I wrote this about 1 hour after I had seen them perform live in London (their first UK gig, might I add). Bill looked at me 4 times - I was standing on a chair in the disabled area; Mum has a badge. And he started off singing every single song directly to Tom. It was so beautiful!! fangirl squeeing phase So when I wrote this I was in bed. It was good.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokio Hotel. The most I've had to do with them was when Bill looked at me for 5 seconds. Which is actually a long time. For all I know, this twincest is fictional (yeah right).
Though he was still uncomfortable admitting it to himself, Bill was in love with Tom. He couldn't remember how long it had been for now; possibly for their whole lives. Tom had always been different from Bill, even though they were identical twins. Maybe it was their differences that brought them closer.
For a long time Bill had been convinced that his feelings for Tom hadn't been normal. He was even sure that they were unrequited. That's why he had made sure that they lost their virginity to each other. He had been jealous ever since Tom had his first kiss (although Bill claimed his the next day from the very same girl), and couldn't bear the thought that someone else would be Tom's 'first'.
He still remembered the day.
Tom was lying down on his bed, smiling up at Bill who was lying on top of him, holding himself up.
"We get on well together, don't we?" Bill asked.
"We do," Tom agreed, stroking the side of Bill's face; he couldn't help himself.
"And so... we get jealous when the other has a... love interest. And sooner or later, it's going to get further than anything we've done before."
Tom nodded, taking in what his brother was saying.
"So I think," Bill continued, "That we should do it. Right now. We should lose our virginity to each other. Then we can't be jealous about who loses it first and who to, because it'll be to each other. It'll be special."
Tom nodded slowly, surprised that Bill was saying this. He agreed; he couldn't confess to himself how much he had been thinking about this sort of thing.
Smiling, he pulled Bill's face down to his, kissing his lips. He enjoyed the sudden adrenaline rush, and moved his hands to his brother's hips, pulling them down to his, loving the immediate response. He knew now that Bill had been serious, and quite frankly, he was happy about this. Even when he heard Bill's moan as Tom's fingers crept up through the material of his shirt, he knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do.
Bill remembered the tantalising feel of Tom's hands all over him, caressing, teasing, wanting. He remembered the way his voice had sounded as he pushed himself inside Bill. He remembered the pure love that had glowed in his eyes, an expression of utmost caring and desire. He remembered it because he was sure he'd never see it again.
Things had gone back to normal the next day, although he felt satisfied that Tom would always remember that night, and that he would too. For the rest of his life. Sometimes it seemed that Tom was distant from Bill, but by now he had learned to put up with it.
In each concert they played, Bill sang the beginning of each song directly to his twin, staring into his eyes, forcing the message to sink in. Sometimes he would get a response, a smile, sometimes he would get nothing. These were the nights that left him feeling most upset. He remembered that night where he had been standing on the roof, seriously considering to jump. Tom had found him them, yet they had only become a little closer. One night, Bill decided that it was very important to confront his brother about the growing distance between them.
"This feels wrong. You know it, don't you? Why are you so distant with me? It's killing me, you know it almost did. We don't talk as much any more, and I hate it. I..."
After that, Bill let the sobs he had been suppressing for months escape him, unable to control the fact that he was shaking uncontrollably. Tom just stood there for a moment, surprised at his brother's sudden outburst. He bit his lip, wondering if he'd regret what he was about to do. Cautiously, he walked over to Bill and enclosed him in his arms, suppressing a sigh; he had forgotten how good it felt to hold Bill like this. He suddenly asked himself how he had been able to maintain self control while Bill was around: he had this aura that made Tom feel like... doing something to him. Of course, he had always felt that Bill was something that needed protecting, and cursed himself for doing such a poor job of it.
"I'm sorry," he murmured into Bill's hair. "I should have known after that time we made love that we would need each other in different ways, and I should have done something about it. I... I'm sorry..."
Clutching Bill to him, Tom took them through to another room, locking the door behind him. He set Bill down on the bed, before stepping back and removing his own shirt.
"W-what are you doing?" Bill asked, confused.
"Letting you know that I love you. And... making up for these past few years..."
With an air of caution, Tom stepped towards his twin and pressed their lips together, not surprised when Bill didn't respond for a while. After that, Bill learned what heaven really was, remembered every pleasant sensation his brother could inflict upon him. He ravished the contact, and refused to let Tom move his body too far from his. It was a crushing agony; now that they were together, he never wanted to be away from Tom.
"I love you," Bill moaned after they had finished.
"I love you too," Tom replied, grazing his brother's cheek with a kiss.
A few days later, they announced to a magazine that they wanted to die together. That was the deepest desire in their hearts, and nothing could change that.
Tada! Did ya like it? I hope so... it's kinda weird... Urh... see ya later?