed it behind her.

The End.

Or is it?

A/N I'm done! Ands what do you guys think should I do a part two? So you guys know this is the scene that was stuck in my head and i find it funny that the last chapter inspired the whole story. Kinda like the end was the beginning.

SpencerReid- I like the puppy part too! so what did you think of this chapter?

tammygirl359 -I'm glad you love the story.

Obsessed.Otaku.of.America- there he admitted his love to her even kissed her.!!! thanks for your adament review i enjoyed it.

debjunk- In high school I went to a private school and we had to wear plated skirts, one windy day I was walking from the car line and the next thing I knew was my skirt was over my face and I had just flashed an intire line of people. I turned so red that when I sat in class everyone could tell what happened, I had to laugh it off But if I could have killed the wind I would have. Thanks for your reviews I always look for them

Soccergirl0388- Thanks for you review. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter.

If enough of you guys want it I will continue the story after the holidays so REVIEW!